UPJOKE
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I hate it when Windows 10 resets my default browser...

It puts me on Edge every time

Your browser history may be spotless,

But your predictive text will betray you.

My bartender is like my browser...

too many open tabs, and not enough resource management.

Why did the internet browser get fat?

It accepted all cookies.

I get anxious whenever I have to use the default Microsoft web browser

Using Firefox helps take the *Edge* off.

Right now my brain is like a web browser.

I've got 21 tabs open. 5 of them have crashed, and I can't work out where the music is coming from.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[nsfw] some parents find their teenager’s browser history

It’s full of s&m porn.

Mom says: well what are we going to do?

Dad says: what do you mean?

Mom says: well.. we can’t *spank* him.

I looked at my friends browser history and saw that he searched 'How to kill myself'

I still don't know what drove him to the Edge

Frequent browsers of /r/jokes will not get this.

Laid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a porn addicts favorite browser?

Edge

Why can't regular browsers of r/jokes change a lightbulb?

They are all looking for the punchline.

What is Mario's favorite search browser?

YYYYAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I will leave now)

What you call when you delete Microsoft Edge browser from your computer?

Cutting Edge technology!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have recently changed my "porn browser" to Microsoft Edge...

...and oh man, it takes too long to cum.

I'm not panicking yet about ISPs selling my browser history to advertising companies...

On the other hand, when they offer to sell my browsing history to my wife, that would be the appropriate time to panic!

"I'll close all other applications and only keep my internet browser up to save processing power,"

Said the Google Chrome user.

If Aladdin used a web browser

It would be called Jafari.

(I'm so sorry my friend made me do this.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WIFE: I found porn in the browser history

ME: \*feigning surprise\* I see. Guess it’s time I had a talk with our son

WIFE: \*rolls eyes\* He’s 3, Patches

ME: \*nodding\* I’ll go easy on him

I asked my Australian chemist friend for a faster internet browser to use.

He said, “Just use chromate”.

I'm so annoyed at how much Microsoft tries to make me use their browser...

It's pushing me to the Edge

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

So apparently Microsoft is working on a new Chromium-based web browser to replace the old ones..

Hooray! We'll finally have a decent web browser for downloading other web browsers.

What's the first thing you do if your browser becomes haunted?

Clear all spookies

I don't have to worry about my browser history anymore

Whatever I search comes back as Facebook Ads

Dad, why is my sister called Makeup Tutorial?

Because it was in your mom's browser history.

Ok, thank you dad.

No problem,

I've been learning to use a new web browser lately, but my teacher is being really harsh to me.

He's my Tor-mentor.

Internet Explorer is actually my favorite browser..

To download other browsers with

Abraham Lincoln, 1863

-Morgan Freeman

Why can’t orphans use any web browsers effectively?

Because they can’t access any of the homepages.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was standing just next to Aj1t Pa1 when he was using Tor Browser ...

I peeked at his PornHub account and his username was AJ1T_3.14Inches

I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed...

Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday.

Columbus,Marco Polo etc,are not the bravest explorers of all time.

Its the Internet Explorer.

It is brave enough to ask to be my default browser.

How did Rey exit out of her glitching web browser?

Force quit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

More valuable than Superman

The clear history button in your browser has saved more lives than Superman.

Instagram and Chrome are going shopping

Instagram: Aren’t you going to buy anything?

Chrome: Nah, I’m a browser.

If my calculator had a history,

it would be more embarrassing than my browser history :P

My wife asked me why I never go to Confession.

I told her I just clear my browser history when I want to wash away my sins.

How do we know Santa has been bad this year?

Because he accepts all cookie requests on his browser.

Your palm lines tells a lot about you...

but your Browser history tells everything.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I got home yesterday I saw my girlfriend had thrown all my stuff onto the front lawn.

I asked her what she doing and she said "I saw your browser history! Get out of my life you paedophile!"

I thought this was absolutely crazy!

When the fuck did they start teaching words like "paedophile" to eight year-olds?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank asked Joe what function key on a Windows PC is used to spell check

Joe responded: “F5”

Frank said “No that’s refreshing my browser page”

Joe said “No look at the window!! Fucking F5!”

Frank angrily replied “DUDE! I’m looking! it’s refreshing the page, not spell check!!”

Frank took some initiative and looked it up himself to find that the...

I've been learning keyboard shortcuts

I have decided to start learning and using keyboard shortcuts, they are really convenient and can actually save you quite a bit of time.

For example:

The Windows key + D will minimize everything and go to your desktop

Alt Tab will switch between applications

Alt Right wi...

Happy New Year 2010!!

Sent from IE browser

I asked my doctor if I have OCD because of my compulsive cleaning.

Apparently cleaning your browser history does not count.

A man walks into a bar.

He opens a tab, buys a few drinks, pays, then leaves.

The next day, he opens a tab, buys drinks, pays, leaves.

This goes on routinely, day by day.

On the fourth week of opening tabs and buying drinks, his browser crashed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the surest way to turn your partner off during sex?

Close your browser.

Internet Explorer

Chrome and Firefox are popular web browsers.
Internet Explorer is the most popular web browser to install Chrome or Firefox with.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wise words and thoughts.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.

My tole...

So this guy goes to the bank

and wants help with his online banking. The banker quickly realizes that the customer simply locked himself out of the online account, so the banker unlocks the account. The customer then tries to log in using the mobile app, but fails.
The banker, confused, unlocks the account and asks if the c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The body of an homosexual, existentialist fugitive was found in a motel 2 years after the case went cold.

Across an entire wall the words "How do they know" were scrawled, surrounded by places and names connected by bits of string.
The police investigated this, but they couldn't decipher it beyond the ravings of a madman.

The body was found in front of a computer after people at the motel repo...

Why did the man steal mushrooms from the store?

Because he had no [morels](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-att-us&hl=en-US&oe=utf-8&safe=images&q=morel+mushrooms&source=browser-suggest&qsubts=1457412200783&action=devloc).

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know is an election year when...

...you type "P" into your browser and Primary Results comes up before Porn.

Dorothy is stuck in Oz

Apparently magical footwear can't solve all of your problems. So she stays put.

Decades go by, and technology advances. Dorothy, realizing that things get boring without witches trying to murder you, gets a laptop.

She installs Internet Explorer, and the connection is terrible. Doroth...

Cemetery help.

My wife & I recently bought a house. To get pretty much anywhere, the main road from our neighborhood goes through a giant cemetery.

Now, a week before we bought the house, - on Thanksgiving morning - my wife gave birth to our first child - a boy (side note, I wouldn't recommend having a...

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