New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriend's murder.
Did you hear about the vegetable that was acquitted of murder?
He beet the rap.
Abraham Lincoln's favorite fart joke.
Well, there was a party once, not far from here, which was composed of ladies and gentlemen. A fine table was set and the people were greatly enjoying themselves. Among the crowd was one of those men who had audacity — was quick-witted, cheeky, and self-possessed — never off his guard on any occasio...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why did the defendant orgasm after he was acquitted?
He got off on a technicality.
So a guy kills himself the night he gets acquitted of murder.
No one explained to him what a hung jury meant.
The chicken was acquitted of murder...
... because there was no evidence of fowl-play.
Alan Dershowitz privately counselled Senate Republicans on how to handle the articles of impeachment for Donald Trump
He said “If you’re not Mitt, you must acquit.”
A quid pro quo?
More like acquit pro quo
Paddy O’Toole stood awaiting the verdict of his trial
The judge proclaimed: Patrick O’Toole, there is sufficient evidence to acquit you on all charges. This court finds you innocent of all crimes related to this bank robbery.
Paddy replied: You mean I am free to go?
Judge: Yes. You are free to go.
Paddy: Does this mean I get to ke...
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the fortune teller delivered grave news
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, the young woman stared back at the old woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her shakin...
Hilary Clinton goes to a psychic. The soothsayer tells her, "Your husband will die a horrible violent death."
Hilary asks, "Will I be acquitted?"
A train driver accidentally kills a man when he drives off the tracks
Since he killed a person, the court sentences him to death by electrocution chair. For his last meal, he requests a single banana. The prison guard thought it was odd, but gave him the banana, and the man ate it. The next day, the man is strapped onto the electrocution chair and the executioner swit...
A Canadian was on trial for second-degree murder.
He was acquitted, but he apologized anyway.
Fearing her marriage is crumbling, a middle-aged woman visits a highly respected psychic renown for the accuracy of her predictions.
In a dark and hazy room, she tells the psychic of her fears and growing unhappiness.
The mystic peers into her crystal ball, then looks at the woman an...
A jury finds a man not-guilty in court...
During trial much evidence had been produced that showed the defendant to be guilty. Upon the jury's decision the prosecutor incredulously asked the judge: "Your honor, on what basis could the jury possibly have acquitted the defendant?!" The judge replied: "Temporary insanity". To which...