Do trans girls float in water?

After all, they are boy’nt

Why do dogs float in water?

Because they’re good buoys.

IF i ever see a billion dollars fall from the sky and float around in front of me i am going to grab it.

I suddenly understand fish on a whole new level.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber penises, floated in the vicinity.

The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the ocean, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.


"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
...

I had a friend who was always dressed well, and could float on lava.

He was flamboyant.

How amazing is that scene from The Last Jedi where Rey makes the boulders float..

CGI Rocks!

What type of wood doesn't float?

Natalie Wood

What do you call it when Freddie Mercury floats?

Flam-buoyant

What floats on the water and goes quick?

A South African duck.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If Mohammed Ali could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee

He would be dead after one punch.

Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...

I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

My friend Claire predicted she'd be able to float in water

Guess she thought she was Claire bouyant.

What’s big, gray, and can’t float?

A castle

All things that float are female

They're boyn't

How do you tell apart a girl ant and a boy ant?

the girl ant will sink

^the ^boy ^ant ^will ^float

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

TIL you can determine the sex of an ant by dropping it in water

Sinks - girl ant
Floats - boy ant

You know how to make a dead baby float?

2 scoops of dead baby and a coke....

Why does the Buddha float in water?

Because he’s enlightened

Why was the LGBT parade float a disaster?

Their tranny stopped working

Why did the male ant float while the female ant drowned?

It was bouyant

Ants can float on water using their toes. But why can't larger ants float on milk?

Because they lack toes in taller ants.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

"If It Flies, Floats, or Fucks:

**It's cheaper to rent!"**

So I guess it's not really a *joke* as much as it is a saying, but I found it really funny. I was at a BBQ joint, and the owner was arguing with his wife, then came over and said this to a group of us. Hope you guys find it funny and it's acceptable for r/Jokes!

What do you call it when Kratos floats in water?

BOYancy

How do you make a baby float?

A bottle of soda, a cup of water, and two scoops of baby.

How do you make an elephant float?

A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant.

A ghost floats into a bar

He stops at the bar and says “Barkeep, I’ll take a glass of your finest wine.

The bartender doesn’t respond.

The ghost is angered and says, “Your finest wine, or I’m going to haunt your bar.”

Still no response from the bartender.

The ghost says, “Hey buddy, what’s your p...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two whales are chilling in the ocean when a boat floats above them...

Whale 1: Hey, you know what would be funny? If we went under the boat and tipped it over with our blow holes.

Whale 2: Haha yeah, let's do it!

*The two whales proceed to go under the boat, blow their blow holes and tip it over*

Whale 1: Hahaha that was great! You know what woul...

Why did the Avengers have the best float at the parade?

They had a gigantic Banner!

How do you make a dead baby float?

-2 scoops vanilla icecream

-2 scoops baby

-Add rootbeer and serve

How does Thor's home float in space?

_Asgardium leviosa!_

What do you call a breast that couldn't float?

Sanctity

Two Jewish banker escaped from that sinking Italian cruise ship

They were both clinging to a life preserver. One guy, knowing the other can't swim, says, " I'm going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?"

The second Jewish banker says, "how could you talk business at a time like this?"

The density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath.

However, you wouldn’t want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.

Why doesn't Texas float away into the Gulf of Mexico?

Because Oklahoma sucks.

What doesn't float to the top when it dies?

A day old reddit post.

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float ?

That's my buoy !

A ghost floats up to a bar...

...and points to one of the bottles on the shelf. "Give me a shot of that over there," he tells the bartender.

The bartender picks up a bottle. "This?" he asks.

"Nope."

The bartender picks up another bottle. "What about this?"

The ghost shakes his head.

"Ah," says ...

When your iPod stops working, it floats.

Because it doesn't sync.

My friend said he wanted to float at the top of the troposphere....

I said "You can't be cirrus."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two bananas were tanning when a piece of poop floats by..

So there were two bananas tanning on the beach when a piece of poop floats by. The poop yells " hey the waters great, get in". The banana turns to the other banana and says " do you believe that shit".

What's black and yellow and doesn't float?

A bulldozer.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Drunk Superman

This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out.

Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again.

...

A bubble floats into a bar . . .

The bartender asks, "What do you want?"

The bubble says, "Pop."

I used to work as a coast guard. There's one rescue mission that sticks in my memory.

A ship carrying a huge haul of industrial strength glue got into trouble just off the coast where I was stationed.

The weather was the worst I'd seen it, and one of the containers of glue had fallen from height and smashed into the hull, covering a number of the crew members in glue and knoc...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Muhammad Ali in 1974: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

Floyd Mayweather in 2015: Run like a chicken, hug like a bear

A good old Alabama boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing

He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, "What you gonna do with that?
There ain't no water deep enough to float a boat within 100 miles of here."
He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."
His brother came over to visit several days later.
He sees the wife and asks wher...

It was a fine Sunday morning...

... and the devil was bored.

He picked a nice quiet country side church and rolled up in a cloud of foul smoke and brimstone. Right in the middle of the sermon.

Screams all around as the flock run for their lives. All that is, except for the priest and a wizened old farmer chewing on ...

Deaf Genie

A guy walks into a bar into a strange scene, a foot long pianist on the bar in front of a customer staring at the pianist.

Minding his own business, he pulls a stool beside him and calls to the bartender "give me the most special order you have, it's a special day" he says.

The bartend...

My best mate told me he was totally into Beyonce.

I said "whatever floats your boat mate"

He said "No, thats buoyancy"

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Voodoo Dick

A man enters a sex shop, looking for a new toy to keep his wife busy while he goes on business trips. As a higher-up in his corporation, he tends to be away from home several times a month, and wants to ensure his wife stays faithful.

When he reaches the counter, he's shocked to see an old, w...