Chat Up Jokes

Guy: Is your Father in prison?

Girl: Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in my eyes?

Guy: No, because if I was your Father I'd be in prison.

20th century man in a bar - "hey gorgeous can I buy you a drink?"

21st century man in a bar - "I consider you aesthetically pleasing and on that basis request permission to purchase for you a beverage. If this is acceptable to you, please read this contract and in the boxes provided list you... read more

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

I said, "Do you come here often?"

Here’s a guide for any Americans guys visiting Ireland.

The best way to chat up an attractive looking woman in Ireland is to ask her: “So, what part of Poland are you from?”.

She is uninterested and in an attempt to get rid of him she says,
"I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth!"

The man replies,
"If that were the case, who would be there to stop me?"

and says to the bartender, "gimme a beer." The bartender is stunned at the sight of a talking kangaroo and doesn't move. The kangaroo misinterprets this and says "I have money" while putting a $20 on the bar.

The bartender snaps to his senses and serves a beer. He takes the $20, then goes ... read more

Irish chat up line:
Have ya got any Irish in ya?
I don't.
Well would ya like some?