UPJOKE
roman empirescandinaviaspaindanubejordanesarianismvisigothsgeticaitalypomeraniagothic languagevistulabaltic seahunsthervingi

Goth Jokes

Did you hear about the goth kid with dyslexia?

He sold his soul to Santa.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A goth, a weeb and a brony walks into a bar

Bartender said well well well! We don't see you people often in here. So how about this, I'ma make you an offer. Each one of you say the most embarrassing thing you have done, and the person with the most cringe-worthy story gets a drink for free.

The Goth said, well I cut my ex's name in my ...

I made a 3D game about a depressed self-harming goth

It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.

How do you get a goth down from a tree?

Cut the rope

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a goth prostitute?

Edgar Allan Ho

Credit where credit due,
Thx u/roxy-rambles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to describe my girlfriend's aesthetic, but "big tiddy goth gf" seemed too disrespectful.

So now I say she's a wiccan thick'n ready for a dickin'.

What do you call a baby goth bird?

An emo chick.

Credits to u/jasperatu for inspiration.

How did the goth kid break up with his girlfriend?

He sang her You Are My Sunshine.

What do you call a goth guy who likes women?

A straight edge

What do you call a goth kid with cancer?

Chemo

Goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls...

Except ginger goths. They go naked.

emos and goths should wear more gold

its pretty metal

Me: How much for the goth cucumber?

Clerk: That’s a cactus.

Did you hear about the goth anti-vaxxer?

She refused to listen to The Cure.

Old McDonald was a goth...

E i e M O

what do you call a group of Goth people eating ice cream?

Depressed á la móde

What do you call a fat goth?

Buffet the Vampire Slayer

What music do vegan goths listen to?

Soy division

How many goths does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them. First Peter Murphy does it, then Andrew Eldritch does it, and then the rest of them argue endlessly over who did it better.

Why do moths like the light?

Because if they liked the dark they’d be goths.

Theoretically a goat can get impregnated by a moth.

Scientists have never attempted the experiment however, as they don't want to create more goth kids.

What do you call 2 fat goths?

Morbidly obese.


I know I shouldnt joke about obese people they've got enough on their plate.

Batman walks into a bar with a pig...

It was a hot summers day and the barman thinks it's a strange sight, not to just see Batman, but to see him with a pig that has jet black hair, black eye shadow and studded bracelets.
The barman says "Is there anything I can get you Batman?"
He replies "Just-ice for goth-ham"

A jew, an episcopalian, a veterinarian, a hipster, a redneck, a goth, and a frat boy all walk into a bar that promotes diversity

The bartender says "sorry, we have enough whites."

I used to wonder why my history teachers loved to teach about the Roman Empire so much. I think I get it now.

They both hated vandals and goths.

Saw an over weight goth today,

I thought to myself, he's morbidly obese.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A principal notices a Post-It on a locker.

"Jocks of JFK High! This small change in diet can boost your physique FOREVER! Head to the gym to find out how!"

Puzzled, he pulls it off and continues down the hall. Just a few lockers down, another catches his eye.

"Hey goth girls! Tired of dark eyeliner that just runs all day? One ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Late one night in the Adams family household Cousin Itt was feeling horny.

His mind could not stop thinking about how earlier that day he'd seen Morticia lounging by the pool. Her pale goth flesh, pert breasts and slender hips were too much for him to take so with a flourish he did the deed and in doing so shotgunned his seed all over his fur. I will clean it in the morn...

Police baffed by grave robber

Local police were having a hard time catching a grave robber. He figured he would minimize his time in the graveyard by taking the whole corpse so he could take fillings out at his leisure. To hide the evidence he was adopting out the skeletons to worthy goths on Craig's List.

Turns out that ...

Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?

Goth Brooks

A woman goes up to an employee at a garden shop.

“How much for this goth cucumber” she asks,
“Ma’am that’s a catcus”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Les Mis Joke (from r/Lesmiserables Joke by u/shepy66

Ok, so there were these two guys at a high school, a really weird, lame, goth kid from France, and a really popular rich kid named John. Nobody actually new the French kid's name, but he was strange enough for people to make up their own. Creep, Emo, Lame-ass, Weirdo, and plenty of other (and much w...

At a programming job interview, I was surprised to see the interviewing manager was a snake...

Nevertheless, I decided to roll with it, presenting myself as any other interviewee would. However, at the end, I couldn't help but ask:

"So, how did a snake end up working here?"

The snake smirked and replied "Ith really quith thimple. I goth my thart in the IT department and worked m...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.