Someone broke into my house and stole my Dusty Springfield collection.
I just don't know what to do with myself.
Did anyone else hear about that crazy circus fire in Springfield?
It was in tents.
"Doctor, I think I might be deaf."
"So what are the symptoms?"
"A yellow family from Springfield."
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth
A man goes to the doctors as he thinks he’s going deaf
“What are the symptoms?” The doctor asks
“They’re that yellow family that live in Springfield”
Cop pulls a man over and the man hands him a concealed carry permit....
So the cop asked the man "are you carrying today sir?" Man says "yes sir, I have a Colt .45 on my hip and a .22 in my boot." "Anything else?" Said the officer. Man says "well there's a Glock in the glove box, a 12 gauge on the back seat... oh plus the M4, Springfield and Tommy gun in the trunk...
The Final Exam
The weekend before their big history final, four college buddies decided to go to St. Louis to party with friends. However, after partying all night, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Springfield until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking their history final then, they...
On a hot afternoon, Scrooge the miser and his grandson, Tim, were walking home from a party.
Tim complains, "Gramps, it's still a long way back to our house. It's hot and I'm tired. Look, there's a bus stop here. Can we please take the bus home?"
Scrooge is aghast. "It'll cost us six dollars to get home from here! What a waste of money! We'll walk it."
Tim sighs, but he's a ...