E-commerce company Alibaba Group announced that they are developing a password manager. Jack Ma has revealed that it will be open-source, a first for the company.

The product will tentatively be named OpenSesame.

I'm developing a gun that shoots east european stew.

I call it the Goulashnikov.

Microsoft is developing a new Windows version for Texas

It has no Cancel/Abort options and doesn't use the Screenshot word.

Did I tell you the story of Yogi developing a stutter?

It bears repeating.

I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts

I'm going to call it leave me the fuh cologne

Why was the plant developing photos?

It needed to photosynthesize

With the massive downturn in international travel, aircraft manufacturer Fokker has started developing planes for the military. Their latest is a small, super stealthy reconnaissance plane that is almost undetectable!

It's called the Sneaky Little Fokker.

I’m worried I’m developing a fetish for architecture

but I’ll cross that bridge when I come on it.

Why are photographers less skilled than they used to be?

They're not developing.

Therapy for my dad is like education for developing nations

It will solve most of their problems

I‘m developing a phobia of german sausage

I fear the wurst

They are developing a brand new fan technology

It's so cool

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A scientist was put in charge of developing new methods of assassination for the CIA.

He came up with several ideas, and the director of the CIA came down to see them demonstrated.

He showed off ballpoint pen dart-guns and poisoned bubble gum, but nothing seemed to impress the director. Finally, he stood up to leave.

"I'm going to go take a piss, and then I'm headed bac...

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With the spread of Coronavirus, many around the world appear to be developing Constipation:

Doctors say it is not a symptom of the disease, but rather an effect of the panic being incited by the disease. One doctor even proclaimed, "People seem to be Scared Shitless!"

Did you hear about the engineer who liked gardening?

he was developing latest hedge cutting technology

Apple is developing a submarine.

“Sink different”

Can do attitude

Scientists are developing a hybrid cantaloupe/honey dew. To succeed, they’ll need to have a can dew attitude.

My dream is to create a bioengineering startup that solves world hunger by developing a self-replicating noodle

Laugh now, but one day you're going to see my Copy Pasta everywhere.

I'm developing an app that lets you customize the look and feel of 4chan when browsing.

It's called 4skin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If being sexually active reduces the chance of developing prostate cancer, guess what I am doing tonight?

Developing cancer.

I heard Apple are planning on developing a computerized car

Unfortunately, they're having trouble installing windows

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Circumsized men have a higher chance of developing clairvoyance.

When you lose one sense, the other senses make up for it.

Foreskin lost, foresight gained.

NBC is developing a reality show where flat earthers try to travel to the edge of the world.

The finale isn’t a cliffhanger.

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

Apple is developing a product—invented by Bart Simpson—that cleans your vehicle.

The iCaroomba

Me: Dad, to be frank your years of neglect towards us has left us scarred for life and incapable of developing sincere and loving relationships

Dad: ...

Me: ...

Dad: HI FRANK!!!

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A tech company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.

A company spokesperson declared this is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their boobs without listening to them.

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A well-dressed man, complete with top hat and monocle, walks into a bar.

The bartender, who has seen it all, pours the dapper gentleman two fingers of their top-shelf 25-year-old scotch. Just as the man begins nursing the peaty, smoky booze, a rabbi, a priest, and a minister all walk into the bar, arguing about how to prove the existence of their respective Gods.

...

Marvel are developing a new super hero who has the ability to remotely edit people’s DNA.

He will be called “Gene Hackman”

My employees are developing weaponized crocodiles.

I told them to make it snappy.

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