UPJOKE
lakelagoonswampwaterbrookriverreservoirfishpoolbody of waterpuddlemereaquariumlakestrout

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..

Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.

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An old farmer was sitting on his porch one day when a man walked up and asked if he minded if he fished in the farmers pond. The old farmer said โ€œgo right ahead.โ€

A couple of hours later, the man came back and asked the farmer if he had a bucket he can use. โ€œI found some milkweed in your field and want to go back and get some milk.โ€ They farmer said โ€œyou canโ€™t get milk from them, thatโ€™s just what theyโ€™re called, but sure, go right ahead.โ€ A little bit later, ...

I saw a bird telling jokes by the pond

It was a silly goose

My little brother won a goldfish at the local fair. Sadly, the next morning he was floating dead in his little pond.

So now I have to look after the fish.

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A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her then jogs away.


The next day he finds her crying again and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day the man sees her cryin...

Did y'all hear about the group of hipsters who drowned at the pond?

Turns out they were ice skating before it was cool

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A man with a 25-inch long penis

goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long.

"Doctor," he asks in total frustration, "Is there any way you can shorten it?"

The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do...

The old man's pool

An elderly man had owned his large farm in Louisiana for many years.

Right at the back of the farm, there was a large pond that was ideal for swimming. The old farmer had fixed it up real nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the farmer d...

Two ducks were sitting in a pond

one of the ducks said: โ€œQuack.โ€ The other duck said: โ€œI was going to say that!โ€

The picky princess and Peasant John

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom ruled by a kind but ageing king. This king had a single daughter, beautiful and clever, but incredibly picky regarding suitors.
At first, the king entertained many foreign princes and young nobles, seeking the hand of his daughter in marriage. However, the pr...

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Jesus, Moses, and a mutual friend play golf.

So Jesus, Moses, and a friend of theirs all go out for a round of golf.

Jesus steps up to the tee. Takes his swing, and it's a nice looking drive, but it ends up in the water hazard and floats to the top. He walks out onto the pond and chips up onto the green.

Moses steps up to the tee...

A man was walking through a park

He stopped by a flock of seagulls sitting on the grass verge next to a pond trying to snap up some worms from the mud. One of the seagulls drops a worm and shouts "oh for god sake".

The man is intrigued that it can talk so he goes and asks it where it's from. "I'm from around London but I tr...

Jesus, Moses and an old man are playing golf. They approach the most difficult water hole on the course.

Moses steps up and puts his drive straight into the hazard. He calmly walks to the edge of the pond and raises his club. The waters part, Moses walks down to his ball, and chips it onto the green.

Jesus, up next, also sends his drive into the drink. He calmly walks out over the water, loc...

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Tortoise and Rabbit. Antagonist view.

A different insight into the story of hare and tortoise:-

E๐’—๐’†๐’“๐’š๐’๐’๐’† ๐’•๐’‰๐’“๐’๐’–๐’ˆ๐’‰๐’๐’–๐’• ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’˜๐’๐’“๐’๐’… ๐’‰๐’‚๐’” ๐’Œ๐’†๐’‘๐’• ๐’ˆ๐’Š๐’—๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’†๐’™๐’‚๐’Ž๐’‘๐’๐’† ๐’๐’‡ ๐‘ป๐’๐’“๐’•๐’๐’Š๐’”๐’†โ€ฆ ๐‘บ๐’‚๐’š๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ ๐’•๐’‰๐’‚๐’• ๐’”๐’๐’๐’˜ ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’”๐’•๐’†๐’‚๐’…๐’š ๐’˜๐’Š๐’๐’” ๐’•๐’‰๐’† ๐’“๐’‚๐’„๐’†, ๐’‚๐’๐’… ๐’†๐’Ž๐’‘๐’‰๐’‚๐’”๐’Š๐’›๐’Š๐’๐’ˆ...

Interestingly enough, scientists have discovered a fascinating new species of frog, named the โ€œRomulan Pond Frogโ€ that has an amazing way of evading predators.

In the press release, scientists showed footage of the frogs using a special call that appeared to disorient predators, leaving them unable to precisely locate the frogs.

Scientists are calling this special call a "croaking device."

What do you call a lake that's desperately trying to be modest?

A koi pond.

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The Moral of the Story

There once was a fly, hovering above a pond.

The fly was thinking "I'm awfully thirsty, I think I'll go down to the pond and have a drink."

What the fly didn't know was that a fish was watching him thinking "That fly is looking awfully thirsty. When he comes down to get something to d...

A duck gets in trouble for blowing bubbles in the pond.

A flock of ducks are in a pond.
One day, a particular duck, whom weโ€™ll call Quack, found himself upset over seeing another duck blowing bubbles in the pond.
So upset, in fact, he decides to take the duck (whose name was Waddle) to court.

Once in court, the duck is is called to the duck...

An engineer is walking beside a pond...

..when a frog hops out onto the path and says "Please, sir, I am a beautiful princess. A kiss from you will release me from the evil spell that turned me into a frog!"

The engineer smiles, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket.

A commotion ensues in his pocket, and he takes the ...

Why was the pond embarrassed?

Because you could see itโ€™s bottom.

My 8yo came up with this one.

A Joke for those of you across the Pond.

I feel like the double decker bus is a bad invention for one reason. Well, more like three reasons. It is the only time where you can get in a car crash, fall down the stairs, and be in England at the same time.

I spent the afternoon by my wife's grave...

...she thinks it's going to be a fish pond

Just hurt my wrists digging a hole between two koi ponds.

I think it's carpal tunnel.

The Tale of Arnold Chegwin

When Arnold Chegwin was a young man, he decided that he wanted to be a pub.
He loved the pub after spending time in his local, "The Queen's Arms". 'I'd love to be a pub', he would think.
With a roaring fire and everybody inside me laughing away...

As time passed and he grew older, he se...

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What if iPhones auto-corrected duck instead of f*ck?

"I went to the park and fed some fucks by the pond today."

A guy was watching TV and his wife came in and said, "The car won't start. I think there's water in the carburetor."

The guy was annoyed and said, "You don't even know what a carburetor is, let me diagnose the problem...where's the car?" And his wife said, "In the pond in front of our house."

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A cat falls in a pond and a rooster laughs.

The moral of this story? A wet pussy makes a cock happy.

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A man goes duck hunting at a local pond, he feels the need to relieve himself...

so he leans his shotgun up against a tree and starts to take a whiz, when suddenly a strong gust of wind comes along, and knocks the gun over. The weapon goes off and shoots birdshot into the man's penis.

Later, at the hospital, the doctor gives him the news: "I'm afraid your penis sustained...

A librarian is at work at a pubic library and sees a chicken walk in.

The chicken walks up to the counter and says "book, book, book, book."

This continues until the librarian passes a book to the chicken who takes it and pushes it out the door.

A few minutes later the chicken comes right back on, pushes the book up to the counter and says "book, book, b...

An 80 year old man finds a talking frog

An 80 year old man is out by a pond one day when a frog jumps onto a lily pad nearby.

โ€œExcuse me sir,โ€ says the frog, โ€œI know I may appear to be just a frog, but Iโ€™m actually a beautiful princess. A witch has placed a curse on me to keep me in this form. The only thing that can break this cu...

How many misogynists did it take to save Timmy from downing in the pond?

It was a well, actually.

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An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "G...

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So a guy and a girl are on a date, when they walk past a pond with swans in it.

The girl turns to the guy and says โ€œI can talk to animals.โ€ The guy looks at the girl and says โ€œI gotta see this!โ€ So the girl turns to the swans and says,

โ€œHEY SWANS, FUCK YOU!โ€

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An Amish farmer is walking through his field when he sees a guy drinking from his pond, scooping it up with his hand.

The farmer says,
"Trinken sie nicht das wasser, die
kuhe unddie schweine haben in ihm
geschissen," which means, 'Don't
drink the water, the cows and the
pigs shit in it'


The guy shouts back, "I'm a Trump
supporter, and this is America. I
don't understand your gibberi...

An old farmer was picking apples. After filling up a bucket and walking back to the farm, he saw a group of beautiful women swimming in his pond

As he got closer, he realized they were skinny dipping. When the group noticed the old farmer approaching them, one girl shouts to him "we are not coming out until you turn away". The farmer, thinking quick, holds up the bucket of apples and says "I'm just here to feed the gator anyway"

What kind of bedding can you buy at Walden Pond?

Thoreau pillows!

Clinton and Trump are drowning in a pond.

You can save only one of them. What kind of sandwich do you make?

A chicken walks into a library, goes up to the desk and says "buk".

So the librarian gives the chicken a book. The chicken walks outside with the book and comes back 5 minutes later without the book.

"Buk, buk" says the chicken again, so the librarian gives it another book, it walks outside and returns with no book.

"Buk, buk" it says, and the same ...

A naked Tarzan sees an elephant drinking from the pond.

The elephant after seeing him approach says, "How much water can you drink from that tiny thing son?"

My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise?

-Because the other fish were crying.

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Charles the duck was sitting by the muddy edge of the pond.

Suddenly a female duck fell out of the sky and landed head first into the mud with her rear sticking up. Another nearby duck, thinking he had won the lottery, quickly mounted the female, but she reared up and threw him off forcefully.

It was a Chuck duck cuck muck luck fuck buck.

A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...

when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?

The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the ...

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Old man Sitting on his front porch. (Long)

One afternoon he see a kid ride past on his bike with a roll of chicken wire. The old guy asks: "Where are you heading with that chicken wire son?"

"I'm gonna catch me some chickens down at the park".

"You don't catch chickens with chicken wire"

The old feller shakes his head ...

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A German guy jumped into a pond to save my dog from drowning....

I said thanks! Are you a vet?

Vet? Iโ€™m fucking soaked!

Two college girls went skinny dipping in a pond

Suddenly a farmer comes over with a bucket and they scream and cover themselves.

"What are you doing, you pervert?!" One of them shouts.

The farmer then pours the bucket of fish into the water.

"Oh don't worry, I'm just here to feed the alligators,"

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Through a poorly-worded genie wish, a man now has a 20-inch-long penis.

While the bragging rights were good for a few days, the man soon realizes that his dick is uncomfortable and unusable, and he must find a solution. He begins asking the local enchanters and witches if they have any suggestions, and finally gets a lead that the enchanted forest over yonder is home to...

What happened to Frรจre Jacques when he fell into the pond?

He got alouette.

There were three ducks swiming in a pond one night after midnight and got arrested for trespassing. They were called to apper in court the next day

So the judge called up duck #1 and asked what were you doing in a pond swiming after midnight

The duck said "blowing bubbles"

So then the judge called up duck #2 and asked the same question and the duck said

"blowing bubbles".

Then the judge called up duck #3 and said l...

What do you call a frog that jumps closer and closer to a pond, but never jumps in?

An asymptoad.

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A rich man and a poor man are sitting by a frozen pond one December

They come to discussing the Christmas presents that they've bought for their respective wives. The rich man says "I got my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedez Benz". The poor man is astounded at his rich friend's largess. He asks "why did you get her the jewelry *and* the car?" The rich man says ...

From my 11 year old cousin: What do you get if you cross a pond with snowshoes?

Wet.

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The other day I went for a jog in the park and began my routine of running laps around the pond.

On my first lap I noticed a girl in a wheelchair crying. I approached her and asked why she was crying. She told me "I'm crying because I've never been hugged!" Feeling sympathetic, I hugged her and she said "Thank you! I feel so much better!" as her tears subsided.

I continued jogging and as...

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Horny Rooster

A farmer is in dire straights as his only rooster died. Desperate, he went to his neighbors farm to see if he might be able to purchase one of his.

The neighbor said he only had one for sale, but warned the farmer, this is one horny rooster. He'll screw pretty much anything!

With no ...

A landscaper is adding a bunch of sand along the edge of a pond...

He looks at the guy who owns the pond and asks "do you really want me doing this?"

The man snaps back, "YES! JUST KEEP WORKING!"

The landscaper replies "ok! Jeez! I'm just makin' shore!"

A Black guy and an Asian guy are standing next to a pond.

A Black guy and an Asian guy are standing next to a pond. The Asian guy says, "This pond is Magical, if you skip a stone across it, you will hear the names of your ancestors." So the Asian guy picks up a stone and skips it, the stone makes a sound with each splash, "CHING-CHANG-CHONG." The black guy...

Late for school

Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has to tell a big lie explaining why.

The teacher tells the headmaster that she is fed up with his exaggerations.

The headmaster tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he turns up late.

He'll t...

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In the middle of a beautiful forest there is a pond filled with clear, cool water.

Flying about six inches above the pond is a fly. The fly is thinking "I'm thirsty. If I drop down to the surface of the pond I can get a drink".

Unknown to the fly a fish is quietly watching it and thinking "That fly looks thirsty. If it drops down to get a drink I can swim up and eat it. Tha...

What do you call a heifer in a pond?

A moist cow-lette

I overheard an extremely perverted frog at the pond yesterday.

Kept saying "rubbit"

A city guy drives into the country and sees some ducks at pond...

He walks up to the ducks and asks them their name and what theyโ€™re up to.

The first duck says โ€œHi, my name is Quack and Iโ€™m just blowing bubbles.โ€

The man then goes to the second duck and the duck says โ€œHi, my name is Quack Quack and Iโ€™m just blowing bubbles.โ€

So, when the man g...

Once upon a time, there were 3 little ducks who lived by a peaceful pond.

One day they got into trouble and were sent to Bob, the duck who was in charge of the pond.
The first one stepped up in front of Bob and looked shamefaced.


Bob asked, "Whatโ€™s your name?"

The little duck replied, "Duck."

"Why did you get sent to me?" queried Bob.

...

BREAKING NEWS: Ethiopian falls into crocodile pond

17 crocodiles confirmed dead so far, with Ethiopian still actively feeding.

A kid walks past a pond

A kid walks past a pond, when at that moment a fish comes up in the water.

Fish : "Heey kid, i am a magic fish, and I will grant you a wish."

Kid : "Well i don't have a wish but i do have a question. Is that ok ?"

Fish : "Sure what is your question ?"

Kid : "Can you ev...

Three Ducks Are Blowing Bubbles In A Pond...

There was once a pond where there was a law against blowing bubbles in the pond and after one drunken night three ducks turn themselves in for committing the crime. They go to their court date and the judge asks to see the first duck and he says to the duck โ€œwhat do you have to say for yourself?โ€ Th...

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A rabbi and a priest are out for a walk through the park.

It's a hot summer day and as they pass by a pond, the rabbi suggest taking a bath to cool down a little.
The priest is hesitant at first, but since they're at a remote spot with noone around, he agrees.

Just as they have finished taking off their robes a group of ladies is jogging by. ...

A Vole and the Farmer

A Vole and the Farmer are sitting on a tractor tire after a long day of working. Farmer goes "what in the Sam hell are you so tired over you didn't do a damn thing but just sit around like a field mouse"

Well the vole says "a life of a vole is very hard. We do lots of things such as burrow t...

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What's in a name?

An American college student visits Ireland while traveling throughout Europe. He finds a quiet town and enters a pub. It's empty save for the bartender and an old man at the far end of the bar. The American student sits down and politely orders a Guinness.

The old man speaks loudly and unprom...

Walking along a pond a heard a turtle ribbit

I guess you could say he has a reptile dysfunction

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The Fly (a tad long, but bear with me)

On a hot midsummer afternoon a fly was hovering over a pond thinking, "if I just go two inches down, the moisture from the pond will cool me".

But, unknown to the fly, a fish was watching the fly from under the water thinking, "if the fly comes just two inches down, I can jump up and gobble i...

Meet my good friend 50 Cent, or as he's known across the pond...

10,000 Pounds

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in english.


What's yellow and lies in a pond?

An excevator.

You don't think this is funny?

Neither does the operator.

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The Aquatic Research Fish ponds overflowed last night because of heavy Rain.

it flooded the residential area nearby. A man walked into his back yard the next morning and saw his entire basement was filled with water, and hundreds of fish swimming in his pool. He went in his house and called his insurance company. He told the representative what happened. She replied "Sorry, ...

Moses, Jesus, and an old man go golfing...

Theyโ€™ve been going for a bit now and theyโ€™re at the final hole. Itโ€™s a large course with a big lake right in the middle of the fair lane, with the hole on the other side.

Jesus goes first. He hits the ball and it lands on the shallows of the lake. Jesus walks across the water and hits it and...

Three ducks in a pond

There were three ducks in the pond that all got arrested. On their day in court the first duck approaches the bench.

The judge askes: "what were you doing in the public pond?"
Duck 1: "I was only blowing bubbles"
Judge: "Well you can't do that so I will give you 3 days in jail and $...

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Mr and Mrs Ponds

Mr Ponds was a voracious reader , who had read books on every possible subject. Mrs Ponds on the other hand was a woman of action. She actually went out and experienced things herself. Whether it be big adventures or small local activities, she occupied her time doing things.


At dinner pa...

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The fly and the pond.

There is a fly 6 inches above a pond, in that pond there is a fish, the fish is thinking "if that fly goes 6 inches lower i could eat it". There is a bear on the shore of the pond and is thinking "if that fly goes 6 inches lower the fish could get the fly and i could get the fish!" There is a hunter...

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My favorite joke

I went to go visit my friend Chuck on his farm out in Greater Minnesota, and he's showing off his barn, crops, and livestock. When we get to the swine corral, there's an enormous boar... with three wooden legs.

So I ask him, "why does that pig have three wooden legs?"

"Well, Steve, tha...

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A monkey is smoking a joint on a tree..

..a lizard comes by and asks: "monkey why are your eyes so red?", monkey replies: "i'm smoking a joint, do you want some?". Confused lizard asks: "i don't know, what's a joint?" Monkey says to him to come up to tree and he'll show him. After two joints they are both waisted and the lizard complains ...

How do you know it's safe to feed the ducks the same thing as the Canadian geese down at the pond?

Because what's good the goose is good for Merganser.

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Once there was a man with a 15 inch penis.

He absolutely hated it, because it was too big for any woman to handle. Every time he tried to have sex, he ended up accidentally hurting his partner.

One day he went to the witch at the edge of town and asked her to help him make it smaller. "I cannot do that," said the witch, "But I do know...

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How do you respond to someone calling you a grammar nazi?

You call them antisemantic!

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The enchanted princess

An old man is walking in a park and hears a voice by a pond.

"Sir, I am an enchanted princess. If you set me free, I promise, Iโ€™ll be your sex slave forever."

The old man looks around but can see nothing.

As he's walking away, he hears the voice again.

"Sir, please let m...

How the grandkids view us old folks (Long)

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lips...

Just made this up: whats the no.1 movie for fish at the moment?

JAMES POND. NO TIME TO FRY!

Jesus and Moses were playing some Golf

As they approached one particular hole, a short Par 3, with a pond where the hole was located right at the edge of the pond.

You know, Moses, this hole is designed just like hole 15 at Pinehurst. I once watched Jack Nicholas use a 9 iron to get a hole in one here!

As he pulled out his...

The chicken walked into a library...

chicken walked into a public library, marched up to the desk and said, โ€œBok, bok , bok, bok.โ€

So, the librarian handed the bird a book, the chicken accepted it and then left.

Ten minutes later, the chicken returned, threw the book on the desk and said, โ€œBok, bok, bok, bok.โ€

Once...

Three sisters get married, each to another man

The men's now mother in-law decides to test all of them.

She decides to take each of them on a walk separately.

The mother in-law takes the first guy on a walk. She "accidentally" falls into a deep pond. The man doesn't hesitate, he jumps in and saves her. The next day, the man gets a...

A pond would tell you about introspection

if it wasn't so busy self-reflecting.

The Three-Legged Pig

So, there's a traveling salesman who has been on the road for too long. He decides that, to fix his boredom, the next thing he sees he's going to stop and ask somebody about it.

Well wouldn't you know it, he sees a pig with three legs at the edge of a farm.

"Ok," he says to himself. "...

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A chicken walks into a library...

The librarian lifts their gaze with a mixture of curiosity and surprise as the bird hops onto the counter. It tilts its head and, with an air of demand, clucks:

"Book!"

The librarian is taken aback at this odd display. The chicken impatiently taps one foot on the counter.

"Book,...

The Princess and the Frog

One day a Princess was walking in her private garden when she spotted a large frog sitting by the side of the pond, staring at her intensely. Having heard all the magical fairy stories, she approached the frog and asked: "Oh magical frog! Is it true that you will turn into a handsome prince if I kis...

A chicken goes into a library.

He goes up to the counter.

โ€œBook book book!โ€ He squawks.

Amused, the librarian grabs three random books from the return stack and gives them to the chicken who leaves with them.

The next day the chicken returns the three books and says โ€œbook book bookโ€ again. He gets his three ...

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The Bear, the Rabbit, & The Magical Golden Frog

A bear & a rabbit were walking through the forest when they happened upon a magical golden frog, sitting alone by a pond. The magical golden frog was such a rare find, that anyone who found him would be granted three wishes.

โ€œWell, since you both managed to find me at the same time, Iโ€™ll...

Who do you call the underwater seaspy?

James Pond

Special Pig

A farmer walks into a bar with a pig with a wooden leg. Bartender says "We don't allow pigs in here". Farmer says "This is no ordinary pig this is a special pig". Bartender asks, "What's so special about it?" Farmer replies, "I was out fishing in my pond, fell out of my boat, I can't swim. Pig broke...

An English farmer was walking through his field

He spotted a intruder crouched down by his pond. As he approached he realised the man was drinking pond water, cupping his hands.

"Oy ye dinnae wanna drink from there. It be full of hoss an' muck!" shouted the farmer.

The man looked up, startled. "Pardon monsieur but i am french. I am ...

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Master Po, why is kung fu so hard?

Grasshopper, have you seen the peace of the sunrise through the morning mists?

\--Yes, Master Po, I have seen this.

Grasshopper, have you seen the patience of the crane as it stands still in the pond until a fish swims by?

\--Yes, Master Po, I have seen this.

Grasshopper,...

Two priests were playing golf...

Father Bob hit his ball into the woods on his first swing, "Damn it! That totally missed!" he cursed.

"You shouldn't curse Father Bob!" said Father Michael "Or god might punish you!"

Father Bob apologized and they went on playing.

On his next swing, Father Bob hit his ball into ...

A man is illegally fishing

So a man is illegally fishing for 2 hours, at this point he has a bucket full of fish and heโ€™s still fishing, out of nowhere a cop comes in and tells him

โ€œYou know you canโ€™t fish here right? Itโ€™s illegal, Iโ€™m gonna have to arrest you.โ€

The man hides the pole and replies:

โ€œOh no...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A frog is born mute

A frog is born mute so he canโ€™t make any noises that a frog typically makes because, well, he canโ€™t make any noises at all. So naturally itโ€™s very difficult for the frog to make friends with the other frogs and he ends up with just one friend; a tortoise whoโ€™s had the patience and the wherewithal to...

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say

โ€˜Buk Buk BUK.โ€™
The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them. Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk and say,
โ€˜ย Buk Buk BuKKOOK!โ€˜
The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books. The chickens leave as before. The ...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

One summers day, a group of young girls decide to go swimming...

One summers day, a group of girls decide to go swimming rather than class. Instead of the more popular spots, the friends choose a discreet little pond on the far side of the lake. Sure, its privately owned but they're unlikely to be discovered there.

When the young ladies get to the pond, t...

Two boys are in the woods...

...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting naked in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see naked chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a naked girl...

The lonely fish

Deep in the bamboo forest, there lived a tiny fish alone in a pond. Every day he swam around the pond in solitude. His little heart longed for a companion. He gradually became incredibly sad, he stopped eating and he started losing the color in his scales. A fairy, passing by, was taken with the pl...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

NSFW A handsome traveling salesman stops at this farmhouse.

After a long wait at the door finally a young woman with no arms or legs shows up at the door in an electric wheelchair.

"Sorry Mister there's no one at home but me for the next few hours, but I would like to ask you a favor."

"Alright young lady, what can I do for you?"

"Well y...

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