After attempting to climb Everest and failing, John has severe frostbite, hypothermia and goes into a coma.

After a lengthy and dangerous mountaintop rescue he's rushed to the nearest hospital, where after several days he finally wakes and is greeted by the Nepalese doctor.

Sir, I have bad news and good news. John, ever the optimist asks for the good news first.

Okay, the good news is the ...

I was defending myself after a crime spree by explaining that I had hypothermia and turned into a superconductor.

I couldn't resist.

What do you call an ugly old woman who dies of hypothermia?

A snow crone.

What’s the difference between a collier and a kid with hypothermia?

Ones a coal miner and the others a cold minor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In 1946, Sean Connery joined the Royal Navy...

In 1946, Sean Connery joined the Royal Navy. During his time there, he was in charge of a covert operation to spy on a Russian military installation which was directly next to a small lake.

He was in charge of a small team of highly trained soldiers, a few locals recruited to help with the op...

I once had to skip class because I had hypothermia.

I was too cool for school.

I once heard that hypothermia

Is a pretty cool way to go

The boss of Dulux paints has died of hypothermia while trekking across the Antarctic

Medics say he needed a second coat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Wise Rabbi

A nazi once approached a Jewish rabbi.
"How are you jews so clever? Tell me or I'll kill you!" he demanded.
The rabbi stroked his beard. "Ok, I'll tell you, but first you must become more spiritual. Go and fast for 40 days. Each day, immerse yourself in freezing water."

40 days later, ...

So, you don't like hypothermia?

All the cool kids are getting it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Florida man dies and goes to a waiting area for his final destination.

As he awaits, he spots his best friend within the crowd and cannot believe it. He approaches his buddy and starts a conversation

“Cooch, is that you buddy? Holy shit! It is you! What are you doing here?”

“Hey Willie” says the man with barely any expression on his face.

“What ar...

What’s the coolest way to die?

Hypothermia

A russian village has a tradition...

...where each year they they hold a very unusal contest, that consists of 4 challenges: First, the contestants must down a bottle of vodka, then they must swim across an icy lake, third they must shake hands with a chained up wild bear on the other side, and finally they have to run to the closest v...

Two men meet in hell...

Person 1: You seem like a nice guy. How did you die?

Person 2: Hypothermia from staying in the fridge for too long. You?

Person 1: I wanted to suprise my wife by coming early from a buisness trip than I told her.
When I arrived I was sure she cheated on me, I could hear sound comin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two girls die and go to Heaven...

They meet up there, realizing they know each other and are surprised to see the other one dead.

"Wow! What happened to you?" Asks the firs one.

"Hypothermia.. It was soo cold, but after a while I just wanted to sleep and looks like I am never waking up. How about you?"

"Heart at...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men died and went to hell

Guy A asked Guy B how he died. Guy B said “long exposure to the cold, hypothermia. How about you?”.

Guy A said “i decided to come home early to surprise my wife, but i found her in the bed naked and there were guy clothes on the floor. I confronted her but she refused to admit she was cheatin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man, a woman, and a skunk.

A husband and wife were returning from visiting relatives out in the country one cold and wintery night, when they came upon an adolescent skunk that appeared injured in the road.

The wife insisted that they stop and render aid to the skunk.

Against his wishes the husband stops and pi...

What do homeless people get for Christmas?

Hypothermia.

What’s blue and f*cks old people?

Hypothermia.

A blond starts working for the RCMP

As part of her job, she sometimes goes out on hiking trails to see if anyone needs help. One day, her boss calls her in to talk with her.

Her boss tells her, "We have been getting a lot of people saying you saved them from hypothermia. More than anyone else in the RCMP! We would like to know;...

Honest Mistake.

One night the heating in a hospital ward was accidentally turned off and as a result a few patients suffered hypothermia and ended up in intensive care. The next day..........

Head Nurse: Why did no one realise that the patients were freezing?, the people in the ward were old and infirm, they...

The story of the freezing kayaker

Once there was a man who liked to kayak during the winter, paddling along looking at the beautiful snow-covered scenery. Of course, it would get very cold out, so he would get very cold too.

One day he had an idea about how to keep warm. He sawed his kayak down the middle lengthwise and str...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's blue and fucks grannies?

Hypothermia.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.