Why did Draco Malfoy's funeral service take place outside?
Because he hated grief indoors.
Did you hear about the new Silence of the Lambs sequel that's set to take place in Newfoundland?
It's going to be called Ewes Be Quiet.
Jesus enters the restaurant where the last supper is going to take place. Jesus: “table for 26, please” Waiter: “I count only 13 people”
Jesus: “Yeah, but we are all going to sit on the same side”
The Kentucky State Fair will take place this year, but will be closed to the public
Doesn’t seem fair to me
At a fencing tournament, two people are sitting and watching the fight take place.
One of the spectators had spent her whole life devoting herself to the craft, and would have entered the tournament had she not retired a few years ago. The other, simply a fan who thinks swords are cool, having no real understanding of the sport. The fencer on the left side was playing very aggress...
A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp ... [long]
A drunk coming from a night club at dawn wandered off the path and trespassed into a military camp.
He was urinating on one of the camp’s flowerbeds when he was arrested and given a punishment to move a pile of some 1000 bricks from a shed to a nearby site on the camp where some construction ...
If men behaved after marriage the way they behave before marriage, half the divorces wouldn’t take place.
If women behaved before marriage the way they behave after marriage, half the marriages wouldn’t take place!
Breaking News - Devon and Cornwall Music Festival
The Devon and Cornwall Music Festival due to take place this weekend has had to be cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first, The Jam or Cream
Why did Capitalist Santa give all his presents to the rich?
He wanted jingle down economics to take place
There once was a man from Alabama . . .
He was a nice fellow. An unsophisticated hillbilly type but amicable to be around nonetheless. He was known as Catfish Jeb around the bayou because of that one time a catfish bit him in the . . .
Well, where the catfish bit him isn't important, now is it?
One day, very tragically, Catf...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The inventor of the snooze button just died.
His funeral will take place tomorrow at 8:00, 8:05, 8:10 and 8:15.