Why did Draco Malfoy's funeral service take place outside?

Because he hated grief indoors.

Did you hear about the new Silence of the Lambs sequel that's set to take place in Newfoundland?

It's going to be called Ewes Be Quiet.

Jesus enters the restaurant where the last supper is going to take place. Jesus: “table for 26, please” Waiter: “I count only 13 people”

Jesus: “Yeah, but we are all going to sit on the same side”

The Kentucky State Fair will take place this year, but will be closed to the public

Doesn’t seem fair to me

Halley's Comet

From: General Manager


To: Departmental Heads


On Friday evening at 5 p.m., Halley's Comet will be visible in this area-an event which occurs only once every 76 years. Please have the employees assemble in the park area outside the building and I will explain this rare phen...

A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp ... [long]

A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp.

He was urinating on one of the camp’s flowerbeds when he was arrested and given a punishment to move a pile of some 1000 bricks from a shed to a nearby site on the camp where some construction ...

Survey Report

If men behaved after marriage the way they behave before marriage, half the divorces wouldn’t take place.

If women behaved before marriage the way they behave after marriage, half the marriages wouldn’t take place!

Breaking News - Devon and Cornwall Music Festival

The Devon and Cornwall Music Festival due to take place this weekend has had to be cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first, The Jam or Cream

Why did Capitalist Santa give all his presents to the rich?

He wanted jingle down economics to take place

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