My girlfriend left me because I'm too understanding.
I can relate to that.
A man goes to the doctor and says to the doctor "My wife is pregnant but we always use protection and I KNOW that it never broke, how could this happen?"
The doctor sits the man down and says "let me tell you a story, there was a hunter who always brought his gun with him everywhere he went. ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
My girlfriend always complaints that she hates have meaningless sex.
So now when I hump her I read out all the synonyms of love making from Oxford dictionary.
My wife and I's marriage is built upon love and understanding.
She doesn't love me, and i don't understand her.
My boyfriend knows how understanding I am.
Thats why he always calls me miss understanding.
I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words.
She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect.
Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
*RANT TIME* Please can we stop with the flashing blue outdoor Christmas lights this year ?
Every time I come around the corner, I think it's the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, hide the weed, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the machete under the seat, all while trying to drive. It's ...
Stephen Hawking was a master at the violin
He had an adept understanding of string theory