Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year

Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market

It's easy to convince ladies not to eat tide pods.

But it's harder to deter gents.

I'll let myself out.

Why do eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it’s too cold out Tide.

Trump brings back the Tide Pods challenge to fight against the Coronavirus

What? It's a disinfectant...

The tide will come in!

It did shore enough!

I hear all the kids that did the Tide Pod challenge can't get the Corona virus...

Because their social distancing is 6 feet vertical.

Old married couple eating a quiet 50th anniversary dinner

A husband and a wife are celebrating their 50 year anniversary by having some dinner. After being together for so long they don’t have many secrets but the husband always wanted to know.

“Hey honey, have you ever cheated on me? We’ve been together so long it doesn’t even matter, but I’d li...

If you smoke seaweed on the beach...

...do you experience high tide?

What do Prince Andrew and Tide Pods have in common?



They should always kept away from children

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A limbless man is on the beach

A man with no arms or legs was laying on a glorious beach in the blazing sun. A gorgeous redhead approached him and said
"Have you ever been kissed?"
The man replied "No".
The redhead knelt down and kissed him passionately.
Shortly after a gorgeous brunette approached him and said ...

People who eat Tide Pods are idiots.

The Costco brand pods are half the price. Just saying.

Last year, kids were eating tide pods. This year, they're getting vaccines and picking up trash.

Seems that eating tide pods makes you smart!

Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised.

I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...

A friend of mine said she was using detergent as birth control

She had her tubes Tide.

The evolution of tide pods

In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool

I used to be addicted to Tide Pods...

But I’m clean now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A new washing liquid has been launched

It is marketed as the Best Universal Grit Grime and Effluence Remover. So if Persil won't whiten it and Tide won't brighten it and Dash won't renew it - BUGGER it.

Learned today what causes high tides.

Sea weed.

What do Tide Pods taste like?

Natural Selection.

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A man with no arms and legs was sun baking on the beach.

A gorgeous blonde was walking past him, stopped for a second with a tang of pity in her eyes.

“Have you ever had a hug?” She asked.
“No.”
So with an “aww”, she gave him a big hug.

Two minutes later, another beautiful woman was walking past the man.

“Aw look at you honey. ...

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A Scotsman and an Englishman

Were walking along the beach when they come upon a beautiful Mermaid sitting on a rock.

Englishman says "Have you ever been kissed?" She says No, and he kisses her.

Scotsman says "Have you ever been fucked?" She says No, he says "Well you are now the tide's just gone out"

Tide announced the new motto for their pods line.

Cleaning the gene pool since 2017.

Yo mama so fat...

She went to the beach and the lifeguard said “madam, could you please leave the beach, the tides waiting to come in”

A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and an Alabama Crimson Tide fan are in a car together, but the car breaks down.

Luckily, there's a farm right nearby. The farmer says, "I only got room for two of ya in the house, so one of you's gonna have to sleep in the barn."

The Hindu holy man decides to go, but comes back to the barn because there's a cow in there, and Cows are sacred in his faith.

The Rabb...

What do you get when you stack a camera on top of 3 Tide pods?

A tripod

Are you a tide pod?

Because you’re lookin’ like a snack but you’re really just toxic to everyone.

What if tide pods..

Are just cleaning up people who should have been stains in the first place?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane crashed in the Pacific Ocean and only three people survived.

Eventually, with the tide, they luckily got carried to shore on a deserted island. These three people, two men and a woman, were smart enough to gather everything they could to set up camp.

After three months of surviving and a long discussion with the other man, the first one went to the gi...

What do you call a Tide Pod that prevents war?

A nuclear detergent

There was a lighthouse owner that noticed the tide was coming way too high and might wash away his home. So he called 911

It was an emerging sea.

What kind of detergent does a mermaid use?

Tide

Now that the tide pod fad is dying down

lets move onto the cotton candy in the attic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man with no arms and no legs is sitting on the beach, thinking deeply about his life.

As he lays there, unable to move, he thinks about all the rejection he has faced. Countless women, scared off by his grotesque appearance, have avoided all contact with him. Never been kissed, never been loved.


As he reflects on his sad, lonely existence, a beautiful, busty young lady, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man without arms and legs was sunbathing

Three beautiful girls notice him, the first girl walks over and says “have you ever been hugged?” The man shakes his head, and the girl hugs him. The second girl asks “have you ever been kissed?” The man shakes his head, so the girl kisses him. The third girl asks “have you ever been fucked?” The ma...

Russian emergency !

Russian President Putin called President Trump with an emergency:

"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.

"My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"

"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within t...

There is an upside to eating Tide Pods....

It takes the skid marks out of your underwear.

Are people eating Tide Pods because Trump is president?

Or is Trump president because so many people are willing to eat Tide Pods?

When an eel bites your thigh at the beach (at low tide)

That's a moray

Instead of using the fear of prison to dissuade criminals, we should start making them eat Tide Pods.

That would be a real crime detergent.

A friend and I decided to see who would die first after eating a tide pod...

“Now this is pod racing.”

There are flat earthers, there are tide pod eaters,

And there are people who want the first two to be the same.

Was this whole Superbowl a Tide ad?

I've seen stranger things.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with my best friends mother, sister and girlfriend all at the same time.

It wasn’t a foursome or anything, Roll Tide.

I don't know why people think eating Tide Pods is dangerous...

I mean, you could start today and eat them for the rest of your life.

People keep laughing at Millennials over this whole eating Tide Pods thing, but it started with Bill O'Reilly

“Tide goes in, Tide goes out. Never a miscommunication. You can’t explain that. You can’t explain why the Tide goes in.”

Tide is fully embracing their new consumers with their new Tide Pod containers...

They just changed their “active ingredients” to “nutrition facts”.

I don't need to inject disinfectant

I'm still protected by that Tide pod I ate two years ago.

I feel bad for all the people eating Tide pods.

They haven't figured out that Cascade actionpacs taste way better.

My mom caught me lying about smuggling Tide pods out of the house instead of doing the laundry

So I had to come clean

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Armless Man on the Beach

Three women see a man lying on the shore of a beach and decide to approach him. The man has no arms or legs. Feeling sorry for the poor man, the British woman of the bunch goes over to him. "Have you ever been hugged?" The British woman asks. "No." The man replies, sadly. So the British woman goes d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A group of...

A group of sperm cells in a guys balls are getting ready for their big moment. They all talk about racing to the egg, who will be first, how to get in, etc. But while all the sperm are talking, one sperm cell by the name of Matt instead of chatting is busy working out. He's doing sprints, push ups...

Due to turning into laundry detergent, I was unable to go to work today.

What can I say? My hands were Tide.

Two ants, Jack and Rose, are sitting on a leaf on water. Suddenly, a small tide comes and upturns the leaf. Only the girl ant sinks…

…because the other is a buoy ant

What's the score between the ocean and the beach?

Tide

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theres a man on the beach with no arms or legs

3 girls walk by and start speaking to him.

Girl 1: Has anybody ever hugged you?

Man: No...

*she hugs him*

Girl 2: Had anybody ever kissed you?

Man: I wish but no...

*she gives him a kiss*

Girl 3: Have you ever been fucked?

Man: Never!!!
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

To prevent someone from saying you are gay, you say "no homo" so what do you say to prevent incest?

Roll Tide

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor mermaid

Paddy English man, Irish man and Welsh man are on the beach. They see a mermaid sitting on a rock. The most beautiful creature they had ever seen.

English man goes up and asks, have you every been kissed? The mermaid is all coy and says no. English man gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek.Wel...

Letter to Tide from beloved consumer

Dear Tide

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!
One evening about a month ago, while at home, I spilled some red wine on my new white shirt. My wife started to berate me about my clumsiness and how expensive the shirt was. That I was stupid, couldn't even hold a glass rig...

What does a Notre Dame fan do after his team beats the Roll Tide?

Turn off the xbox and go to bed...

One of the lines in the song ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’ is, “I don’t know if there’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer”.

I’m concerned that Tide Pod eaters will misunderstand.

What's the difference between land and sea?

Land is dirty, but sea is tide-y.

Why did the fish swim across the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide.

A captain, newly assigned to his ship, meets with his crew at the tavern before they sail.

The crew receives him well, and encourages him to join them in drinking and shenanigans. He declines the former, but joins in on the latter. The crew tells dirty jokes, but what really gets them roaring is joking about the tavern owner, Rex.

"You sure you don't mind the teasing? As the captai...

The Cool Clam Club

Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.


Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initia...

Give a teen a pizza, they'll be full for a day

Give a teen a tide pod, they'll be full for the rest of their life

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Emergency supplies.

Three friends decide to go on a luxury cruise around the world. On the third night, the ship suffer's catastrophic damage in a storm and begins to sink. The three jump overboard and cling to debris to stay afloat. The next morning, they awake to find themselves washed up on a nearby small island. Th...

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