We did a DNA test on our bullfrog from Arkansas…

Surprisingly, it was about 80% French, 15% German, and a tad Pole…

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender considers it, then agrees.

The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat.

He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano.

The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he ask...

Bullfrog

If Kermit's astrological sign is Taurus, does that make him a Bullfrog?

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A hitchhiker gets picked up by a trucker with a bullfrog on his dashboard.

The hitchhiker guy stares at the bullfrog for a while, fascinated by the animal, while the truck driver just grins. After a while, the truck driver decides to show him what's what. He pulls over by the side of the road.

"Watch this!"

He takes the bullfrog by the legs and SLAMS its head...

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The Bullfrog

A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.

After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.

She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.

Well, said the clerk, I have a very large bullfrog. The...

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The bullfrog (NSFW)

A man went into a porno-shop on day, looking for something to spice up his sex life.

He asked the teller "what would you suggest?"

The teller replied "since i don't know much about your situation, I do have one thing that may help"

The man reluctantly replied "what would that ...

A rabbi goes into a bar

with a HUGE bullfrog on his shoulder. Bartender looks up at him, and says "Where in the WORLD did you get that thing????". Bullfrog answers "Brooklyn, they're EVERYWHERE!".



Credit to JP

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A Chassidic Jew walks into a bar...

He's wearing a long black frock coat, his ear locks are curled and dangling, and he's got a large bullfrog just sitting on his shoulder. The bartender turns around, sees him, and says, "hey, where'd you get that thing?" The bullfrog croaks, "in Brooklyn, there's hundreds of them!"

A man walks into a bar and makes a bet with a bartender.

"I'll show you a trick, and if you think the trick is good enough, you give me a drink on the house." The bartender, having had a pretty boring day, accepts.

The man takes a rat out of his pocket and an equally tiny piano out of his other pocket. He sets the piano on the bar, and the rat jump...

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Two farmers meet in the middle of a field

One farmer says to the other

“what are you doin with that chicken wire”

He responds “well I’m gonna go into town and get me a chicken”

“You can’t get no chicken with a chicken wire” responds the farmer

And sure enough the next day the farmer came back with a truck load ...

A duck walks into a library...

A duck walks into a library and stands in front of an understandably puzzled librarian. It quacks once. In a moment of inspiration, the librarian decided that the bird wishes to borrow a book so she places an appropriate volume under one of its wings. The duck waddles out.
The next day the duck ...

A chicken goes into the library.

A chicken goes into the library, walks up to the librarian, and says, "Book."

The librarian says, "You want a book?"
"Book"
"Any book?"
"Book"

So the librarian gives the chicken a novel and off it goes. An hour later, the chicken come back and says, "Book-book."

The lib...

A chicken walks into a library

He goes up to the librarian and says "bok", so the librarian gives him a book, which he takes away.

The next day the chicken returns to the library and, returning the previous book, says "bok bok". So the librarian gives him two books, and the chicken goes off on his merry way again.
...

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A man was cursed with a 4ft penis.

It was so big, it impacted everything he did. He could hardly get around, let alone have sex. So one day he goes to a doctor and the doctor tells him, "I'm sorry, there's really nothing I can do for you, try the plastic surgeon." So he goes to the plastic surgeon, and he says, "I'm sorry, there's re...

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Christmas eve pet store purchase

A guy frantically runs to the pet store on christmas eve and go's up to the owner-

Guy - I'm needing a puppy for my wife for christmas. I know I've left it late but can you please help!?

Store Owner - sorry son. your shit out of luck it being christmas eve n all, the cute pets are all ...

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An old man goes fishing by himself....

He has been a widower for the last 15 years and really has not been social since his wife passed. One day he decides to go out fishing early in the morning, so he packs up his canoe and gear and heads out to a local pond. Hours pass and he has not caught a thing, from the other side of the pond he h...

The Librarian & The Chicken - Finally found a place to tell this joke.

Librarian is working at the checkout desk when a chicken walks up and say "Book, book". The Librarian looks around and thinks someone is playing a practical joke on her so she decides to play along and picks out a couple of books for the chicken. Chicken takes the books and walks out of the Librar...

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A man walks into a bar.....

A man walks into a bar, sits down in front of the bartender and looks around.
He says” If I can show you the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen can I get a free drink?”
Bartender replies “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pretty amazing things in my day……sure, if you can top them, free drink on me...

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