UPJOKE
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Want to know how to make a joke fall flat?

Spill something wrong in the punchline

What was the only Nintendo series to really fall flat?

Paper Mario

It was so embarrassing for me that my jokes always fall flat, that I finally asked a professional comedian for help.

The guy is a genius, I'm not embarrassed anymore.

C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. So D comes in and heads for the bathr...

9/11 jokes never hit right

They always fall flat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are the flat earthers always at the butt end of a joke?

Cos all their arguments fall flat.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Blond joke

Why don’t blonds waterski?????






Because every time their pussy gets wet they fall flat on their back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A drunk looks at his watch...

A man, who has fattened the coffers of the local pub this night, looks at his watch and says, "Well, it's about time I go home, and spend some quality time with the wife."

He gets out of his chair, and can't even take two steps without falling on his face. "Don't worry!" he yells, "I can jus...

Hi funny people I need your help.

I have a credit card that is made of metal and is very heavy. People frequently comment on how heavy it is and I have been trying to come up with a witty response for nearly two years now. I've tried, I'm hard on things, I think they are concerned I would wear it out and I take spending seriously bu...

A long time ago, I thought of a soda joke.

I'd share it with you, but I'm afraid I think it'd fall flat.

Robert walks into the bar down the street from his house...

He proceeds to drink his fill and is quite drunk, tries to stand up, gets his feet and proceeds to fall face first onto the floor. Jake the barkeep says "Robert can I help you get home?" No No Robert replies, my wife will be home in the morning and I need to get home so she doesn't she suspect any...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some Christians, Jews and Muslims decide to settle once and for all whose God is real

They decide to each send someone to jump from a cliff while shouting their God's name to prove it and if the jumper survives then their God is indeed real


Muslims decide to go first then the Jews followed finally by Christians.


The lone Muslim man selected by his people stands...

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