2 men in a life raft

2 men are in a life raft in the middle of the ocean, because their fishing boat had sunk

After a few days, the two are very exhausted and dehydrated

Suddenly, one sees a bottle floating past

“Maybe it has beer!” Exclaims the first man happily as he scoops up the bottle

Th...

What do you call a potato on a small inflatable raft?

An inner tuber!

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[Long] A Catholic, a Protestant and a Jew are stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean.

A Catholic, a Protestant and a Jew are stuck on a life raft in the middle of the ocean.

The Catholic and the Protestant pray for help, while the Jew relaxes in the corner of the raft, clipping his fingernails.

After they pray, the Catholic says to the Jew, "How come you're not praying?...

A German, a Russian, and a Syrian are in a life raft ...

The raft is slowly sinking and the 3 castaways are afraid it will sink before they are rescued, so they start looking around for things they can dispose of to lighten the load.

The Russian takes a case of fine Vodka, throws it overboard and says, "We have plenty of that in my country."
...

A Russian, Jamaican, Mexican and American are on a raft...

A Russian, Jamaican, Mexican and American are stuck on a raft and the Russian decides to pull out a large bottle of vodka and drink it. Before finishing the bottle, the Russian tosses the Vodka overboard.

Confused, the American says,"Hey! Why did you throw away that Vodka? We could've died d...

3 friends on a raft...

3 friends on a raft, stranded in the ocean. They stumble up onto this genie lamp floating next to the boat. 1 guy picks up the lamp and rubs the water off it. A genie miraculously poofs out, and thanks the gentleman for releasing him. He tells them that he will grant them 1 wish a piece. First guy s...

If Hilary and Trump are stranded on a raft in the ocean, who survives?

America. America survives.

There was this little girl sitting on the English side of the English Channel, bawling her eyes out. This pigeon was flying over and spotted her, so the pigeon flew down and asked what was wrong.

The little girl told the pigeon that she wanted to be a ballet dancer more than anything, but the only way she could be a ballet dancer was to get to France, being really the only place that teaches ballet.
After thinking for a moment, the pigeon told the little girl to wait and he would return.<...

A man has been stuck on a desert island for 10 years

when he notices an unusual speck in the distance.

“It’s certainly not a ship,” he thinks to himself.

As the speck gets closer and closer the man starts to rule out the possibility that it’s a small boat or even a raft.

Suddenly, emerging from the surf, is a beautiful blonde woma...

A man was stuck at a desert island for 20 years. One day, he saw something approaching.

With joy, the man looked at the approaching blur.
At first, it appeared to be a ship, then a boat, then a raft and ultimately a woman in a diver's suit came out of the water.
They talked. The woman asked, "How long since you last had a cigarette ?"
The man said, "20 years !"
The woman un...

Three in floating in the Ocean.

Three men floating in the ocean in a life raft when a smoke-filled bottle bumps the raft. One guy picks it up and opens it. Out comes the Genie. I will grant you each one wish but it can’t be changed…..The first guy shouts-out, turn the ocean to beer. The other two look at him then shake their heads...

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A Jewish man and a Christian man are on a plane

On this plane, they have a debate about which religion is more valid. Neither manages to convince the other, but it was a nice friendly conversation. Suddenly, the plane starts to smoke, and ends up crashing in the ocean. Once they're on the safety raft, and the Christian sees the Jewish man cross h...

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Shipwreck Hell NSFW

During a bad storm a ship overturns in the middle of the ocean, three men survive and float on debris for days before reaching a island. The men wake to find themselfs tied up in a small hut.

A tribal leader enters
"you may choose death, or you may choose punga!"

The men look at eac...

A man had been deserted alone on an island for 10 years...

When suddenly one day he sees a ship in the distance! He lights the signal fire and to his delight sees a life raft rowing his way. When the boat finally reaches the shore the man weeps with joy and hugs the man, the captain of the ship, who came to save him. The captain asks the man “Dear sir, how ...

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Mathematical joke

The cruise ship is 600 ft long, 150 ft wide, and 140 ft high, but only 110 ft above water.
It has 18 decks, and can accommodate 5860 passengers, holds a crew of 1800 personnel.
There are 18 lifeboats, each can take 150 passengers in case of emergency, also 20 inflatable rafts with maximum capa...

A drunk old Irish man told me this one...

A man, a pig and his dog are marooned on a deserted island. After a couple of months in isolation the man becomes lonely and begins getting ideas about the pig. But every time he tries it on with the pig, the dog would start biting his leg and barking at him.

One day the man spots a beautifu...

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A ship goes out to sea and crashes.

6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island.
Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived.
So they come to this agreement.
All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. ...

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An American woman is standing on a bridge preparing to commit suicide when a local sailor approaches her.

The woman tells the sailor that her boyfriend had left her and she had nothing left in this world to live for, so she was going to jump.


The sailor insisted that she must not do that, and said that tomorrow, he will be going on a ship to Europe, and invited her to come with him to start a...

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A husband and wife were in a shipwreck and ended up on a desert island...

After a few months of isolation, the man and woman noticed a raft bobbing in the waves. When the raft landed, a man emerged, yet another victim of a shipwreck. The man and woman welcome the newcomer.

"We've made things as comfortable for us as we can", the man told the new guy. "We have a ...

A carpenter, a tailor, a sailor, a priest and an economist were stranded on a desert island.

"I could chop down the trees and make a raft." Says the carpenter.
"I can stitch a few sheets into a mast."
Says the tailor.
"I can navigate the oceans with the help of the stars."
Says the sailor.
"I will pray for favourable winds and good luck."
Says the the priest.
All t...

My friend drowned. So at his funeral...

...we took a cake shaped like a life raft.

After all...It's what he would have wanted.

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Phillip fancied

himself quite a ladies man, so when his cruise ship went down in a storm and he found himself stranded on a desert island with six women, he couldn't believe his good fortune. They quickly agreed that each woman would have one night a week with the only man.

Phillip threw himself into the arr...

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This [long] joke always cracked me up..

My grandpa was stationed in Germany after the war. And when I was very small he told me about this little restaurant that served THE best Bavarian cream pie. Apparently he went there every opportunity he had. He couldn't get enough of that Bavarian cream pie - it was absolutely unreal.

Well, ...

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A blonde, redhead, and black girl survive a plane crash at sea...

They all climb aboard a raft, and the blonde says "girls I know how to get us rescued." She then let's all her beautiful blonde hair out of her ponytail and say's "Men always find me because of my bright blonde hair, the coast guard men will find us in no time!" The redhead then decides to take her ...

3 blonde girls is at the side of a river

And they're trying to get to the village on the other side

1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river

the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft a...

"This is your Captain speaking..."

"...if you look out of your window you will see a small yellow life raft floating in the sea. I am talking to you from there."

Apparently the Titanic had a lot of condiments on board

The ketchup and mustard werr carried off on the life rafts and people ate it while they were waiting for help. But one condiment was left behind... it was discovered slightly less than a month later at the bottom of the sea. Mexico suffered greatly from the loss and decided to commemorate the day ev...

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Boomshah! NSFW

Not an original, but a friend told it to me back in the 90s

3 men are drifting at sea in a life raft and see a large island in the distance and start paddling towards it. Eventually they arrive at the island, jump out of their raft and collapse on shore happy to be on solid ground.

All...

Three blondes are stuck on a desert island.

One finds a magic lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out and gives them each a wish.

The first blonde says, "I wish I was 10% smarter so I could get off of this island." Then she turns into a redhead and swims off the island.

The second sees what happens and says, "I wish I was 25% s...

Jewish Elderly Couple On Vacation

Bob and Sheila, and elderly Jewish couple were on their way to the Bahamas on vacation when, while at 36,000 ft they hear a large bang, then the plane loses a couple hundred feet. "What the hell was that?!" Sheila asks Bob. "I dont know, feels like we hit something", he replies.

Then, a minu...

Three blond women are stuck on an island ...

...within sight of mainland but too far to swim. They stumble onto a magic lamp and a genie pops out and offers them each one wish.

The first blonde wishes she were twice as smart so she could get off the island. The genie turns her into a redhead and she finds a large piece of driftwood that...

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So theres this ship...

This ship is carrying Hitler, his Nazi soldiers, and several Jewish prisoners. The ship sinks however, and the only survivors are Hitler, two soldiers, and one Jewish prisoner.

Hitler says "this raft can only support three people. I'm gonna ask you a series of questions. If you get them right...

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are on a desert island.

The blonde, starts swimming home and drowns.
The redhead builds a raft, starts paddling then it sinks and she drowns.
The brunette uses the bridge.

A small town has been flooded.

A man on a raft spots a priest, who has water up to his waist. The man says, "Quick father! Get on the raft before the water rises!" The priest says, "I appreciate your kind offer, but I am waiting for the lord to save me." Several minutes later, a boat spots the priest, who has water up to his shou...

Three blondes are lost after a shipwreck...

After the shipwreck, they wake up at a deserted island. They don't know what to do, tired and hungry, when one of them find a shining object lying on the beach. It is a golden lamp.

After a couple of hours, one of the blondes has the idea to rub the lamp. Surprisingly, a genie appears. "You h...

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Should we f*$% her?

Two lawyers are stranded on a desert island when a beautiful naked girl floats up on a raft. The first lawyer says to the second " should we fuck her?" The second lawyer replies " outa what"?

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The Magician & the Parrot

There once was a street magician who performed magic with cards, rings and many more items in his arsenal of tricks. One day he was approached by a well dressed man who offered him a steady job upon a cruise ship. The street magician eagerly accepted this opportunity and began performing his in the ...

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an American are captured by the enemy army

The army is on the move, keeping the prisoners in their forced march. They get to a river, but their raft has a large hole in it. In the war-torn field, there is nothing to fix the boat, so they decide to mend it with the bodies of the prisoners.

In a moment of mercy, the army general deci...