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I watched a film last night which was basically about a guy who's attracted to watches. It follows he's struggle to fight he's sexual urges towards timepieces but in the end he sleeps with a rolex.

Its about fucking time

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Hulk Hogan: Doc, I had to struggle through manic-depression all my career!

Therapist: Are you saying you had to wrestle mania?

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A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?"

"We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a...

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I'm organising a charity ball next week, for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

Just let me know if you can't come

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I’ve decided to start a weekly support group for people who struggle with having orgasms.

Don’t worry if you can’t come.

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Genie says, "I will grant you 3 wishes, What will be the first one?". Omar replies, "I wish that I can have unlimited wishes."

Genie : "That is not possible, you can only have 3 wishes."

Omar thinks about it for some time.

Omar : "Alright, my first wish is that I want an umbrella."

Genie grants the wish, and asks "What do you want next?"

Omar : "Shove this umbrella up your ass."

Genie stru...

Why do British people struggle with getting a good night’s sleep?

Because the sun never sets.

My struggle with steroid addiction,

Has only made me stronger.

Steve likes Flowers

Every week, he goes to a different florist in his city, and buys a different kind of flower, trying to find what looks and smells best. On this occasion, however, he struggles to find one that fits his vibe for the week. Seeing his struggle, the young florist walks up.

"Hi!" She says with a ...

I struggle with Roman Numerals until I get to 159

Then it just CLIX.

Why did the orphan struggle to understand?

Nothing was ever apparent to him

How would someone who struggles pronouncing their R's say the name Bradley?

They'd say it badly.

What day of the month people who struggle with english need to drink the most?

The 3st

Why do atheists struggle with exponents?

They don’t believe in a higher power.

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So a blond woman was at a shoe store arguing about the price of alligator boots

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, "Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, "Well, little lady, why don't you go give...

I struggled for hours trying to make use of my broken pencil...

But it was pointless.

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When a man is trying to take a decision it is often a struggle between his head and his heart

... then his penis walks in and says,


“Relax Guys! I got this”

Patient's last words

A seriously ill patient is lying on a hospital bed with an oxygen mask,

Plug the tube. Suddenly, the patient began to twitch and his mouth was squirming. There seems to be something to say. Upon seeing this, the pastor standing nearby bent down and asked softly Said: "Do you want to say somet...

I'd tell you a joke about healthcare...

...but the Americans would struggle to get it.

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A man enters a public toilet and walks to a urinal.

At the adjacent urinal to him is a man with no hands, who is really having trouble trying to take a piss.
After a while of noticing the man's struggle, the guy offers some assistance.
The man with no hands thanks him and accepts the help. He asks if he can take out his penis and aim it at the...

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Are my testicles black? (First post but let me know if it is a repost)

Are my testicles black?

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Emba...

A monocle walks into a bar.

After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."

So the monocle hops off the bar stool and gr...

Studies show that 9 out of 10 men struggle with erectile dysfunction

I think that's crazy. Men nowadays are just getting soft

A man holding several miniature pigs walks into a bar.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender ...

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Old but still craven

Two women are discussing life in the retirement village they live in with their spouses and how they like it. One woman tells the other that she misses sex though to which the other replies that her and her hubby still have sex whenever she wants. The first woman asks how and the second woman says e...

A young lad is tending a bar in a Western saloon, when a red-faced man barges in.

"Quick, everyone!" the man shouts. "Big Frank is coming!"

A panic ensues. Chairs are thrown as people try desperately to be the first to leave. One mother just drops her baby on the floor, picks up her skirts, and runs. Several people are badly injured, but eventually the young lad is the onl...

A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle.

He finds himself in a cozy cabin just outside of a small, remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest. He fishes, he hikes, he naps blissfully while listening to the trees sway. But by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored, and goes to town.

Checking...

Ricardo Montalban struggled to find acting roles after "Star Trek 2."

Nobody wanted to hire an ex-Khan.

What kind of bird struggles to take off?

A Velcrow

A man who is already drunk from a bar is about to enter another bar...

...while still drunk he struggles to find the entrance to the bar. He is only able to notice a big sign reading "NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE." The shocking warning sign instantly makes him snap out of drunkenness and quickly look down to see his shoes and shirt have been lost from his last drunk ...

A high school student struggles to pass his tests but decides, one day, to pull himself together.

After weeks of hard work and dedication, his grades start picking up.

A month passes and the semester is finally over.

He approaches his father and shows him his grades.

The father looks dramatically into his son's eyes and says:



"long time no C".

So one night I was drinking at the pub for a while and decided it was time to head home

I had too much to drink so I had to walk home. It started raining on my way so I decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery to get home faster.

It was really dark and eventually I found myself fallen into an open grave, I tried to climb out but the wall was wet and slippery, and kept bre...

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Man buys $20 engagement ring (nsfw)

A man bought a $20 engagement ring.
He hides it where the sun dont shine.

Later that day he gets on one knee and asks his soon to be wife to check if he had something stuck there.

After a bit of struggle she fishes it out and he pops the question.

Confused and in tears she re...

Times were tough at the Daily Planet and Perry White was forced to fire a star reporter. Either Lois Lane or Clark Kent.

He struggled making a decision for days until he went to the grocery store and saw a sign. The next day he called both of them into his office where fired Lois Lane. After she left, Clark Kent asked him, "Perry, how did you decide which of us to fire?" He replied, "I couldn't make a decision until I...

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A horse, a chicken and a fantastic moral. [long]

There is a horse and a chicken and they are best friends. One day horse and chicken are walking down a trail when horse steps into some very deep mud. Horse struggles to get out but he cannot set himself free and chicken is too small and feeble to free horse as well. As chicken is crying for his fri...

Why do Germans keep their problems to themselves?

Because the last time a German talked about his struggles it didn't end well.

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Jack is a cowboy working on a large ranch in a remote pasture in Wyoming.

One day as he’s overseeing the livestock on the ranch a brand-new 7 Series BMW suddenly advances towards him creating an enormous cloud of dust in the process

The car stops and the driver is a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses and YSL tie. He steps out of the car and...

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A pilot crashes his plane into the Pacific Ocean..

He wakes up to find that he has washed up on a sandy beach. After some exploration he finds that he is on a small island covered with fruit bearing trees and plants, enough for him to survive indefinitely. He also finds that he is not alone as there happens to be two dogs with him on the island....

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A man sitting at a bar orders a bottle of whiskey

He then starts taking long sips from the bottle until it's empty. An hour later he decides he's too drunk and he needs to go back home to his wife. He makes an attempt to stand up but fails miserably, throwing himself on the floor.

The bartender helps him back on his chair and tells him to wa...

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How did Hitler write Mein Kampf while in prison?

It was a struggle

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Seeing someone struggle with auto-eroctic asphyxiation is confusing

I can never tell If there cuming or going.

I struggle with overeating.

Sometime my arms get tired.

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Johhny asks his teacher for help getting his shoes on

From the get go it is a struggle to get them on, and when his teacher reached the second shoe she is already out of breath. When she finally manages to get the second shoe on, Johhny looks at her and through his only four teeth says: "Mith, I think my feet are the wrong way round". She looks down an...

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A drunk man walks into a public bathroom

and starts to take a piss at a urinal. Just then, he notices the bathroom door swing open and in walks a leprechaun. As the leprechaun is walking up to the urinal besides the man, the man reaches out and catches him. The leprechaun struggles and breaks free from the man and tells him, "obviously you...

A man in Shanghai named Sam wakes up one morning to find...

A man in Shanghai named Sam wakes up one morning to find that his car, a Mustang, has had all the internal components removed, leaving only a hollow, useless shell. He calls the police and soon an investigative team arrives.


The lead investigator approaches the victim and says "It appear...

- My wife struggles with alcoholism

- Does she drink?
- No, I drink.

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The tale of my chinese friend and his struggles

Earlier this year, a chinese family moved into my small town. The family had two twins who were both seniors in my class, Ving and Ling. Ving and his sister Ling were quiet to start off with, but eventually I made good friends with Ving. After talking to him for a few weeks he revealed to me that he...

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A Soldier's True Mettle

Canada, Mexico and The USA decide to test their three best soldiers in the ultimate test of a soldier's ability to deal with extreme situations. Each man is given a gun, placed in front of a door and told to walk in and kill whoever is in the room. With a deep breath, each walks in.

After 5 ...

Harry Potter struggles telling his cooking pot and Best Friend apart...

They're both Cauldron!

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A drunk’s struggle

A man has been sitting at a bar drinking his sorrows away all night. The bartender notices the guy’s state of intoxication and decides it’s time to cut him off for the night.

“I won’t serve you anymore tonight” says the bartender.

“That’s fine” says the drunk as he stumbles out the f...

This is a thoughtful reminder that everyone around you is going through something, some type of struggle...

And you should find out what it is and use it against them.

Whenever I struggle with my identity, I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror.

I find it's the best place for self reflection.

So a blonde, redhead, and brunette must pick ONE thing to bring with them into the desert.......

The redhead says she will bring food so that when she's hungry she won't have to worry about finding food

The brunette says she will bring water so that when she's thirsty she won't have to struggle to find an oasis

The blonde says she will bring a car door so that when she's hot she c...

The CEO and the Envelopes

A new CEO was hired to take over a struggling company. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run into serious trouble,” he said.

Well, three months later sales and profits were still way down and the new CEO wa...

85% of Millennials struggle with figuring out the opposite of these words.

Always
Coming
Take
Me
Down

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A Dane, a Swede and a Finn...

A Dane, a Swede and a Finn want to find out who is the manliest. They decide to have contest with three stages. First they must drink one liter of vodka. Next they need to kill a bear barehanded. Last, they must prove their manhood and fuck a maiden.

The Dane went first. He drank the vodka, ...

what did the tap say to you when you struggled to open it?

Don’t faucet!

Studies suggest that parents can do 1/3 of their kids’ math assignments

However, they struggle with the other 3/4

Liam Neeson struggles with being unappreciated after saving his family.

Taken 4: Granted

Four out of three people struggle with math

It just doesn't add up unless you have twins.

The local journalist heard about a man turning 100 years old who had never had any alcohol in his life.

The journalist decided to interview him to highlight the health benefits of abstaining.

On the day of the interview the journalist is led into the old man's house by his caregiver. The caregiver took him to the old man who was bedridden and hooked up to an oxygen tank.

"So you've never...

Only a fisherman will understand the struggle

Give a man a fish and you will feed him for the day.

Teach a man to fish and he’s going to spend a fortune on gear he’ll only be using twice a year.

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