UPJOKE
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Elon Musk and Bill Gates combined their enormous wealth and power to develop the most effective penis enlargement pill ever created.

They're calling it Elongates.

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Elon Musk is being accused of sexual harassment…

I believe it, TSLA share price has been f**king me in the a$$ for months!

What would Elon Musk do if he bought Madagascar?

Change its name to MadaElectricCar

I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal

Elongate would be really drawn out.

Elon Musk has been making bad decisions since getting his hairplugs

He needs toupee

What is Elons Musk favorite snack?

Mars bars.

I don't understand why Elon Musk wants to buy Twitter for $40bn

You can get it for free from the app store.

The good news is Elon Musk is turning Twitter' headquarters into a homeless shelter

The bad news is, it can only house 280 characters, or less

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What kind of balls does Elon Musk have?

Teslacles.

What is Elon Musk's favourite keyboard shortcut?

ctrl + space + x

Did you hear Elon Musk opened a storefront down at the mall?

"Space for Rent"

If Elon Musk's space company establishes a Mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance,

she'd be your....
Space x.

Tesla founder Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange

You’d think he was from mad-at-gas-car.

What does Elon Musk and a Tesla have in common?

They both have a hard time staying in their lane.

Imagine if Elon Musk got married to Bill Gates and took his name...

Yeah no, you're right... 'Elon Gates' is a stretch.

I sure hope Elon musk’s $50,000 house isn’t part of another cover-up scandal

Elongate would be very drawn out.

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Why are Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Richard Branson so excited for space?

They’ve fucked almost everyone on our planet and want one last shot at Uranus.

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Elon Musk wants to start a university called the ‘Texas Institute of Technology & Science and an affiliate called Austin School of Science

To be known as TITS and ASS

Elon Musk and Bill Gates had two children

One was Elon Gates, who became the tallest man alive. The other was Bill Musk and he smelled like money.

Elon Musk and his girlfriend have broken up.

Told her he needed some space.

Elon Musk wants to send people to mars

I think we can all agree that he is the most creative serial killer of all time.

Have you heard? Melinda Gates, Mackenzie Scott, and Justine Musk are starting their own rocket company!

They are calling it Space-Ex’s and their rockets are guaranteed to go pren-up up up.

Did you hear that Elon Musk is planning to buy the entire island of Madagascar?

He’s planning to rename it Madaelectriccar.

Elon Musk and Bill Gates have decided to partner in a joint venture to invent a medication to overcome erectile dysfunction.

They have decided to name the new drug 'Elongates'.

Superman would have hated Elon Musk as much as Lex Luthor..

because Elon loves his Crypto.

Teslas do not have “New Car” smell…

They have an Elon Musk

Melinda Gates should keep her surname, marry Elon Musk then Elon must change his surname.

Then his name would be 'Elon Gates'

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Breaking News: Elon Musk & Bill Gates have joined hands

to make a Penis Enhancer.....They will call it
ELONGATES

Elon Musk rewatches The Matrix.

Realizes that Neo is the good guy.

Elon Musk has been captured by a fellow billionaire and is now trapped in a medieval rack.

He is to henceforth be known as Elon Gates.

Instead of buying twitter for $43 billion

Elon Musk could add another $8 billion and clear the external debt of Sri Lanka.
He can rename it Ceylon Musk.

Why did Elon Musk go broke?

Because his car insurance rates were astronomical.

What is Elon Musk's favourite band?

Thirty Seconds to Mars

Before Elon Musk got into electric cars...

... he was plain old Lon Musk

What happens to Musk when he approaches a black hole?

He gets Elongated

Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars?

Because if he chose SpaceY he’d land on 14 year old boys.

What did Elon Musk say to Grimes before they made X Æ A-12?

i 1 2 ½ 6

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What do Elon Musk and the Nazis have in common?

They both give children serial numbers.

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Elon Musk says he is going to pull Tesla out of California

Never trust a guy with 6 kids that says he is going to pull out

People say Elon Musk is a mad scientist. Do you think he relates to Dr. Jekyll?

Because I've always heard he benefited from having a part Hyde.

When Elon Musk converts to Islam

He'd be Elon Mosque.

Given Elon Musk is changing different job titles within his company, he should rename his "astronauts" to

Musk-egee Airmen

What is Elon Musk's favorite country?

Mad-at-gas-car

Why would Elon musk take a chicken into space?

To make spaceggs

Elon Musk, Cristiano Ronaldo, a mailman, and the Dalai Lama are in a plane when suddenly they enter some extremely rough turbulence.

The pilot enters the room and says “Bad news, the plane is damaged too bad to fix. We have maybe 5 minutes before we’re going to have to abandon the plane.” Unfortunately, when they grab the parachutes, they see that one of them has an enormous rip through the middle and is unusable, which leaves f...

Last week Elon Musk surpassed Jeff Bezos as richest man in the world.

This week, Tom Brady's referees surpass Elon Musk as the richest men in the world

Where's Elon Musk from?

Mad at gas car..

Source: @anisskuniss on tiktok

Why does Elon Musk want so many satellites?

He’s transmitten with them.

Elon Musk has launched a new cologne!

Space-Axe Body Spray™

Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?

It gives him gas

Elon Musk’s tunnel-digging venture just got approved for expansion...

Even more boring than before!

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Elon Musk has Tested his New Nerolink Brain Implant on Pigs

No word yet if it has successfully stopped them from shooting black people.

Elon Musk: Did you move my car?

Team: Yeah.

Elon: Into the parking space, like I asked?

Team: Parking!?

What’s Elon Musk’s favourite comedy?

Bambi

What do Bill Gates and Elon Musk have in common?

They broke windows live on stage.

Which African country is Elon Musk from?

Madatgascar

The Court has decided Elon Musk will be Granted Sole Custody of Child X Æ A-12 After Divorce from Wife Grimes

Since he filed for and was awarded the patent back in March of 2019

What's the difference between Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg?

One's a human trying to conquer Mars and the other is an alien trying to conquer Earth.

Note: This joke isn't mine, I heard it somewhere but I forgot where, if it's already been posted send me the link and I'll remove it.

There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

What did Elon Musk say to the SpaceX crew before taking off?

>!Dracarys!<

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Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates and Elon Musk are golfing together

Out of nowhere, Bill puts one finger in his ear and points another at his mouth and starts talking. When he’s done, he explains that he has a microchip in both fingers to act as a phone. Not long after that, Elon starts talking but to seemingly no one. When he’s finished he explains that his microch...

Elon Musk unveils pig with chip in its brain...

...it was from the Kenosha County Sheriff's Department.

Elon Musk announces he will visit ISS till Covid-19 stabilises.

And nobody even assumed this is a joke.

Elon Musk would never have to worry if he lost his son X

He could just go to a mathematician to find him.

Elon Musk is reported to have written a short joke on his Crew Dragon rocket

I guess the real joke will be in the comets.

If Elon Musk released a line of fragrances they would probably call it..

Tesla for Men or something like that

Due to spaghettification, if Elon Musk flew his shuttle through a Black Hole...

he would become Elon Gated.

Elon Musk caused a major scandal today by going on a bizarre rant about Coronavirus.

I hope Elon-gate is not too drawn out.

Man, you gotta hand it to Elon Musk…

He knows how to dispose of a dead body in style.

Elon Musk has just announced the name of his next child

8=D. It's pronounced Chode

What do you call Elon Musk when he’s been to the gym a lot?

Muskular

I hope Elon Musk never gets involved in a scandal because...

Everyone who searches for actual news on Elongate will only get 50 pages of a reposted joke from Reddit.

What's the worst way to break up with Elon Musk?

By saying *"I need some space"*

Why couldnt Elon Musk lift the box?

Its was too falcon heavy
















I'm sorry

Elon Musk was forced to resign and King Julien took over

They needed someone who was more passionate about electric cars and who could beat King Julien? I mean everyone knows King Julien was in the “Mad at Gas Cars” movies.

Why couldn't Elon Musk enter his house?

Because his door was locked and he left the keys in his car.

Elon Musk launched a cow to the moon. It landed so hard that a quarter of the moon got annihilated.

Moo.

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How many reddit users does it take to replace a lightbulb?

1 to make a post about it,
4 to mention that its the wrong forum,
1 to post it to the right forum,
7 to suggest op should post it to the electronics forum,
2 to post it to the electronics forum,
1 mod to delete the second post,

3 to suggest an image post would have gathered mor...

Did you hear about the scandal with Elon Musk embezzling money for his surgery to make him taller?

Look it up, it's called Elongate.

Over the last month, Elon Musk seems to be embroiled in one scandal after another.

Elon-Gate seems to be a long drawn out affair.

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