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Moonshine Jokes

I just broke up with my moonshiner girfriend

But I love her still

Never date a moonshiners daughter...

She only wants to make you liquor

She was only a moonshine-maker's daughter...

... but I loved her still.

She was only a lowly moonshine maker...

But he loved her still.

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A Redneck Wedding

Some time ago when I was hitchhiking through the deep South, a fella who gave me a ride invited me to a redneck wedding. Now this was a proper wedding, two days of tractor pulls, shooting and falling down drunk off moonshine, before we were finally assembled in the chapel for the big ceremony o...

Why is the dark side of the moon dry?

Because the other side has all the moonshine

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Mountain Moonshine

Tom worked at a popular bar in New York City and had to deal with a lot of people on a daily basis. To get away from everyone he decided to take a vacation far out west to find peace and solitude; a place where no one would bother him.

He rented a cabin deep in the wilds of Montana, w...

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I met a man who claimed to be able to make moonshine in his .

He said it was the best moonshine he ever tasted and I absolutely had to try it. I thought "it would make for a pretty interesting story". still...

Two hillbillies

were sipping moonshine on the front porch when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.

“I’m a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery”, announced hillbilly #1.

“Do wut?”, asked hillbilly #2

“Send my lawn out to git mowed.”

When I was young man I met a girl in Tennessee turned out she was a moonshiners daughter. That was a long time ago..

But I love her still.

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The police knocked on the door of a small Appalachian farmhouse.

"Good evening sir. We have received a report that you have been distilling illegal moonshine!"

"Me?! Moonshining?! That is a lie! Never have I been so insulted in my entire life! I've never done anything like that! These are evil rumours that somebody has spread! - And I'll tell you ...

Tom Cruise is making a movie about distilling moonshine during prohibition

It’s called Whisky Business

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A guy walks into a bar without money…

He asks the bartender if he can get a free drink. The bartender kindly replies there are no free drinks on offer, but he could actually try the challenge and win free drinks for the rest of his life…

Naturally, the guy is interested; ‘So tell me about that challenge!’

The bartender exp...

What do you call a castrated male chicken that runs an illegal moonshine business?

Al Capon

A man is hitchhiking on a lonely road.

After a good while an old beat up truck stops and picks him up and after a couple of minutes of small talk the driver ask the man if he wants some booze. Sure he says and gets handed a bottle. When he tries to drink it the smell of bad moonshine overwhelms him and he declined the drink. The old man ...

I've invented a solar-powered still!

It turns sunshine into moonshine.

Credit: Quirk.

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An old redneck goes to the doctor

He's been feeling unwell since a while, and moonshine doesn't help.
The doc examines him, then gives him a prescription for suppositories.
"Have 3 of those a day, and come back next week to see how it goes! " he says.
A week later, the old redneck comes back and complains he feels eve...

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A retired stock broker moves to the country

He buys a large plot of land and is living by himself for a few months when he gets a knock on the door.
The man answers the door and a large country boy is standing there.

"Muh name is Bubba, I'm your neighbor with the farm across from ya"

The man is excited as he hasn't really ...

Two hillbillies run into each other one afternoon...

the first one asks, "Hey bubba, do you want another bottle of that moonshine I hooked you up with last week?" Bubba says,"Hell no! That stuff had me blowing chunks all night long!!"
Puzzled, the 1st hillbilly says, "That's a tried and true family recipe. I've heard of lots of people getting ple...

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focus

Two poor country girls are broke and decide to do some modeling. Cherylynn has posed for the photographer before so she knows the process.

The photog invites them into his studio and offers them a drink. Darlene,being nervous, asks Cherylynn "whass that there in that jug?". The reply is ...

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A man walks into a bar and sees a giant jar of $20 notes...

"What's with the jar?" the man asks the bartender.

"That's for the bar challenge, you put $20 in and if you complete three tasks you get the lot."

"What are the three tasks?" the customer asks, intrigued.

"First you need to drink a gallon of homemade moonshine, the strongest we...

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A man walks into a bar

And orders a few drinks. As the night goes on, he notices a sign on the wall.

It reads FREE DRINKS FOR LIFE! TAKE ON THE BAYOU CHALLENGE!

The man asks the bartender about the sign, and the bartender replies.

It’s a challenge to see who the manliest man in the bayou is. If you...

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A young boy and his cranky grandfather ...

... are sitting on the front porch. The grandfather picks up his jug of moonshine and takes a big swig from it.

The boy asks, "Can I have a sip of that, Grandpa?"

"Can your touch your ?" the grandfather asks.

"No..." says the boy

"Then you're too young to drink li...

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A joke translated from Russian

A young man goes to a collective farm to work as a vet. The chairman of the farm greets him and tells him he already has three vets.

"But I'm special, Comrade Chairman," says the young man, "I understand the language of the animals."

"No ," says the chairman, "why don't you show me...

My favorite Finnish joke

Pekka is at a party in a tall building in the great city of Helsinki, which is quite different from the small timber cabin in the forest he is used to as a lumberjack. Pekka is enjoying the party, but after a few bottles of the moonshine he brought, Pekka finds himself in the need of a toilet. He as...

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A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian

get caught in a storm while sailing and crash into an island. The island is inhabited by cannibals. They're given 3 tasks and if they fail at anyone of them, they'll be eaten.
First they have to drink a bottle of moonshine, then they have to go into a tiger cave and kill a tiger and lastly they ...

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I was walking through Tennessee.

I was walking through Tennessee, and I came upon a cabin. There was a man sitting on the porch with a big bottle in front of him. He called over to me, "Hey boy, get over here." Pointing to the bottle, he asked, "You know what this is?" "I don't know." "It's moonshine you idiot. Why don't you tak...

A man walks into...

a bar, and immediately walks up to the bar. He notices a large jar of cash placed on the bar that is oozing 20 dollar bills. He asks the bartender what it is for. To which the bartender replies; "It is the challenge jar. If you're feelin' froggy you can place a 20 in there, and I'll give you three c...

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web
The president was tweeting as the market went red
The government was closed because of a wall
In hopes that Mexico, would pay for it all

The people were nestled, their head in their hands
While visi...

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A man is sick and tired of his busy life in the city

So he packs up everything he owns, sells his house, and buys a little place way out in the countryside in the middle of nowhere. He spends a couple of months peacefully on his own; he gets up every morning, catches some fish from the river running near his house, tends to his vegetable garden, and s...

So I was walking through rural Georgia when...

...I passed a little lady with white hair and deep wrinkles sitting on her front porch who waved to me. I decided to amble up, say hello, and see if I could determine the secret to her longevity.

She told me her name was Ida and that she'd lived in this house her whole life, just as her par...
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