President Obama and the Queen are proceeding towards Buckingham Palace in the Queen's carriage, waving to thousands of cheering Britons; all is going well.
Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly the most horrendous earth shattering fart ever heard in the British Empire. The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs to cover their noses.
The Queen turns to her guest, Mr President, please accept my regrets...
Jada has begun divorce proceedings against Will Smith..
How bald of her
The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, “A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.”
“If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!”
There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, “Two thousand five hundred!”
During WW2 a German soldier based in France is proceeding home on leave in a fully loaded passenger train
He shares a compartment with a decrepit lady, a beautiful young French woman, and a young Frenchman. The train enters a tunnel, and no one can see anything.
A kiss is heard, then a hollow slap. When the train comes out of the tunnel, the German has a horrible black eye.
'So unlucky' th...
A lawyer was late for an appointment at his office and decided to run a stop sign.
As luck would have it, a farmer was proceeding through on his tractor at that very moment, and there was a tremendous crash! Fortunately, no one was hurt.
The lawyer decided to go on the offense and jumped out of his car.
"You idiot!" he yelled. "Why weren't you paying attention? Now...
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