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Eggnog Jokes

I think my friend worships eggnog.

Because we were having a discussion about religion, and he said he identifies as an "eggnog-stic".

Christian people are boycotting eggnog this year

They heard if you drink it, you become eggnostic

I went to the liqour store to look for eggnog vodka or figgy pudding bourbon ...

But there's just no Christmas spirits anymore

Using a cinnamon stick to stir your eggnog isn't a religious practice.

It's egg-nog-stick.

Last December I had too much eggnog and ended up sleeping with a ghost.

I really got into the Christmas spirit.

What do you call a person who doesn't believe in Santa Clause?

Eggnog-stic.

The Christmas Elf

A Christmas elf walks into a bar and orders an eggnog. "What brings you to town?" the bartender asks. "I'm taking music classes at the community college. Santa requires it of all the Christmas elves now," the elf says. "It's supposed to improve our rapping skills."

What do you call someone who loves Christmas but doubts the existence of God?

Eggnog-stic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've always hated going home for Christmas ever since I stopped going to church

Every year I get so much shit from my relatives, all of them ask me why I'm not religious anymore.

But then there's my sweet little old Granny, she asks me every year "Why are you an Atheist?",

And I tell her every year, "I'm not an Atheist, I'm Eggnog-stic!".

Three men die and are at the pearly gates ...

St Peter explains to them that, while in the old days God demanded that only Christians who closely studied the Bible could get into Heaven, times have changed and requirements have been relaxed. These days, you only need to know the basics.
St Peter turns to the first man and says, "if you can...

Jesus was worried about drugs plaguing the world.

Jesus was worried about drugs plaguing the world. In an effort to solve this dilemma, he decided that a few apostles would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Two days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to retur...

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