What do you call a dancing sheep?

A baa-lerina

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A husband took his wife to a disco on the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor busting tile. He was breakdancing, moonwalking, doing back flips - the works. The wife turned to husband and said: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Her husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"

A teenager has a crush on a girl, and decides to ask her to the prom.

The girls accepts, and the boy is over the moon. Because he wants this night to be perfect, he decides he needs to dress his best, so, a couple of weeks before the prom he looks to rent a tuxedo.

When he gets to the store there are already people waiting in line, but he waits anyway, and get...

What is a penguin’s favorite dancing style?

Pole Dancing

All the mathematical functions are having a party

The polynomials are dancing, the square root function is drinking, yet the exponential function remains to the side.

so the inverse function asks what's wrong.

To which the exponential function responds: whether I integrate or not, nothing will change, now leave.

(courtesy ...

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I was dancing with a woman in a bar and things were getting heated.

"Want to go back to my place?" I asked.

"Of course," she grinned.

"Nice," I replied, handing her my keys. "Just let the dog out for a shit, please."

Why are Democrat robots so bad at dancing?

They were built with bad Al-Gore-rhythms.

I used to do a lot of tap dancing

but I kept falling in the sink

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A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. Unfortunately, the wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.

He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, a...

A seventy year old man goes to the doctor...

A seventy year old man is at the doctor’s office for a routine checkup. After the examination, the doctor tells the man that he is in great physical condition for his age, in fact amazing condition for a man even half his age. The doctor asks how he does it, and the patient tells him that it’s good ...

While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed.

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.


"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."


"No problem, just let ...

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

A man and his wife are sitting down to dinner.

“Ringling Brothers is coming to town this week,” she said. “The poster says they have a dancing bear. I always wanted to see one of those.”

“Maybe next year,” says the man. “Work’s really busy this week.”

The next night at dinner, t...

What do you call a pole dancing chicken

A chicken strip

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At a local college dance, a guy from America asks a girl from Sweden to dance....

While they are dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America,

we call this a hug.”

She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden we call it a hug too.”

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, “In America, we call

this a kiss.”

She replies, “Yaah...

Three women are changing at the gym when a man wearing nothing but a ski mask enters the changeroom and starts dancing in front of the women.

The first woman looks at the man and says, "I don't know who this guy is, but he isn't my husband!"

The second woman takes a closer look at the man. Then she turns to the first woman and says, "You are right. He isn't your husband."

The third woman takes an even closer look and says, "...

US politics is a lot like square dancing.

Move to the right, take one step back, move to the left, take one step forward. Repeat.

Shock Rocker Alice Cooper says he's taken up Tap Dancing during lockdown, with online group lessons every Wednesday

He says he's making slow progress, but doing better than Elton John, who - after six weeks - is still standing.

Woman Decides To Test Her Husband's Love. Then This Happened... LOL!

Not too long ago, there was a woman who felt that her husband was being distant and unloving.

She wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.

She decided to write him a letter saying she was tired of him and didn't want to live with h...

Banta the Furniture dealer



Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find.


After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Lud...

Last night I went dancing with the Tsars

Peter and Nicholas were great, but Ivan was terrible.

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I own a farm and this morning one of my farmhands was dancing naked in front of the tractor.

I asked what the hell are you doing?


He said his wife and him were having problems and the marriage counselor told him he had to do something sexy to a tractor.

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From an old cowboy who frequents my watering hole (hopefully not too country for y'all)

A woman from New York dreams of one day exploring the wild west. After a year of saving and pinching pennies she finally has enough money to make her dreams come true.

After an exciting three weeks she returns home and meets with her girlfriend for drinks.

Her girlfriend asks "How wa...

A man goes to a wedding

And they celebrate as normal until the reception. When he enters the tents, he sees several queues. He sees one to take a picture with the bride and groom, one to throw something at the Mother-in-law, one to pin the dress on the bridesmaid-or if you’re lucky, unpin-, one to request music, one to dan...

A Priest dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing angels approach, and he begins to get excited.

The lead angel approaches the Priest and asks if he would mind stepping aside for a moment.

Surprised, the Priest does as he's asked.

The angels march out of the gates and encircle a man who has also approached the gates. The man is in a bus driver uniform.

The joyous parade of ...

I had a dream last night about dancing chickens...

It was like poultry in motion.

Why did Charlie Brown take his pole dancing routine so seriously?

He was tired of doing comic strips.

With #DiaperDon trending on Twitter, his weird dancing makes since.

He’s trying to wiggle out his poo.

First day as a cop:

Newbie cop: Suspect is dancing naked on the plaza, I repeat, suspect is dancing naked

Dispatch: Roger, copy that

Newbie cop: ...I can try but I'm not much of a dancer?..

A boy plans on taking his girlfriend to prom.

A boy plans on taking his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever.

Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there’s a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flower...

I've recently taken up tap dancing.

Unfortunately I keep falling into the bath.

I got thrown out of the dentist's surgery for dancing.

I mean, he's the one who asked me to floss...

Yesterday I started singing and dancing by myself at the food court

That's how I learned that flash mobs are planned ahead of time.

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A man is trying to find his way in a new town

One day he's walking along main street in the town, being ignored by all the other townsfolk when a man in a pickup pulls up and gets his attention.


"You look like you're new in town there sir," the driver said.


"Yeah I am," said the man.


The man in the pickup...

TIL the lead singer of Chumbawumba is married to a champion breakdancer. She had to give up dancing when she fell pregnant but, only three months after giving birth, successfully defended her title at the World Championship.

She got knocked up, but she got down again.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't Baptists have sex standing up?

Someone might think they are dancing.

The Jar

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about two inches in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it wa...

When COVID is over I’m going to go dancing with random people and insult them.

Social diss dancing.

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Pool Party

A rich North Carolina man had a party and invited all his neighbors, including Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating and flirting with all the women. The host said, "I have...

If I ever win the lottery Im giving all my money to charity

If shes not dancing that night Im giving it all to Destiny

I was nervously dancing with my colleague at the Christmas party

As she leant her head on me she said “You smell nice, what have you got on?”

I sheepishly replied “A hard on, but I didn’t think you could smell it...?”

Why are dogs so bad at dancing?

Because they have two left feet.

In order to stay healthy during this pandemic, I’ve been dancing in public while insulting people.

I practice social diss dancing.

I walked past a woman in the club who was dancing on the table.

She was at least 300lb.

I said "those are some strong legs!"

She smiled and said "Thanks!"

I said "I was talking about the table."

Pastor wakes up one beautiful Sunday morning

It's such a nice day that he decides to play golf, and so he calls in sick to the church. On his way to the course, St Peter and God are watching from above. St Peter asks God, "Are you going to let him get away with this?" God shakes his head On the first tee, a par 5, the Pastor gets gets off a tr...

A man and his girlfriend were dancing in a club

The man gets thirsty and decides to go and find a drink. He tries the bar but the line is really long and he wants to get back to his girlfriend. He decides that the water cooler might be a better option but when he gets there the line is also really long. He is getting worried about his girlfriend ...

I had to give up my tap-dancing career.....

I kept slipping and landing in the sink.

What do you call it when a white guy is dancing and has a seizure?

An improvement.

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance night.

She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally, he gets his suit.


Going all out, he decides to buy flowers for the girl, so he goes to the flower shop next. The flower shop has a long queue as well, so he waits and waits until h...

An elderly couple is dancing a waltz.

Halfway through the second dance the guy, an old sailor, asks his wife:"Darling, would you mind spinning the other way round?"
"Of course, why?"
"Because you're unscrewing my wooden leg!"

A man finally gets the girl of his dreams

After she yes to dating him, he’s so ecstatic he takes her to the mall to go shopping. And after a few minutes of shopping, he notices the line for the cashier stretched long, around the mall. But he’s too excited to care for long.

Next his girlfriend suggests lunch, which both are quite hung...

Facebook keeps suggesting that I watch videos of former American Vice Presidents dancing.

All to do with the Al Gore rhythms, apparently.

A cop sees a dancing suspect

Cop: Suspect is engaging in high-profile break-dancing in the main square

Radio: Copy that

Cop: I’ve had a couple breakdance lessons but I’m no way as good as him sir

What do you call a pretty girl you only take line dancing?

A Slide Piece

What did the dancing queen use to solve her math problems?

An ABBA-cus.

I was on my way to work the other day and i passed a busker playing 'Dancing Queen' on the didgeridoo.

I thought to myself 'thats Abbariginal'...

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This blonde woman was at a nightclub and started dancing with a big black man. Things were going well and she later invited him home. When they got inside she threw her arms around him and whispered in his ear: "I want you to prove that what they say about black men is true"

So he stabbed her and stole her purse.

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