UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A painter falls into a tank and drowns

A painter was doing a contract for a brewing company to paint the brewing shop. He sets his ladder over this open tank filled with 3000L of beer.

He didn’t secure his ladder properly, and so it slips and he falls into this massive tank. Only one option, DRINK!! So he chugs and chugs trying t...

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach.

A biologist, a physicist, and a chemist go to the beach for the first time.


The biologist is amazed at the birds, the seaweed, the fish. He goes into the water for a closer look. Pretty soon the water is over his head. He drowns.


The physicist is mesmerized by the waves. T...

what do people do if a furry nearly drowns

give them furs-taid


yeah its not that good ik

If one synchronised swimmer drowns...

...do the others have to as well?

A Catholic priest is drowning in the Ocean.

A Catholic priest is drowning in the Ocean. A lifeguard swims past and asks the priest: "Do you need help?"
Priest replies: "Don't worry. God will save me."
A few minutes go by and another life guard swims past. He says: "Here, grab my hand I can help you get back to shore"
Priest rep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hurricane is headed for a small town. The news says that everyone needs to evacuate. A religious man in the town says "I'm not going to leave my home, God will protect me".

The hurricane hits, and it's bad. There's mass flooding, and the police come to the man's door and tell him he needs to leave. The man says "I'm not afraid, God will protect me." The police give up and leave him.

The water rises in his house, so the man is forced to climb onto his roof. Just...

There is a man drowning 100 feet from shore and is crying for help.......

A Democrat shows up and throws him 200 feet of rope. The excess rope weighs the victim down and he drowns.

A Republican shows up and throws out 50 feet of rope and demands that the victim take some responsibility for himself and swim to the rope. He can’t and drowns.

A libertarian show...

Guy goes to the beach during storm and nearly drowns...

Lifeguard rescues him and says "the hell were you thinking?!"

Guy says "they were *waving* me in."

3 women are on a ship that’s run out of fuel

There’s an island in the distance so the brunette decides to make a swim for it. She swims 100metres but drowns.

The redhead decides to have a go. She swims 500metres but drowns.

The blonde has no choice. She gets in the water, swims 1 mile and gets within 100metres of the island. She ...

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