This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Ladies, you need to work on your chat up lines

'Fuck off loser' is never going to get me in to bed.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Women have absolutely no idea how to chat up us guys.

As if "Fuck off you loser" was going to get me into bed.

I decided to chat up the person next to me at the sperm bank yesterday.

I said, "Do you come here often?"

Creepy Chat Up Line

Guy: Is your Father in prison?

Girl: Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in my eyes?

Guy: No, because if I was your Father I'd be in prison.

Whatโ€™s the most effective chat up line in the world?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Politically correct chat up line

20th century man in a bar - "hey gorgeous can I buy you a drink?"

21st century man in a bar - "I consider you aesthetically pleasing and on that basis request permission to purchase for you a beverage. If this is acceptable to you, please read this contract and in the boxes provided list you...

A man begins to chat up a girl at a bar.

She is uninterested and in an attempt to get rid of him she says,
"I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth!"

The man replies,
"If that were the case, who would be there to stop me?"

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Man walks into a singles bar...

A man walks into a single bar looking for some action. He orders a drink and sees a gorgeous woman sitting at the bar , extremely well dressed sexy but classy.

He goes up to and says "hi.." and before he can try his chat up lines she looks him up and down and says "I don't care what your name...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

So, there's these two tomatoes who are best friends ...

Ever since they grew up on the vine together, they've been inseparable. They played little league together, they had home room together all through high school, they even double dated to prom and shared a limo. As time went on, though, they slowly lost touch. During university they slowly lost touch...

[long] A kangaroo walks into a bar...

and says to the bartender, "gimme a beer." The bartender is stunned at the sight of a talking kangaroo and doesn't move. The kangaroo misinterprets this and says "I have money" while putting a $20 on the bar.

The bartender snaps to his senses and serves a beer. He takes the $20, then goes ...

Happy Paddy's Day lads and lasses

Irish chat up line:
Have ya got any Irish in ya?
I don't.
Well would ya like some?

A German joke

An old man was travelling by train from his hometown of Offenburg to visit family in Frankfurt am Main. It was quite a journey for him, since he never got around much.

At one time the conductor walks by yelling "HEIDELBERG, GET OFF!" The man thinks, "That's my name!" and gets off the train ma...

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