Preserver Jokes

Sadly, he couldn't swim, so he quickly drowned.
At the funeral service, I gifted his family a life preserver.
It's what he would have wanted.

Unless of course that life preserver is made of dough.

Emily died last week after she fell in the lake.

It's a shame she never learned how to swim.

We brought a life preserver to her funeral.

It's what she would have wanted.

A homeless man was one day walking down an alleyway from which you could see the back gardens of these mansion like houses on the street. He looks into a garden and sees a man in a suit crying and looking at the pool.

The man in suit fills his pockets with rocks and suddenly jumps into the po... read more

We buried him with a life preserver it’s what he would have wanted.
Credit to u/whiskeyinspace

The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, “Can you float alone?”

“Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”

A tour ship sails by and throws him a life preserver. The man denies the help, exclaiming, “God will save me! I believe in my Lord”. And thus, the boat sails onwards.

Another boat shortly thereafter spots the drowning man, and sends a rescue squad. The man denies the help, exclaiming, “God w... read more

They were both clinging to a life preserver. One guy, knowing the other can't swim, says, " I'm going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?"

The second Jewish banker says, "how could you talk business at a time like this?"

I preservered.