There are two people making phone calls, a prostitute looking to modernize her business and a guy with a very large nose looking for a doctor.
The guy picks up the phone and calls a doctor from the phone book. “Hey do you guys do nose jobs?…No?…Okay.” He hangs up. The woman gets a call, she picks up the phone and introduces herself. The caller asks if she does foot jobs. “No that’s disgusting!” She replies. “Don’t ever call here aga...
What do you say to an out of touch seamstress who refuses to modernize their operation?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Here’s one my grandpa used to tell my mom and my mom used to tell us. (I’ve taken some artistic liberties to modernize it a bit.)
A man was driving down a country road when one of his tires went flat. He went to look for his tools and saw that part of his set was missing. He had a full spare and jack but his tire iron was missing for some reason. The man looked off in the distance and spied a farmhouse in the distance. With no...
An old priest died and arrived at the Gates of Heaven
Next to him was a young Uber driver who died seconds ago from his reckless driving.
The priest was called first, and St Peter said, "For your life long career working for the church, we will give you a small studio where you can stay at for the rest of eternity."
Then St Peter turns to...
A woman living on a shtetl in Poland goes to see her rabbi
"Rabbi!" she says. "My son Avram has a very strange fear - he is afraid of kreplach!"
The rabbi says, "Kreplach? He's afraid of the meat dumplings we make for Rosh Hashanah?"
She nods. "Yes. I've tried to tell him there's nothing to be afraid of, but whenever he sees kreplach he runs o...