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Concerts Jokes

I'm really getting sick of turning up early to concerts

They always promise The Doors will be opening for every band, but they never show up.

I like to pick girls up at cover band concerts

Since I already know they're willing to settle

Two concerts

In my whole life I’ve only ever been to two concerts. I’ve seen Placebo, and I’ve seen The Cure.

They were just as good as each other

What rock group doesn't sing, play instruments or do concerts?

Mt. Rushmore

What does Santa the Rapper say at the beginning of his concerts?

"Where my ho ho ho's at?"

LPT: Always wear hearing protection when you go to concerts

This is sound advice.

Why aren't concerts suitable for children?

Too much sax and violins.

Covid is canceling out all of these fun events like Circus’s, rodeos, and concerts.

In about a month, it will really be no Fair.

What kind of security do they hire for metal concerts?

Coppers

Why do women throw underwear at guitarists at concerts?

Just in case their G-string breaks.

U2 will be performing a number of free concerts in the coming months....

They will be doing them on a *Pro Bono* basis.

In 1982 Elton John attended one of Queen's concerts, but was shortly hospitalized afterwards.

Turns out they found traces of Mercury in him.

In light of the recent video surfacing, Drake has set the cutoff age for his concerts at 16.

Anyone over that is just too old.

Why do the riot police show up at concerts early?

To beat the crowd.

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