My dashboard keeps saying "Trunk is ajar"

Damn thing is lying. I know my trunk isn't a jar.

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A hitchhiker gets picked up by a trucker with a bullfrog on his dashboard.

The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. After a while, the truck driver decides to show him what's what. He pulls over by the side of the road.

"Watch this!"

He takes the bullfrog by the legs and SLAMS its head...

Did you hear that Jayne Mansfield is on the radio?

And the dashboard, and the steering wheel....

A cop pulls over an old lady for speeding on a highway. He asks for her driver's license and registration.

When she opens her wallet, he notices a conceal-carry permit.

He asks, “Ma’am, do you have a weapon in your possession at this time?”

She responds "I'll bet you $100 you can't guess the answer to that question" as she slaps a crisp bill on her dashboard.

The cop rubs his chin an...

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Two guys in a helicopter are crossing a mountain range when the rotor breaks and the chopper is going to crash.

As they are falling to their certain death, the pilot calmly reaches to his pocket and pulls out a bright red lipstick. He puts lipstick on, then tears the steering wheel out of the dashboard and shoves it up his ass. Passenger looks at the pilot in horror and shouts "what the hell are you doing, we...

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That SOB can drive!

### There was this woman sitting on a park bench muttering to herself and spitting. She would mutter then spit, mutter then spit. As a man got closer he heard her say "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive" then spit "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive" then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive" then...

I added Paul Walker on XBOX

But he spends all his time on the dashboard.



I’m going to hell over this.

Two elderly women were out driving

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have...

I've put the money attracting talisman my gf gave me on the dashboard of my car

I had a head-on with an armored bank truck the next day.

A penguin was driving when he noticed the warning light on his dashboard light up...

He limped the car to the nearest garage. The mechanic said it may take a while to fix and so to come back later.

So the penguin went out and took in the sights. Whilst he was there he decided to get an ice cream. However, only having flippers, he couldn't hold the ice cream very well and made...

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 

The four brothers walked...

A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had been in his car.

"They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator." he moaned.


Five minutes later, the phone at the police station rang again. It was the same drunk. "Sorry" , he slurred, " I just realised I got into the backseat by mistake."

A drunk calls the police, and says,

"They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal.."

Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I’m in the back seat"

Re-examining the legacy of Princess Diana

Researchers have concluded that compared to other royals her legacy was head and shoulders apart



At least, that's how they found her on the dashboard.

My favorite clean joke - the Old Man and the Ferrari

A young investment banker goes out and buys the car of his dreams - a brand new Ferrari GTO. After paying $500,000, he takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light. While waiting for the light to change, an frail looking old man on a yellow moped pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at ...

The French Test Drive

An American couple took their honeymoon in France, and they loved it so much they decided they just had to live there. But the costly move left them in financial hardship. Eventually, they did both find jobs, but on opposite ends of the city, so they decided to buy a car.

"This one," said the...

Exactly 22 years ago Princess Diana was on the radio...

...She was also on the windshield, dashboard, and glovebox.

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As old as the Hills and twice as dusty but no, I've never seen it here

The traveling salesman's car breaks,so he asked a farmer if he can stay there for a few days while his car gets fixed.

The farmer had 2 beautiful daughters, Nellie and Venus.

One night TS takes the older daughter "Venus"on a date to the drive in,using the farmers car.

The next...

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A native american hitchhiker was picked up by a slick

city man who was driving past the reservation.

As they were driving along, the indian noticed a brown paper bag on the dashboard and inquired as to its contents. The city man replied: "It's a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife".

The Indian looked forward at the road, nodded his head ...

I added princess Diana as a profile on my Xbox

But unfortunately she's only on the dashboard

There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported death.

I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.

Did you hear about Paul Walker on the radio?

And the dashboard and pretty much the rest of the interior

Princess Diana was all over the radio the night she died,

And on the dashboard, the seats and the steering wheel...

A new conspiracy theory states Priness Diana was actually on the radio shortly after the supposed accident that killed her.

And the windshield, and the dashboard...

^^^^I ^^^^made ^^^^myself ^^^^sad

Four musicians and a drummer walk into a bar. (Drummer jokes!)

How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
*The knocking speeds up and he doesn't know where to come in.*

How do you get the drummer away from your door?
*Pay for the pizza.*

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
*Gifted.*

Why did the bassist keep drumstick...

How do police know that Paul Walker didn’t have dandruff?

They found his head and shoulders on the dashboard.

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Bob was a carpet installer

and one day he installed this beautiful wall to wall carpet for Mrs. Smith. He spent all day and did a great job. As he finished he was thinking "I'm ready for a cigarette now!". They weren't in his shirt pocket, and they weren't in his vest pocket. They weren't in his pants.

As Bob was goin...

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A man gets bitten by a black widow

A man gets bitten by a black widow spider and he dies. When he arrives in Heaven, he meets God. He asks God, “God, there is something I just don’t understand. What is the purpose of making something so small, so powerful?” God replied, “I never saw you complain about your brain or your penis!”
...

What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360?

The dashboard.

why cant Paul Walker use tumblr?

He only sticks to the dashboard

"You were going 40 in a 30," said the policeman, rubbing his hands together in the freezing cold.

"I wasn't, actually. I was going 30," I assured him.

"What makes you so sure of that?" he asked.

"Look at my dashboard," I replied, "it says -10."

I just added Princess Diana to my xbox friends list.

I don't think she has any games though, all she does is spend all day on the dashboard...

A blonde gets in her car...

and notices that her dashboard windshield and steering wheel were missing she called the cops and reported a theft when the cops arrived she was crying in her car and the cops went up to her and said "Ma'am you are sitting in the backseat".

Did you know that Princess Diana was on her cell phone when she died?

She was also on the dashboard, the windscreen, the roadside...

A most horrible occurrence.

A man runs into a gas station, obviously very flustered. The attendant asks "You look like you've seen a ghost. What happened?" The man looks at the attendant and says, in a very shaky voice, "It's horrible. Someone just broke into my car when I came in to pay for my gas a minute ago." The attendant...

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Washing cars

One day, little Jimmy was walking home from school when something catches his eye. Peering into a shop window he saw a brand new red bicycle. "Wow," he thought to himself, "that sure is a great looking bike but neither my parents or I can afford it!". Jimmy stares at it in admiration for a few minut...

Two blondes are driving.

The first blonde asks, "Is my blinker working?"

The second blonde checks the dashboard and responds, "Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no."

A man was out of gas on the side of the road...

A man was pulled over on the side of the road, out of gas and stranded. He rolled down his window and a bee flew in. It landed on his dashboard and asked, "Why are you pulled over?"

"I'm out of gas", said the man.

"Alright, just wait right here", said the bee. It flew away and retur...

Sentry

A new soldier was posted guard at the gate to the American Base in Afghanistan. His orders were clear: All vehicles had to stop to show ID unless it had a special placard on the dashboard inside the windshield.

A black SUV came up with a general seated in the back. The car did not immediate...

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