UPJOKE
reviewpolishrefreshroundround offpolish uppaintdownriseelevationlifttouchascendheavebristle

One day two friends decided to brush up their English.

One says "i will ask you the antonyms of some words".

The other agreed.

Friend 1 : Antonym of 'Always'

Friend 2 : Never

Friend 1 : Antonym of 'Stop' said in a modern way

Friend 2 : Gonna

Friend 1 : Antonym of 'take'

Friend 2 : Give

Friend 1 : A...

I need to brush up on my geography.

The box my new TV came in said "Built In Antenna." I have no idea where Antenna is.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I went to the hospital with a toilet brush up my butt...

The doctor asked "How did this happen?"
I said "Well I met this girl in a club and took her back to mine..."
He interrupted and asked "Into the kinky stuff was she?"
I said "No. The wife was home."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having had seriously bad breath for most of his adult life, Larry finally goes to see a Doctor about it.

The Doctor examines Larry, takes samples of his saliva, tooth plaque and does a tongue swab. He asks Larry to return Tuesday for the test results.

Tuesday, Larry is sitting in the Doctor's office, hopeful for a cure.

"Larry", says the Doc, "Your breath could knock a buzzard off a shit...

I used to know some good dentist jokes

But I need to brush up on them

What does a dentist-in-training do before an oral exam?

They brush up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is in a queue at a store and sees a busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.

"Excuse me do I know you?" he asks.

"Yes, I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says.

The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says, "Fucking hell, are you the stripper I shagged on my bachelor party, whilst your friend whipped me, and your other frie...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.