A Democrat and a Republican were walking along the beach when they spotted a bottle.

They picked it up and a genie popped out.

"I will grant you each one wish, whatever you desire", said the genie.

The Democrat said, "I would like for my fellow liberals and I to live the life and exist under the form of government we believe in!" POOF! All the Democrats in America were...

Dark humor is a lot like food in Venezuela

Most people don't get it

How do you make a sandwich in Venezuela?

Put your meat coupon between two bread coupons.

What do they the call rapper 50 Cent in Venezuela?

479 Billion Bolivars.

What did the people of Venezuela use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity.

What do Venezuela and Disneyland have in common?

They have long food lines

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hungry boy arrives home from school in Venezuela.

He says: "Mom, what do we have for lunch"?

She answers "Nothing, my son, nothing".

The boy turns his head and suspiciously stares at their pet parrot, and says: "Mom, what about some cooked parrot with rice?"

She answers: "We don't have rice, my son".

"Can't we eat the pa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At the Custom

There is this young boy living in the border of Venezuela. He is a well known trouble maker and he is well known with the police and the custom officers.

One day, the boy is crossing from Colombia to Venezuela on a bicycle with 2 bags of sand at the back.

The custom guard know this boy...

While visiting England, Trump is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Teresa May and says, "Madam, Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

...

A blonde takes part in a game show

[Disclaimer: I don't know whether this counts as a joke, if not please tell me which subreddit would be suitable, 'cause it's actually a pretty fun "story"]

First question: how long did the Hundred Years War last?

a) 99 years

b) 116 years

c) 100 years

d) 150 years<...

National Hell

A Venezuelan and American arrive in Hell at the same time, Hell is short-staffed, and so they have orientation together. They are told part of their punishment is eating buckets of human excrement. Normally they would be segregated by nationality, but since they are together now they can each choose...

Shortages

A man walks into a store in a town in Venezuela and surveys the empty shelves.

"Wow! You don't have *any* meat?"

"No," replied the clerk. "We don't have any fish. It's the store across the street that doesn't have any meat."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some translated Italian jokes on the European immigrant crisis

Venezuela offers refuge to 20k immigrants. *Now I want to see how you even get here.*

France suggests bombing Syria. To drive out the last refugees.

Clashes on the border between Hungary and Serbia. If I were an Austrian archduke, I would stay home.

Merkel: "Refugees will change...

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