Cop: sit on that chair, we're gona interrogate you.

Lawyer: *whispering* deny everything.
Me: *loudly* thats not a chair!

What decade did people start denying the existence of a god?

The nineteen-atheist

Why did the judge deny the ghost bail?

Too much of a fright risk.

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Say what you will about men in porn, but you can't deny one thing

They work hard.

How to stop the church gossip

Mildred, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new m...

Apparently I have a foot fetish. Feet make me so excited, but I'm always ashamed. I really want to deny it, but after a year of lying to myself...

I accept defeat

I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existance of certain 80s bands..

there is no cure

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A bodybuilder takes public transport to work..

Bus conductor ask him to buy a ticket

Bodybuilder "I never buy ticket!"

Bus conductor was a thin fella so he couldn't argue much with him.

Next day Bodybuilder again takes the same Bus to work.

Same story he again denies to buy the ticket.

Conductor was very frust...

an extrovert, an alcoholic and a karen were reluctant to take the covid vaccine

an extrovert, an alcoholic and a karen were reluctant to take the covid vaccine. the doctor tries to persuade them

the extrovert denies

" you won't be able to go to public gatherings anymore"

the extrovert agrees to take it



the alcoholic denies

"you will ha...

I used to have a dog that was only a head.

Very happy dog. One day I was drinking a beer and he wanted a sip. Who am I to deny him?

He had a sip and a body grew on his head! So I gave him a drink. A leg formed! Another drink, another leg, then another, and another. A final drink and he had a tail!

By now he was really drunk and...

Germany is a pretty weird country. If you deny the Holocaust, you go to jail.

But if you organize one, you are promoted to Reich Chancellor.

I think my wife is putting glue on my rifle collection.

She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Art students are so dramatic

Art students are so dramatic deny them one thing and they go off and start a war

Why did the robot deny having a brother?

Because he had trans-sisters

An atheist is hiking in the woods...

So an atheist is hiking in the woods when he stumbles across a huge hungry grizzly bear. The bear rears up to full height and gives a roar as it leans in toward the man. The atheist screams in terror "Oh God, help me!!!"

Suddenly, everything--> the bear, the trees, the birds, everything bu...

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If you deny pooping after being in the bathroom for a while...

I'm going to assume you're full of shit.

Did you hear about the cowboys who deny robbing the glue factory?

They're sticking to their guns.

A construction contractor buys a 10 foot Italian submarine sandwich to feed his crew

It gets delivered a little early, so he sets it out on a table and goes back to finish up the morning's work. By the time him and his crew get back to it, though, there's something wrong. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san...

Batman: "Alfred, why do people deny global warming?"

Alfred: "Some men just want to watch the world burn."

I made this one up myself. Hoping it gets at least a chuckle....

Q. Why do Covid-denying men make such poor lovers?

A. Because they're emaskulated.

Was out of the loop. Asian friend told me United Airlines has the power to deny your liberties

He said they punched his rights out.

Why does Turkey deny armenian genocide?

Because they can't accept the failure - Kardashians are still alive

No denying that

A journalist goes to interview an old healthy man on his 105th birthday

Journo: What's the secret to your long healthy life?

Old man: Just one thing: I don't get into arguments

Journo: How can it be just that? Surely you need a healthy diet, good exercise, etc.?

Old man: ...

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R. Kelly has made a song denying any sexual misconduct charges that lasts 19 minutes.

Which is unusual because he usually insists on 18 or under.

A drunk man at the carnival...

A horribly drunk man stumbled up to a carnival game booth and sloppily picked up the air rifle. On his very first shot he knocked the target down, much to the game operator's astonishment.

"Wow, sir that was amazing," said the operator as he handed the drunkard a live turtle. "You'll be going...

Why did the female asteroid deny her boyfriends marriage proposal?

Because she was scared of comet-ment

"Peter, you will deny me three times before the sun rises." Jesus said in the Bible.

"No, I won't" Peter replied.

 

"Yes, you will."

 

"No, I won't, my Lord!"

 

"Yes, you WILL!"

 

"No, I WON'T! ...wait"

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Does your Dick reach your Asshole?

A boy passes Freshman year of high school with an A, so happily he goes to father asking for a 100 dollars so he can party with his friends.
Father asks him, "Does your Dick reach your Asshole?" to which the boy obviously says no. So the father denies his request.

In the Sophomore year the...

My sister won’t let me hold her baby anymore...

Last time I held my sister’s baby, I dropped it. It wasn’t even a big deal, but she started freaking out. It was an accident! Just an accident, no big deal. What happened was, after I was holding the baby and I inevitably dropped it, we start arguing and she’s overreacting big time. She called the c...

One day an atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. " And to think they were all created by a cosmic accident" As he was walking alongside the river he suddenly heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to see a seven foot grizzly bear charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path but he looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
Suddenly he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear right on top of him...

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So this guy decides to take off work to go golfing.

So he's there on the Green, about to head his ball, when he hears, "Ribbit! Nine-iron!"

He looks down and there's a little frog next to his foot. "What did you say, little frog?"

And the frog repeats. "Ribbit! Nine-iron!"

So the man shrugs, figures what the hell, switches cl...

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A newly graduated doctor is assigned to a rural area, and after a few days he realizes that there were no women in the village, they were all men.

After taking a bit of confidence he asks one of his patients that they did when they had the need for sex and the patient replied: That they went down to the river.

The weekend came and the doctor went to the river, and there was a huge line of men standing on the shore of the river. Being so...

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