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Cross Country Jokes

I recently heard about a young adult novel in which Schrodinger’s cat and Pavlov’s dog team up for a cross country adventure…

So, I headed down to the library with my daughter to see if they had a copy.

The librarian said the description rang a bell but she wasn’t sure if it was there or not..

My teacher this year told me to try out Cross Country.

She said it would be good in the long run.

Guy driving cross country

Stops in a small town for lunch.
Walks in a tiny restaurant, waitress is busy in the back, so he looks at the chalk board with daily specials.

It says: Sandwich 5 $
Handy 10$

A little confused, he calls the waitress over and asks:
Are you the one doing the hand...

Four guys are driving cross country together.

One each from Idaho, Iowa, Florida, and New York.

A bit down the road the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window.

The man from Iowa asks, "What are you doing?" The man from Idaho says, "We have so many of these in Idaho they're laying around ...

This penguin was driving cross country, when suddenly his car starts to smoke.

This penguin was driving cross country, when suddenly his car starts to smoke. he pulls into a small town and leaves his car with the local mechanic. The mechanic tells him it will be done in about 3 hours and he should go wander the town for a while. So the penguin wanders around, checking a few st...

A penguin is going on a cross country trip

when suddenly his car starts making a bad sound. The penguin decides to bring it into a shop to get it looked at. While his car is getting looked at he notices and ice cream shop across the street and decides to grab a scoop of ice cream. When the penguin comes back to the shop to check on his car t...

I hope Terry Fox's cross country treks in the Marathon of Hope was an inspiration to all

not to skip-leg day.

I Gave Up Cross Country Skiing.

Ever since it's all been downhill.

The difference between a freshman girls cross country team and a litter of baby foxes?

One is a bunch of cunning little runts...

If the last Wolverine movie is a cross country chase...

then why isn't it called Logan's Run?

I was on a cross country flight and the stewardess asked me if I wanted any headphones?

I said, "sure, and how did you know my name was Phones?"

I was reading a book on cross country and kept coming across this one joke...

It was a running joke

Did you hear about the depressed man going on a cross country road trip?

He's weeping the nation.

I heard Hotel California for the 6th time on the radio during my cross country road trip.

You can change the station any time you like, but the song never leaves

What is Mexico's national sport?

Cross Country

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You are moving cross country. FedEx agrees to fly all your belongings over. During the flight the plane is unable to maintain lift.

The pilot asks you to lose some baggage. What do you lose ?

The fridge.

Why ?

Cause it's heavy. Why is the fridge heavy ?

Cause it has a fucking giraffe in it.

What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?

Cross country

What's the most popular sport everywhere except for the US?

Cross country

You Know You're A Northneck (Northern Redneck) If......

Your rusty vehicle's resale value only goes up if you remember to put the snow tires on them during the winter.

You ever got into a shouting match based on which college hockey team you're a fan of.

You've ever used expired gas station sushi as bait for ice fishing.

(You're re...

Family vacation

A family of five is going on vacation. They've rented an RV for the cross country trip.
They loaded the RV with household items, clothing, recreational gear, pets and food. Off they go!

The car crashes into a brick wall minutes after starting the journey. Everyone is killed except the pet ...

A New Yorker Was Teaching A Midwesterner How To Ski

A Midwesterner is on vacation in the Poconos. Over there, he decides to take up downhill skiing. He's done a lot of cross country skiing, but he's never skied downhill, since there are no mountains over in Fargo. Fargo's flatter than a pancake.

He decided to try downhill skiing. "How hahr...

What would be the main event at the immigrant olympics?

Cross country.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Sami temperature scale

(ed: the Sami are an indigineous people living in the northern parts of Scandinavia, also called Lapland)

+10°C: Inhabitants of Helsinki turn off the heat. The Sami plant flowers.

+5°C: If the sun rises over the horizon, it's sunbathing time for the Sami

+2°C: Italian cars won't...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are on a road trip...

when their car breaks down in front of a farm. They knock on the door of the farm house to ask to call a tow truck. The farmer tells them the phone is in the kitchen. One of three men call and find out no one is available until the morning. The farmer offers a mattress in the barn for the men to sha...

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