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Defended Jokes

Will Smith defended his wife so well…

She’s definitely going to let him watch tonight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Everyone who defended trump for saying grab them by the pussy is offended by cardi b's sing WAP

Guess there's only a problem when it's wet

TIL the lead singer of Chumbawumba is married to a champion breakdancer. She had to give up dancing when she fell pregnant but, only three months after giving birth, successfully defended her title at the World Championship.

She got knocked up, but she got down again.

A man got cured of lycanthropy and defended his doctoral thesis on the same day.

Now he is looking for a post dog position

Alan Dershowitz has defended O.J. Simpson, Jeffrey Epstein, and Donald Trump

The stabber, the nabber, and the grabber

Hordes of foreigners who speak a different language are pouring into our country through the porous and badly defended border in the wilderness and they are going to cause our society to collapse.

I’m starting to think Rome should do something about those Germans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck.

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody els...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was surprised when my son defended me after I told everyone I had to start taking Viagra...

The little guy actually stuck up for me.

Baby, are you a Caucasian teen with connected parents on trial for DUI manslaughter defended by a high powered attorney?

'Cause you got FINE written all over you.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A bouncer is working on a Saturday night at a popular nightclub for household utensils...

... One of the regulars, a mirror, comes outside for a smoke and greets him.

As they make small talk, a toilet approaches flaunting a pristine gold plated lid. The bouncer immediately lets him in.

The mirror rolls his eyes as the toilet pushes through.

Next, a limo pulls up and ...

I got into a bad fight with my girlfriend last night. It turned ugly because she thought I cheated, and I hadn't

We’re in the kitchen and she tries to hit me with a Spatula. I react pretty quickly but all I have is a dish to block it with; but it’s simply no match.

All hell breaks loose when she tried to go for the midsection with Knives. I got lucky and was defended with my well-placed Buckle. It’s ge...

Did you hear of the Ukrainian soldier who didn’t want to fight, but, when called upon to do so, defended the lives of his wife’s mom, her dad, her sister, her two brothers, her nieces and her nephews, and others who hadn’t been born yet - all with the help of a shoulder-fired missile?

He loves his NLAWs.

Teacher came to Jack's desk

-You had the same answers in your test as Stan. So you must have cheated.

-How do you know that Stan didn't look at my answers? Jack defended himself.

-Stan had written "I don't know" and you had written "I don't know either"...

The Irish have a way with words.

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy,looking like he’d just been run over by a train.His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken,his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

''What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Slightly NSFW) The crime rate in medieval times

A renowned knight, known for the way he stands when he ejaculates, defended the kingdom so well, crime fell to the lowest levels ever heard. Some say this occurrence was random, others say it was the product of Sir Cum Stance.

Watching action movies on shady sites is great.

You get to experience the movie for free that you would usually have to pay for.

The intense hacking scene in which the database needs to be defended from overseas hackers displaying threat messages.

As well as experiencing the supermodel love interest confess her love.

Then ...

The first mate on a ship rarely drinks

The first mate on a ship rarely drinks, but the crew threw him a party on his birthday and went out of their way to get him drunk. The next morning he woke up with a hangover, and went to the bridge. He opened the ship's log and found that the captain had written, "The first mate got drunk last nigh...

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