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Fruit Flies Jokes

Two fruit flies are out on a date.

“This date is amazing!”
“Yeah, but it’s already half eaten.”

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Bedbugs go into beds, fruit flies go into fruit

Introducing: The Cockroach

Why do fruit flies hate stephen hawking

He was a vegetable

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A 70 year old virgin Nun goes to a gynecologist

Because she is experiencing some discomfort. When she explains what’s going on, the gynecologist runs some tests. Later he came back into the room and told the nun that her tests are positive for crabs. “That’s impossible, my body hasn’t been touched by anyone.” She says to him. So she leaves to go ...

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Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana...

and butterflies like margarine.

Time flies like an arrow...

...but fruit flies like a banana.

Probably, a lot of you already know this one. But I posted it from a -- *ahem* -- 'philosophical' consideration (not a really good idea for a joke subreddit).

But I think about this joke from time to time. Not only is it a complex double pun -- flie...

So an old Nun goes to the gynecologist...

...for her normal check up. The doctor checks her out, and tells her the bad news. "Sister, I hate to tell you this, but you've got crabs." With a look of panic on her face, she says "That's impossible, I've never been with anyone! Can you look again?" Reluctantly, the doctor agrees to have another ...

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A German, a Frenchman, and a Irishman walk into a pub.

The pub was known for being a wee bit of a dive. Dirty, poor service, but the three men were poor and the drinks were always cheap. They welcomed themselves into the pub and sat at the bar.

Notoriously, the service was poor. The barkeep chatted with other bar patrons for a good long while bef...

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There was this 80 year old virgin...

There was this 80 year old virgin that started getting itchy... down there....

So, she goes to the gynecologist. The dr does the examination and reports "ma'am, i'm sorry to tell you, but it appears you've contracted an STD. We'll need to do further testing to confirm." The lady is outraged! ...

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