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Misconduct Jokes

How does the Soylent Green factory deal with workplace misconduct?

Human Resources.

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I knew a cop that was fired for gross misconduct.

sorry, fucking autocorrect...

\*hired

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I got fired from my last job for arranging the vegetables into sexual position

Apparently that's "misconduct" for a special needs teacher.

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There was going to be a great TV show about the Air Force, but one of the actors was accused of sexual misconduct…

so they cancelled the pilot.

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A man and a small sword are both under arrest for sexual misconduct

A detective/ interviewer is being brought to the two sexual predators who are both in separate rooms. First he goes to the room with the man. The man is not constrained and is sitting on a chair. The detective peaks in the window to the room and asks the officer "What exactly did he do?" the officer...

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James Franco responds to claims of sexual misconduct.

“I did not touch them! It’s not true! It’s bullshit! I did not touch them! I did naaaht.

Oh hi Mark.”

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Neil DeGrasse Tyson is now being investigated for sexual misconduct.

But is it really all that surprising that an astrophysicist pulled a Spacey?

What did the group of bees said to the one misconducting bee

Beehive

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If US keeps probing politicians for sexual misconducts

In time there will be no more decent people running the country

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I really liked Harvey Weinstein’s speech about sexual misconduct

It was very touching

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I hope there aren't any sexual misconduct allegations from SpaceX...

I don't think America could handle being Elon-gated

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R. Kelly has made a song denying any sexual misconduct charges that lasts 19 minutes.

Which is unusual because he usually insists on 18 or under.

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Breaking News: Louis C.K. makes first published statement regarding the recent alligations of sexual misconduct.

"I'm Gay."

I made a mistake shaving my privates today

Or "gross misconduct" as my court martial put it

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So its being reported that Neil deGrasse Tyson is having his show pulled from the air due to sexual misconduct allegations. I only have one thing to say about that.

It wasn't actually "pulled from the air". It was removed from a broadcast schedule that includes land, space and over-the-air signal delivery.

Why did the music conductor get arrested?

For misconduct.

Bonus - why did the violinist get arrested?

For violence.

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Whilst trimming my neighbours hedge I was stung on the hand by a wasp. She told me that putting it in cider would soothe the pain.

Well I did that and not only did it do nothing to null the pain, I also now have a court hearing for sexual misconduct!

Been arrested for the 144th time.

Charged with gross misconduct.

Did you hear about the guy with copper wire?

Apparently he got arrested for misconduct.

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I'm making a documentary...

I'm making a controversial documentary that reveals decades of covered-up sexual misconduct in youth tennis programs across the country. It's called *15 - Love*.

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Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a bar. Donald leans over, and With A smile on his face, says, "The media are really tearing you apart for That Scandal."

Hillary: "You mean my lying about Benghazi?"

Trump: "No, the other one."


Hillary: "You mean the massive voter fraud?"

Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "You mean the military not getting their votes counted?"

Trump: "No, the other one."

Hillary: "Usin...

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