I got fired for not accepting a raise at my job this week because I didn't want to lose money paying higher taxes in the next bracket.

I sure feel bad for the accountant they hire to replace me.

My programmer friend keeps telling me I'm using too many brackets.

I keep telling him that two wont hold all those books he never reads.

Request: Joke Length in brackets

When submitting the title of the joke, what if we had some sort of convention?

Recent submissions:

* [A rancher dies.](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/rebvl/a_rancher_dies/)

* [The present](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/re2or/the_present/)

* [Former Olympi...

This joke may contain offensive words. ๐Ÿค”

Menโ€™s Helpline

Men's Help Line
"Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"
"Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up.
She goes out with 'the ...

The Rhyming Competition

The was a very classy rhyming competition and after a long day of working through the brackets there were only two contestants left.
While his opponent waited in a sound-proof room backstage, the defending champion takes the podium. His name is Preston Hughs, a scholar, gentleman, and has many of...

Courtesy of a child at work

(My responses are in the brackets)

Will you remember me in a hour? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a day? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a week? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a month? (Yes)
Will you remember me in a year? (Yes)

Knock knock
(Who's there?)
You've forgotte...

My grandfather's favorite joke.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
Edit: Sorry I am relatively new to reddit so I've added some brackets thanks guys!
Edit 2:I decided to show my grandf...

This joke may contain offensive words. ๐Ÿค”

Where does Google Chrome for desktop stand politically?

While being PC, I think it's clear that for Chrome **ALT+right** is the way **forward**, while **left** is **backwards**.

But actually, I think they're part of a conspiracy where they **Command+ALT+brackets** to Mac-simize power over how we'll **revisit history**.

I mean, look - they...

This joke may contain offensive words. ๐Ÿค”

Why IRS hasn't taxed the only thing it left out - penis!

NEW TAX CODE

The only thing IRS has not yet taxed is the penis.

This is due to the fact that 70% of the time it is hanging around
unemployed, 13% of the time it is pissed off, 12% of the time it
is hard up, and 5% of the time it's in the hole.

It has two dependents, but th...

This joke may contain offensive words. ๐Ÿค”

The Programming Language Competition (OC)

The programming languages are in a competition to see who's the best.

Java makes the brackets. In the major bracket, C++ is against C#. Binary is against assembly. C is against Java. Visual Basic is against PHP. Perl is against JavaScript.

And Python is in the lowest bracket, with al...

Reading Too Far Into It

A woman decides to surprise her blind boyfriend on his birthday by having herself vajazzled in Braille.

She goes to her salon and gets a full wax, the salon girl glues the sequins around her crotch according to her careful instructions, and she rushes home and hops into bed. She calls her bo...

What do you call a bee in a space rocket?

bracket