I heard it’s easy to convince women not to eat Tide Pods…

But a lot harder to deter gents!

Due to turning into laundry detergent, I was unable to go to work today.

What can I say? My hands were Tide.

Last year, kids were eating tide pods. This year, they're getting vaccines and picking up trash.

Seems that eating tide pods makes you smart!

To the people who ate tide pods.

What did you Gain?

Learned today what causes high tides.

Sea weed.

Why do people wash their clothes in Tide?

Because it's too cold out-Tide

What do you get when you stack a camera on top of 3 Tide pods?

A tripod

People who eat Tide Pods are idiots.

The Costco brand pods are half the price. Just saying.

Why don't we see kids doing the Tide pod challenge anymore?

They cleaned themselves up

Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year

Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market

A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and an Alabama Crimson Tide fan are in a car together, but the car breaks down.

Luckily, there's a farm right nearby. The farmer says, "I only got room for two of ya in the house, so one of you's gonna have to sleep in the barn."

The Hindu holy man decides to go, but comes back to the barn because there's a cow in there, and Cows are sacred in his faith.

The Rabb...

Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised.

I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...

My brother Tide and his new wife Annie went on a cruise for their honeymoon. Unfortunately my brother didn't survive the cruise.

Riptide.

There was a lighthouse owner that noticed the tide was coming way too high and might wash away his home. So he called 911

It was an emerging sea.

The evolution of tide pods

In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool

I used to be addicted to Tide Pods...

But I’m clean now.

What do Tide Pods taste like?

Natural Selection.

Roses are red, sometimes they're white

Just like my linens
This is a Tide commercial

Tide announced the new motto for their pods line.

Cleaning the gene pool since 2017.

What if tide pods..

Are just cleaning up people who should have been stains in the first place?

Give a teen a pizza, they'll be full for a day

Give a teen a tide pod, they'll be full for the rest of their life

Are you a tide pod?

Because you’re lookin’ like a snack but you’re really just toxic to everyone.

What do you call a Tide Pod that prevents war?

A nuclear detergent

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poor mermaid

Paddy English man, Irish man and Welsh man are on the beach. They see a mermaid sitting on a rock. The most beautiful creature they had ever seen.

English man goes up and asks, have you every been kissed? The mermaid is all coy and says no. English man gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek.Wel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There is a man with no arms or legs lying on a beach

There is a man with no arms or legs lying on a beach.
He is approached by three attractive girls.
The first one walks up to him and says:
"Have you ever been hugged?"
"No" the man replies, so the girl gives him a hug.

The second girl asks the man "have you ever been kissed...

A friend and I decided to see who would die first after eating a tide pod...

“Now this is pod racing.”

Instead of using the fear of prison to dissuade criminals, we should start making them eat Tide Pods.

That would be a real crime detergent.

What does a mermaid use to wash her fin?

Tide.

Are people eating Tide Pods because Trump is president?

Or is Trump president because so many people are willing to eat Tide Pods?

There is an upside to eating Tide Pods....

It takes the skid marks out of your underwear.

Now that the tide pod fad is dying down

lets move onto the cotton candy in the attic.

I don't know why people think eating Tide Pods is dangerous...

I mean, you could start today and eat them for the rest of your life.

I haven't seen jokes about Tide Pods in awhile

They must have got cleaned out

When an eel bites your thigh at the beach (at low tide)

That's a moray

There are flat earthers, there are tide pod eaters,

And there are people who want the first two to be the same.

Was this whole Superbowl a Tide ad?

I've seen stranger things.

OMG! We have another teen that took the "Tide Challenge"!

Quick, call the podiatrist!

Tide is fully embracing their new consumers with their new Tide Pod containers...

They just changed their “active ingredients” to “nutrition facts”.

I feel bad for all the people eating Tide pods.

They haven't figured out that Cascade actionpacs taste way better.

Recent reports have shown that Tide Pods can be used to clean your bathtub or jacuzzi...

Since they're already acting like chlorine on our gene pool

Kids these days are eating tide pods? I mean I used to snort lines of tide...

but I'm all clean now

My mom caught me lying about smuggling Tide pods out of the house instead of doing the laundry

So I had to come clean

Two ants, Jack and Rose, are sitting on a leaf on water. Suddenly, a small tide comes and upturns the leaf. Only the girl ant sinks…

…because the other is a buoy ant

Letter to Tide from beloved consumer

Dear Tide

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have!
One evening about a month ago, while at home, I spilled some red wine on my new white shirt. My wife started to berate me about my clumsiness and how expensive the shirt was. That I was stupid, couldn't even hold a glass rig...

What did the sea say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide!

Why did the fish swim across the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide.

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach

He had no arms and no legs. Three women, from England , Wales , and Scotland , were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The English woman said, 'Have you ever had a hug?' The man said, 'No,' so she gave him a hug and walked on. The Welsh woman said, 'Have you ever had a kiss?' The man ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Emergency supplies.

Three friends decide to go on a luxury cruise around the world. On the third night, the ship suffer's catastrophic damage in a storm and begins to sink. The three jump overboard and cling to debris to stay afloat. The next morning, they awake to find themselves washed up on a nearby small island. Th...

Two traders go to the beach.

They lay their beach towels on the sand and while one watches the boats out on the water, the other one decides to take a nap.

After a while, the first one notices the waves come closer and closer to their towels. He says to his friend :

\- Hey... the tide's rising, we should move furt...

I spilled laundry detergent all over myself and the basket of clothes I was carrying. There was nothing I could do.

My hands were tide.

The Cool Clam Club

Deep beneath the ocean there is an exclusive club known for only having the coolest of clams in their midst. This was called the Cool Clam Club.


Now, the Cool Clam Club was known across the seven seas as one of the most prestigious clubs known to seakind due to the fact that their initia...

What does a Notre Dame fan do after his team beats the Roll Tide?

Turn off the xbox and go to bed...

What did the gang of dolphins say to the orca?

"Whale, whale, whale... Look what the tide brought in..."

Why did the chicken cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get if you cross a donkey with and onion?

Well 99 times out of hundred you get an onion with grey floppy ears, but that 100th time-- when the moon is full and the tides are just right-- you get a perfect piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

Why did CSI Alabama fail?

its hard to make a csi show when everyone shares DNA, and nobody has dental records.

ROLL TIDE.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Genie

One day a man is walking on Malibu beach when he found a genie lamp. He rubbed it, and a genie appeared. The genie said "I will grant you one wish. Anything in the world is yours!" The man sits at the spot he found the genie and thought. And thought. And thought. He told the genie "I don't want anyt...

A hurricane named Florence and no "Aunt Flo" jokes?

Hope there's no red tide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist is backpacking through the highlands of Scotland, and he stops at a pub to get a drink...

the only people in there are a bartender and an old man nursing a beer. And he orders a pint, and they sit in silence for a while. And suddenly the old man turns to him and goes, "You see this bar? I built this bar with my bare hands from the finest wood in the county. Gave it more love and care tha...

Walked into a dry cleaners the other day and I was amazed.

The chap behind the counter had fluorescent blue gel like hands. To my further amazement, he was using them as detergent on the clothes.

I said, “excuse me sir, may I ask you to hold my bag whilst I take a photo of your appendages?! I feel like the internet would be amazed at this”
...

"Son, what would happen if neither team won the Super Bowl?"

"It's a Tide ad."

Why do you want divorce?

*Judge :* Why do you want divorce?

*Petitioner:* My wife asks me to peel off Garlic, cut Onions, wash dishes

*Judge:* What's the problem in this? Just warm up the Garlic, it will be easy to peel it. Before cutting Onions just chill them in the refrigerator and then while cutting them t...

I, an Orca, tried to warn my brother countless times.

He just had to eat that family of dolphins in shallow water.


Well, the idiot beached himself.


If I told him once I told him a thousand times.


“Don’t eat Tide Pods.”

Thank you God

for giving me food to sustain my body, TidePods to clean my clothes, & wisdom to know the difference.

back in my day we use to drink bleach straight

boy have the tides turned

An economist, a chemist, and a physicist are stranded on an island with nothing to eat but a can of beans.

The chemist says, "Hey, there's a small tide pool of salt water over there. If we set the can in it the salinity will cause the can to rust/disintegrate and we can eat the beans." The physicist laughed and said, " You moron, by the time the salt eats through the can, we will have died of hunger. We...

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Three men are walking along the beach...

Three men are walking along the beach of a tropical island when they encounter a lone mermaid. The mermaid seems friendly, and the men are amazed at seeing this beautiful woman, so they strike up a conversation with her.

Eventually, the first man asks "Have you ever been kissed
before?"...

Father: wow son you're really dressed up! What's that around your neck?

Son: it's a Tide Ad

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