A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
...

This just in! A recent survey conducted has found some interesting results!

Out of every 10 people surveyed, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9.

We conducted an online survey....

...and found that out of the world's population, 0% of people are Amish.

A scientific study was conducted on ants...

There was a scientific study conducted on various species of ants investigating the correlation between their heights and how their feet operate.
Shorter ants were found to have little nubs on the end of their feet that operate similarly to toes on humans and primates.
This was not seen in lar...

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A survey was conducted for poor tennis players who were bad at sex

It was decided on a worst come worst serve basis

A beautiful young psychologist conducted an experiment

She asked 2 men, a mathemetician and an engineer to disrobe and stand on one side of the room. She then undressed and stood on the other side.

She told them to come half the distance towards her. Each man took eight steps forward. Amunute later, she again told them to come half the distance ...

A recent study was conducted to find out why husbands get out of bed at night.

The results found that 5% were getting a snack, 10% percent were going to the toilet and the remaining 85% were going home.

My company just conducted a one-day motivation training for all the junior employees. It was a roaring success.

All the junior employees are really motivated to find new jobs now.

A researcher conducted a study on the thoughts and feelings of women after having an abortion.

The findings were not a parent.

Scientists recently conducted research on the human brain.

Scientists recently did a study on the roles the right side and left side of the brain had on cognition. They first took out the left half of a man's brain and asked him to count to 10.

He says, "2, 4, 6, 8, 10".

They put the left half back in and removed the right half, asking...

There was once a rich politician (long)

He had everything you could possibly want: countless wealth, endless land, and a beautiful mansion. But he also had an 18-year-old daughter, and she had not yet found a suitable husband.

To ensure that his daughter would find the right man to marry, he conducted a test. He invited every young...

All the anti gravity experiments I conducted gave my son terminal cancer

It was incredibly hard to put him down.

A group of scientists conducted an interesting experiment on frogs.

They wanted to see how cutting off the legs of frogs would affect them.

In one of the experiments, a scientist told the frog to jump. It didn't.

The scientists concluded that cutting off the legs of frogs would make them deaf.

I conducted a survey with 100 women to see which shampoo was the most popular

The number one response was: How the hell did you get in here?

A study conducted in the United States showed that:

1. The popular sport of the urban population is basketball

2. Favourite sport of maintenance people is bowling

3. The favourite sport of the average staff is football

4. The favourite sport of senior staff is baseball

5. The favourite sport of directors is tennis

6...

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A New Study Conducted on Asians (A joke I came up with,but still not sure if a repost)

A new study conducted on Asians shows that the long held to be true stereotype is partially false. In fact, only 50% of Asians have small penises.

The other 50% are women.

A recently conducted study reveals...

Birthdays are good for health

people with more birthdays were found to have lived longer

In a survey conducted in a land far far away it was found that....

6 out of 7 Dwarves are not happy

A recent study conducted in Germany by Professor Bernd Ottovordemgentschenfelde proves that 99.9% of people

skip his name

Did you know that Bob Ross secretly conducted bank heists?

He was the Rob Boss.

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The Study Conducted by the German Scientist

Okay this isn't really a joke but it's kind of interesting, especially if you like dogs. In 1998 a German researcher by the name of Dr. Karl Wagner conducted a study on the agility of dogs. One hundred male dogs and one hundred females dogs each ran a series of increasingly difficult obstacle cours...

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A Covid-19 study produced some startling results.

Data was conducted from a
[email protected] online survey in Italy
from April 7 to May 4, 2020. In it
were 6,821 participants 18 or older
(4177 women, 2,644 men), and
results from it show that erectile
dysfunction was significantly higher
among men than among women.

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A dictator once asked a famous composer if he could write him a brilliant piece of music.

Naturally, the composer was extremely nervous, as the dictator had a habit of giving the death penalty to those who did not please him.

The composer spent weeks working on this piece, and from a musical standpoint it was quite good. So, he gathered his orchestra and performed his piece for th...

You may not be aware of it, but NASA conducted an experiment during the Apollo mission days.

They launched a collection of cows into orbit on a prototype rocket.

It was a herd shot round the world.

I just conducted a survey.

I asked 68 men and 2 women what their views were on equality.

A blind judge conducted a trial..

And even after no one managed to provide a substantial incriminating evidence he still condemned the defendant.
he couldn't see the truth.

A study was just conducted to see what the #1 fear in humans is

The results came back, and it's cats. But something seems a little off. They've only done testing on mice so far

A new test was conducted to study how fat Americans are getting; the test results are as follows:

60% are deemed overweight

30% are deemed morbidly obese

10% ate the test

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A dutch and belgian soldier patroll the river maas. (Srry if repost)

Patrols are conducted on both sides of the river Maas. A Dutch soldier walks on one side, a Belgian soldier on the other. It is early in the morning and there is still some fog on the water.

The Dutch soldier wonders which section of the army the Belgian soldier is on. He wants to ask the Be...

In the year 2010, the Lord came unto Noah and said:

“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unen...

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A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex.

Unfortunately the study was conducted by Bill Cosby.

It was closing time at the bar

It was closing time at the bar and across the street sat a police officer in his cruiser hoping to pick up someone for a DUI. As people were starting to leave the officer saw one man absolutely hammered with his car keys in hand stumbling towards his vehicle, as everyone got in their cars and were l...

Our assassin-hiring firm has recently moved offshore -

no business shall be conducted on continental grounds!

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