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Bicycles Jokes

What do you call two bicycles that are stuck together?

Conjoined Schwinns

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a person with a sexual attraction to bicycles?

A pedal-phile.

A Mexican guy comes riding up to the border on his bicycle with two big sacks over his shoulders.

He tells the border guard that the sacks are full of sand, but the guard doesn’t believe him.

The guard detains the guy, and rips open the bags, but there’s nothing but sand.

He even has the sand analyzed, only to find that it really is just sand. And the sack is just a plain sack. <...

At the border, a man drives up on his bicycle with a sack on the luggage rack.

Customs officer: "Do you have something to declare?"

Man: "No."

Customs officer: "And what do you have in the sack?"

Man: "Sand."

During the check it turns out: actually sand.

Every day for a whole week the man comes with the bike and the sack on the luggage rack. ...

Two nuns are riding bicycles through the Vatikan and they decide to take a shortcut down a cobblestone street.

The first nun says to the second, "I've never come this way before"
The second nun replies, "Nor have I. It must be the cobblestones."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bicycles are bad for national economy

Oh Yes Mr. Reader, Bicycles are bad for national economy, even if its sounds ridiculous but it is always true that: -

Cycling is a danger to the country

Now reasons:

• He doesn't buy cars

• He doesn't take loans

• He does not insure the car

• He doesn't b...

Where do paranoid schizophrenics ride their bicycles?

On the psychopath.

Why can't bicycles stand up on their own?

Because they're two tired

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The existence of Bicycles

Implies the existence of Homocycles and Heterocycles

Why can’t bicycles stand on their own?

They’re two-tired.

Three nuns are riding bicycles down a old street...

One says 'I've never come this way before.' To which the youngest nun says, 'I know, I think it's the cobblestones.'

Not Mine But i had to share

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My neighbor stopped by to tell me my dogs had been chasing people on bicycles

Bull shit, my dogs don't even have bicycles!

My dog kept chasing people on bicycles

So I took his bike away

Why do bicycles never go to parties?

They’re always two-tired.

Two nuns riding bicycles on tiny back roads in Vatican City...

One old and one young, they pedal down the tiny side streets admiring the scenery. The young nun sighs and says, "Wow, I've never come this way before."

The other nun goes, "Ah, yes, my dear. It's the cobblestones."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Mexican on his bicycle crosses the border with a large sack.

The border patrol agent stops and asks him what’s in the sack. “Sir, it’s just grass.” The agent looks into the sack and lets him pass. The following week, the Mexican crosses the border again on his bicycle with another sack and the border patrol agent stops and asks him what’s in the sack. “Sir, i...

Guy crosses the border on a bicycle with two bags over his shoulder

The guard stops him and asks:
"What's in the bags?"
"Nothing but sand sir"
So he examines the bags and indeed nothing but sand.
"Ok you're clear move on"
Two weeks later, same thing.
So this guy goes on for months, every two weeks same bags, same sand and they find nothing and i...

Forgetful preacher...

A Baptist preacher and a Methodist preacher lived in a small town.

Being quite young ministers, they rode their bicycles to the town’s only service station every Sunday morning to eat breakfast and discuss their sermons before riding off to preach to their respective congregations.

On...

After a busy day, when we get into bed we become bicycles.

Too tired.

A man is found dead surrounded by 53 bicycles. How did he die?

He had an ace up his sleeve.

A man is going across the border with different bicycles everyday with bags of sand on the handle bars

The border patrol searches methodically and carefully everyday in the sand and they are never able to find anything. An agent retired 7 years later meets the man in a cafe while they’re both getting a coffee. The man asked if he could buy the drink but a question would have to be answered. The man ...

Two nuns ride their bicycles to the monastery.

The older nun suggested a detour through an old little street.

After they arrived, the second nun exclaimed: "I never came this way!"

The first one smiles and explains: "It's the cobblestones."

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