I like to pick girls up at cover band concerts

Since I already know they're willing to settle

What does Santa the Rapper say at the beginning of his concerts?

"Where my ho ho ho's at?"

What rock group doesn't sing, play instruments or do concerts?

Mt. Rushmore

Covid is canceling out all of these fun events like Circus’s, rodeos, and concerts.

In about a month, it will really be no Fair.

Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

Why do Anti Vaxxers Hate concerts

They always mix up Placebo and the Cure

Vaccines are a gateway drug.

To concerts and air travel.

In light of the recent video surfacing, Drake has set the cutoff age for his concerts at 16.

Anyone over that is just too old.

LPT: Always wear hearing protection when you go to concerts

This is sound advice.

I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go the Be and Eleven concert

She responds “Oh? I’ve never heard of them before!”
So I say “she’s on the radio all the time, maybe you would know them by their Spanish name “Be Y Once”

What kind of security do they hire for metal concerts?

Coppers

In 1982 Elton John attended one of Queen's concerts, but was shortly hospitalized afterwards.

Turns out they found traces of Mercury in him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman is talking to her husband about how his day at work was.

He told her “Nothing out of the ordinary, I just made sure all the audio jacks were in place during the concerts”

The next day the women is chatting with her friends. One asks her what her husband does for a living. Not quite remembering the details, she replies “jack shit”.

Why do women throw underwear at guitarists at concerts?

Just in case their G-string breaks.

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