I was drinking my milkshake on a cliff and thought to myself...

Wow, this is ledge ‘n dairy!

How does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes?

With the finest ingredients.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I like my women like I like my milkshake

Not at all. I’m lactose intolerant and gay

Did you hear why Mike Tyson stopped ordering milkshakes?

They made him thick.

What is it called when you stab a milkshake?


(credit to my brother)

What's the difference between a thick milkshake and a runny milkshake?

About ten minutes

A blonde goes into a library and, speaking clearly and loudly, orders a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian rolls his eyes and says, exasperated, "This is a library, ma'am."
So the blonde leans in and whispers, "Sorry. I'll have a burger, fries, and a milkshake."

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard

& they're like "How did your milkshake develop a gravitational pull that was gender specific?"

What do you call a mythical milkshake?


(credits to my friend Edward Feng for this really dumb pun)

What do you call an Irish milkshake?

Mashed potatoes...

What do you get when you motorboat a woman who breastfeeds?

A milkshake

Master list of dad jokes

Why shouldn’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll “Let It Go”!

What do you call cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it

What do you get when a witch goes to the beach? A sand-witch!

Where do cows go on Friday ni...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

Why is America the largest importer of coffee?

So they can flavor their milkshakes.

Cow jokes

What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake
What do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef
What do you call a cow with 3 legs? lean beef

A College Dilemma

I recently discovered that I'm allergic to dairy and as a result I've missed milkshakes terribly.

Today I decided to see what kind of damage I could do with chocolate almond milk and frozen bananas.

I live in an apartment complex (the dorms), and for some reason while I was doing this ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I think i'm lactose intolerant

I've had 6 milkshakes today and feel like crap.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My Collection of Cow Jokes

Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?

A: Lean Beef


Q: What do you call a cow with only one leg?

A: Steak


Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground Beef


Q: What do you call a young famous redneck...

My cow got Parkinson's

Now she only produces milkshakes.

A lady walks into an ice cream shop.

"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man...

So a man owns a pet giraffe...

...and one day decides that he is peckish. So he goes down to his local McDonalds, giraffe in tow. He decides that he will have a hamburger; he buys one for the giraffe too. Then decides he's still hungry, so he has some fries. Again, the giraffe gets the same. The man then decides he is thirsty, an...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Two guys are lost in the desert.

They're starving and dying of thirst. Off in the distance, they see a large trailer, surrounded by trees, so they start walking towards it.

The first guy can't make it up the stairs, so he sits down outside in the shade. The second guy walks in and sees shelves upon shelves of food and water...