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Real news: A 95 year old Tennesse man is being deported after admitting his Nazi past. When asked why, as a former Nazi, he is not allowed to stay in the US, he said, "I worked a simple job as a camp guard..."

"it's not rocket science"

I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my Latina mother in law

Who lives at 324 3rd st. Los Angeles. She gets off at 6

I say I say I say, as Home Secretary former UK Prime Minister Theresa May wrongfully deported perhaps hundreds of members of the Windrush generation to a country many of them had never been to or had no memory of.

Jamaica?

No, nobody did. The UK press had kind of lent on her but she actively wanted to do it.

Yugi: Kaiba! How come Your card grabbed my card's groin and threatened to deport it...

Kaiba: You fool! You've activated my Trump card.

Trump tells his agents to deport a million Mexicans and a chicken

When they ask him about the chicken, he replies: 'See? I told you nobody would care about the Mexicans'

So I proposed a new bill to my congressman that would deport 1,000,000 Mexicans and 1 chicken

When he asked about the chicken I said "See no one cares about the Mexicans"

How is Trump going to deport the Mexicans?

Juan by Juan.

A Brazilian man in Mexico doesn't know why the U.S. deported him there.

Can you imagine Hispanic?

One of the Russian acrobats in our human pyramid has just been deported.

Now we don't have Oleg to stand on.

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting millions of illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan

I went to the library and asked for Trump's book about deporting illegal immigrants. She told me, "Get the F*ck out of my country and don't come back."

Me: Yes that's the one.

I just got deported by the government of Austria due to my bad Arnold Scharzenegger impressions, and all the flights to America are full.

Don't worry, I'll just get to the helicoper

"Mr. Trump, have you changed your plans for mass deportation?"

"No, I have not. I will deport 11 million undocumented immigrants and two dogs."

"Why the two dogs?"

"See? Nobody cares about the immigrants!"

Trump is visiting a class

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings. The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my bes...

How will Donald Trump decide which ones to deport?

By separating the good Juans from the bad Juans!

I told my Mexican friend that he was being deported...

You should have seen Hispanic

Trump walks into the Oval office, turns to his administrative team and says, “I want to organise the deportation of 10,000 Muslims and one kitten.

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Mike Pence says. “Mr. President, why do you want to deport a kitten?” Trump smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Muslims.”

I 100% support the Trump Deportation Plan!!

Where should we send him?

I would like to get deported

Said no Juan ever.

2 hardcore Trump supporters die and go to heaven...

Then they get deported for being illegal immigrants

Why did the sick falcon get deported

It was an ill eagle

Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses.

He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."

Trump 20:16

Why should Trump be careful of deporting Mexicans?

It could go south so fast.

Why hasn't Trump deported all the Muslims yet?

Cause he can't get them through airport security.

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So a British Sergeant is deported to Egypt...

And he is forced to live in a mudhut in a small village far from any civilization.

After a few weeks he realizes that he can't fight his sexual urges, but he's too much of a proper gentleman to masturbate. So turns to his servant and asks "My dear Achmed, I feel like my hedonistic urges are t...

I don’t know why people expect to find aliens in Area 51

Trump would have deported them by now!

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An old man tsks at his great-grandson playing Fortnite

"This is what you kids do for fun these days? Why back in my day, we'd go to the Moulin Rouge in Paris, fuck all the dancers, piss all over the bar, and leave without paying!"

He didn't think anything more of it until a month later when his great-grandson limped into his house on a pair of cr...

Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar...

Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump walk into a bar on Christmas Eve.

Bernie Sanders says "Hello, can I have a drink?" and gets a drink.

Donald Trump walks up to the bartender and says "Merry Christmas, can I have a drink? By the way, bartender, you are extremely ugly. I f***ing hate y...

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The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

It's been reported that Donald Trump has recently found Jesus ...

And had him deported.

Trump's first day at the Oval Office after being elected President

First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI:

Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.

CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.

Trump: The Democrats created them.

CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you w...

two foreigners in america are applying for citizenship

They're lined up outside the Citizenship and immigration office, along with many others, not wanting to risk deportation now that Trump is in office.

>Guy #1: I've had enough of this waiting, save my place, I'm going to shoot Donald Trump myself.

several hours later he returns.
<...

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After Kanye and Donald Trump met up the other day, they will be working on a new album together....

The Deportation of Pablo

If Hillary wins I'm leaving the country if trump wins I'm leaving the country.

Not a political repost I'm just getting deported

Milio Yiannopoulos is now an unemployed immigrant on a work visa.

Let's deport him!

Princess Jasmine used the carpet to get into America

She was deported after 2 days because, obviously, she wasn't Aladdin the country

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Lenin headed directly to Heaven after he died.

He thought he had done much good for the oppressed and deserved retirement in Heaven. He arrived at the gates.

"Who's there?"

"Vladimir Ilyich Lenin."

"Okay, okay! Last one in be sure to close the door. It's kind of cold in here..."

God checked Lenin's dossier and decided...

"TRUMP IS GOING TOO FAR"

He deported a printer cause it didnt have papers!!

Hillary, Trump, and Cruz walk into a bar

Hillary Clinton, Donald Trump, and Ted Cruz walk into a bar on Christmas Eve.

Hillary tells the bartender: "Good evening, my man! Pour me a drink, I'm tired and thirsty from all the campaigning."

Donald Trump then says: "Merry Christmas! I want a drink too."

He then looks clos...

So Hillary Clinton recently said half of Tump's supporters are a "Basket of deplorables".

Next Trump will respond saying:

"Half of Hillary's supporters are deportables"

What do you call half of Hillary's voters?

Deportable

I went to the Islamic book store

I went to the Islamic book store in London and asked if they have the book about Muslim deportation.

The guy says get the hell out of here and never come back.
I replied yes that's the one, how much.

Guys, what are your favorite "I'm going to hell for this" jokes?

Here's mine:
What do you call a dead Mexican?
Dearly deported.

What do you do when your lawnmower stops working?

Deport him

What is Donald trumps favorite ESPN Channel?

ESPN Deportes

What is Donald Trump's favorite movie?

Minority Deport

How do you make a pole angry?

Deport him.

I was planning on getting a tan

But now that Trumps President there is a high chance I'll get deported if I'm too dark

Why is Superman scared of ice?

Because Superman is an illegal alien and he might get deported.

I did so much yard work today,

I might get deported.

What did the Mexican family get for Christmas?

Deported

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