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Actions Jokes

So according to Will Smith's actions...

You can ask Jada for head, but you can't talk about her head.

What did Qatar get after spending billions of dollars to stop LGBTQ+ actions in FIFA 2022?

Half naked Argentinian Men Hugging and kissing each other in the end.

Donald Trumps recent actions are unprecedented...

For somebody who's just been un-presidented.

Judge: "How do you explain your actions?"

"Basic math. 2 times 9 equals 18"

I've never been really good at owning up to my actions and responsibilities

Can't believe my parents raised me this way.

President Trump should go on Sesame Street to explain his actions.

It’s important in times of crisis to hold politicians to account

Bob left work Jokes ;)

Bob left work one Friday evening.
But it was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with his mates and spending his entire wages.

When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours...

Why do r/Jokes reposters never face negative repercussions for their actions?

Because they have good Karma.

I was told that my actions could have grim repercussions.

I though ' isn't that what Death sits on?'

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?

His teacher was Plato.

Question: Would you know what actions to take if someone had an epileptic fit in the bath?

"Throw the Laundry in"..

Never Text an Apology

THE ORIGINAL TEXT MESSAGE:
Hi Bob, This is Alan next door. I’m sorry buddy, but I have a
confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few
months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to
your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t l...

I totally believe that there is a man we can not see, watching us from the sky, passing judgment on our actions, and that there are people who live and die according to a plan of his.

But enough about the NSA.

Three people die and appear before Buddha

Stunned by the divine presence before them, they lower their heads.

-Raise your heads. You were humble in life and your deeds were praiseworthy. You have earned the right to a reincarnation of your choice. You have much to accomplish yet though.

One of the people takes a step forward a...

Is this a very old joke?

A Greek lands on a beautiful uninhabited island and writes a poem about it.

A Roman finds another beautiful island devoid of people and he builds a statue to himself there.

A Celt finds yet a third island with no people and starts a fight.

**I just thought of a variant:**
...

A biker is passing the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion’s cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back...

Bruce Willis has admitted to making an "error of judgement" after reportedly being asked to leave a Los Angeles store for refusing to wear a face mask. Apparently, he wasn't even aware of the effects of his actions until a young boy walked up to him and said...

"I see dead people."

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