UPJOKE
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I said, "Doc, look, my hair's starting to fall out, maybe give me something to keep it in"

He gave me a ziploc bag

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

What do you call breast implants that fall out and go missing?

Bolton Wanderers.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?

Because it got hit by the first koala.

Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?

Because he thought it was a game and joined in!

My Grandfather really liked Fall Out Boy

I never understood why, considering the age gap between him and the band. Every week, I’d go sit with him on his porch and we’d listen to the band, jamming out to some sick tunes and laughing our hearts out at each other’s awful singing. Unfortunately as time passed, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’...

As the plumber left my house I saw something fall out of his back packet. I walked over and saw that it was a bag of drugs.

But I didn’t bend down to get it, because I didn’t want plumber’s crack.

An apple and an emo kid fall out of a tree which one hits the ground first?

The apple, the rope caught the emo kid.

What’s black and white that could fall out of a tree and kill you?

A piano

Why do scuba divers fall out of the boat backwards?

Well, if they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.

I know a guy who survived an 8000-foot fall out of a plane.

Until he hit the ground.

A girl had her bag open and a calculator fell out. I picked it up and said “excuse me , I think this is yours. I saw it fall out of your bag”

“that adds up” she said

How to fall out of love with an ex-girlfriend?

Set her voice as your alarm-clock ringtone.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

It was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out the tree?

It was stapled to the first monkey.

Why did the fridge fall out the tree?

It’s a fridge. It can’t hold on.

Why did the little boy fall off his bike?

He got hit by two monkeys and a fridge.

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base,the Drill Seargent says,"All right,all of you idiots fall out."

As the rest of the squad wandered away,one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Seargeant walked over to him until he was eye to eye with him,and then raised an eyebrow.The soldier smiled and said,"Sure was a lot of 'em,huh,Sir?"

A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window.

The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks.

The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces.

The windows phone freezes mid decent.

Why did the pirates fall out?

They couldn’t see aye to aye

My buddy asked me if we’d fall out if the plane door opened.

‘Nah, we’ll still be friends’, I replied.

Why did little Sally fall out of the swing

She had no arms...........



Knock knock


**whose there**



Not little Sally

Girl, did you fall out of heaven?

Cause you're showing signs of deranged cognitive abilities in your brain highly suggestive of Post-concussion syndrome.

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