UPJOKE
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I get anxious whenever I have to use the default Microsoft web browser

Using Firefox helps take the *Edge* off.

Right now my brain is like a web browser.

I've got 21 tabs open. 5 of them have crashed, and I can't work out where the music is coming from.

I hate it when Windows 10 resets my default browser...

It puts me on Edge every time

I looked at my friends browser history and saw that he searched 'How to kill myself'

I still don't know what drove him to the Edge

What you call when you delete Microsoft Edge browser from your computer?

Cutting Edge technology!

"I'll close all other applications and only keep my internet browser up to save processing power,"

Said the Google Chrome user.

Instagram and Chrome are going shopping

Instagram: Aren’t you going to buy anything?

Chrome: Nah, I’m a browser.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a porn addicts favorite browser?

Edge

Have you ever heard of the browser Mozzarella Firefox?

Some say the interface is a bit cheesy, but on the other hand it's open sauce.

I've been learning to use a new web browser lately, but my teacher is being really harsh to me.

He's my Tor-mentor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I have recently changed my "porn browser" to Microsoft Edge...

...and oh man, it takes too long to cum.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[nsfw] some parents find their teenager’s browser history

It’s full of s&m porn.

Mom says: well what are we going to do?

Dad says: what do you mean?

Mom says: well.. we can’t *spank* him.

What web browser to British people use?

Innit Explorer

I'm so annoyed at how much Microsoft tries to make me use their browser...

It's pushing me to the Edge

Why can't regular browsers of r/jokes change a lightbulb?

They are all looking for the punchline.

Sometimes I go around to random windows computers and delete the default browser

Just to take the edge off

So apparently Microsoft is working on a new Chromium-based web browser to replace the old ones..

Hooray! We'll finally have a decent web browser for downloading other web browsers.

What is Mario's favorite search browser?

YYYYAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I will leave now)

Frequent browsers of /r/jokes will not get this.

Laid.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

WIFE: I found porn in the browser history

ME: \*feigning surprise\* I see. Guess it’s time I had a talk with our son

WIFE: \*rolls eyes\* He’s 3, Patches

ME: \*nodding\* I’ll go easy on him

What's the first thing you do if your browser becomes haunted?

Clear all spookies

I'm not panicking yet about ISPs selling my browser history to advertising companies...

On the other hand, when they offer to sell my browsing history to my wife, that would be the appropriate time to panic!

If Aladdin used a web browser

It would be called Jafari.

(I'm so sorry my friend made me do this.)

I don't have to worry about my browser history anymore

Whatever I search comes back as Facebook Ads

How did Rey exit out of her glitching web browser?

Force quit.

Dad, why is my sister called Makeup Tutorial?

Because it was in your mom's browser history.

Ok, thank you dad.

No problem,

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Frank asked Joe what function key on a Windows PC is used to spell check

Joe responded: “F5”

Frank said “No that’s refreshing my browser page”

Joe said “No look at the window!! Fucking F5!”

Frank angrily replied “DUDE! I’m looking! it’s refreshing the page, not spell check!!”

Frank took some initiative and looked it up himself to find that the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was standing just next to Aj1t Pa1 when he was using Tor Browser ...

I peeked at his PornHub account and his username was AJ1T_3.14Inches

Why can’t orphans use any web browsers effectively?

Because they can’t access any of the homepages.

Internet Explorer is actually my favorite browser..

To download other browsers with

Abraham Lincoln, 1863

-Morgan Freeman

I recently told my girlfriend about removing the cookies and site data because it slows down the browser speed...

Now she understands why I delete the browsing history everyday.

Columbus,Marco Polo etc,are not the bravest explorers of all time.

Its the Internet Explorer.

It is brave enough to ask to be my default browser.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't neo-nazis use the forward button on their browsers?

Because they Alt-Right instead.

The company that makes the Opera browser have asked Sir Patrick Stewart to redesign their logo

They want him to make its O.

I got my Covid shot today. I feel fine, except...

I have this strange urge to change my browser to Edge.

If my calculator had a history,

it would be more embarrassing than my browser history :P

How do we know Santa has been bad this year?

Because he accepts all cookie requests on his browser.

A man walks into a bar.

He opens a tab, buys a few drinks, pays, then leaves.

The next day, he opens a tab, buys drinks, pays, leaves.

This goes on routinely, day by day.

On the fourth week of opening tabs and buying drinks, his browser crashed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I got home yesterday I saw my girlfriend had thrown all my stuff onto the front lawn.

I asked her what she doing and she said "I saw your browser history! Get out of my life you paedophile!"

I thought this was absolutely crazy!

When the fuck did they start teaching words like "paedophile" to eight year-olds?

Your palm lines tells a lot about you...

but your Browser history tells everything.

My wife asked me why I never go to Confession.

I told her I just clear my browser history when I want to wash away my sins.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

More valuable than Superman

The clear history button in your browser has saved more lives than Superman.

I asked my doctor if I have OCD because of my compulsive cleaning.

Apparently cleaning your browser history does not count.

Happy New Year 2010!!

Sent from IE browser

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The body of an homosexual, existentialist fugitive was found in a motel 2 years after the case went cold.

Across an entire wall the words "How do they know" were scrawled, surrounded by places and names connected by bits of string.
The police investigated this, but they couldn't decipher it beyond the ravings of a madman.

The body was found in front of a computer after people at the motel repo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the surest way to turn your partner off during sex?

Close your browser.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"I know everyone..." was on Bill's resume.

Was on Bill's resume when he applied for his new job. His manager, Dave, impressed by everything else made a comment.
Dave: "Surely, you dont know EVERYONE."
Bill retorts: " I do infact know everyone."
Dave asks smugly: "Even the President of the U.S.?"
Bill nonchalantly pulls out his ph...

Cemetery help.

My wife & I recently bought a house. To get pretty much anywhere, the main road from our neighborhood goes through a giant cemetery.

Now, a week before we bought the house, - on Thanksgiving morning - my wife gave birth to our first child - a boy (side note, I wouldn't recommend having a...

What is something kids love to and clean the most?

Their browser history

Why did the man steal mushrooms from the store?

Because he had no [morels](https://www.google.com/search?client=ms-android-att-us&hl=en-US&oe=utf-8&safe=images&q=morel+mushrooms&source=browser-suggest&qsubts=1457412200783&action=devloc).

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Spider Webs

There was once a young biologist who was researching the eating patterns of spiders. There wasn't much demand for biologists in his local area so he worked as a taxi driver by day, it was a steady job but there was long hours and pay wasn't very good. He spent his nights collecting spiders and bugs ...

Dorothy is stuck in Oz

Apparently magical footwear can't solve all of your problems. So she stays put.

Decades go by, and technology advances. Dorothy, realizing that things get boring without witches trying to murder you, gets a laptop.

She installs Internet Explorer, and the connection is terrible. Doroth...

Happy New Year 2016!

Have I mentioned Internet Explorer is a great browser?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know is an election year when...

...you type "P" into your browser and Primary Results comes up before Porn.

Internet Explorer

Chrome and Firefox are popular web browsers.
Internet Explorer is the most popular web browser to install Chrome or Firefox with.

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