*tips fedora at mosquito*


What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito


What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?

You can't combine a vector and a scaler!

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

The mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.

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A mosquito flies above a river...

In the river there is a fish.
The fish thinks: If that mosquito just flies down a little bit, i can jump and eat that mosquito

Next to the river sits a bear
The bear thinks: If that mosquito flies down a little bit, and the fish grabs it. I can grab the fish.

Behind the bear in t...

What did the mosquito who plays Nintendo say when he bit you?

It's a me, Malario!

To be stung by a mosquito is not very pleasant.

But the thought that an insect with just 10 brain cells could mess up your entire night is something quite different.


A couple went 2 see a film at a theatre...

A mosquito enters the girl's skirt..

Guess where it bites?


Dirty Mind...
Always thinking bad and naughty......


It bites the BOY'S HAND...!

Why cant a mosquito stand on his feet?

because they dont have mosquiTOES.

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I've been getting my dick sucked A LOT this Summer...

I should really put some pants on and do something about all these fuckin' mosquitoes.

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A mosquito bit my balls last night

Got my balls sucked,later virgins

How did the scientist invent the mosquito repellent?

He started from scratch

I was about to slap a mosquito that’s still in the middle of sipping my blood...

But then I realised that we have exactly the same blood in our bodies. We are family now.

A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.

I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch"

What does an African neck beard mosquito say?


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What’s small, long and will put something in a girl’s body she doesn’t want?

A mosquito carrying ebola.

That’s what my ex-girlfriend called my dick, anyway.

What do you call an Italian and African mosquito cross-breed?

Is a me! Malario!

A mosquito asks her son

"How was your first flight?"
The son answers: "I think it was good, everybody clapped for me"

Mosquito bit me 8 times.

Mosquito byte.

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If I put 10 people and 1 mosquito in a room...

... the fuckin mosquito will still get out of the room to find me instead.

A Mosquito landed on my wife's face...

Easiest decision of my life..

How do you know if the mosquitos are really big?

When their sucking feels good.

A joke told my my grandfather about when he was stationed in the woods in the army.

It is only when you see a mosquito land on your balls...

that you realize there's always a way to solve problems without using violence.

A bee, a fly, and a mosquito signed up for a website that sometimes stings, usually stinks, and mostly sucks. What website is this?


A mosquito bit Hillary Clinton the other day...

It was later found to have hit itself in the back of the head with a fly swatter.

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Why did the cockroach break up with his mosquito girlfriend?

He saw her sucking someone else.

What do you call a mosquito sitting on your wife's cheek?

A golden opportunity

I saw a mosquito flying over my head and i caught it

Then, I took off its wings and I shouted to it "Go Fly!"
but it didnt fly.
Conclusion: Mosquitoes go deaf when you remove their wings

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I got bitten by a mosquito last night

I bet that little bastard is really hungover now!

Mosquitos are like family...

Annoying but they carry your blood.

I just sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.

Now he'll never have any friends.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets...

then every year we could save millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of aids.

I love being a mosquito...

People always clap when I'm around!

Beggars are like mosquitos...

You hope for cold weather, so they will stop bothering you.

A teacher asked learners in a class, what's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?

All learners kept quiet except Mike Mike: a mosquito can fly but a fly can't mosquito

I sprayed insect repellant on a mosquito

It didn't kill him right away. He eventually committed suicide because he couldn't stand to be around himself.

There's nothing scarier then a mosquito

coming out of Magic Johnson's house

I caught a mosquito in my hand..

It sucked.

What disease do neckbeard mosquitos give you?


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