Nissan is rear-ending a Jeep in England.

Immediately from the Jeep are jumping two huge americans. They go over to the other car, pull the guy out, and start beating him. He is starting to scream:
"Come on, guys, stop!"
They continue.
He tries to stop them again, but they don't listen.
Then he says:
"Come on, guys, please st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A week ago my Jeep broke down and I had to scrap it

Today I found out my friend got the exact same model Jeep.

I'm pretty sure its a reincarnation

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two men are walking through the desert and stumble across a big rock

- Hey, what a weird rock!

- Yes, it looks like a pyramid!

They both dig and discover a huge pyramid.

- Shit! It's a giant pyramid!

- What do we do with this?

- We should notify the American archaeological team. These people are professional and I'm sure they'l...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

What's the difference between a hedgehog and a Jeep?

With the hedgehog the pricks can be seen on the outside and with a Jeep the prick can be seen on the inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men survive a plane crash in the jungle.

Paddy, an Irishman, Jock, a Scotsman, and Edward, an Englishman.
The three men band together and set off in search of civilisation. After many hours trekking through the jungle the men come across 3 rotting dead birds.
“I’m not eating that!” Says a disgusted Edward.
“Aye it’s covered in ...

What's the difference between a rental car and a Jeep?

There are some places you wouldn't take a Jeep.


(I mean taking it off road and abusing it)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four men are stranded on a deserted island

After wandering for days, they finally come upon a small shack in the distance. Unsure of its safety, one friend volunteers to investigate while the other three stay behind.

Taking a deep breath, the bravest of the friends walks through the front door and finds a witch waiting for him.
...

What does a shepherd drive?

Ba Ba Black Jeep

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Family reunion with Dad and stepmom

Dear Mom,


We are having a great time here at Camp Hazardous Hills. Grandpa is making me write to you in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away.


Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on th...

So, I'm on base when my sergeant calls me into his office.

He hands me the keys to his SUV and says "Look, I know it's not a new vehicle, but they recently stopped making this model. It's important to me that it not get damaged. I need you to take it and get it washed off-base." I'm taking the duty really seriously, but when I drive by the woods I see th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Men are stranded in the middle of nowhere as their car broke down.

They suddenly see a house in the distance and decide to seek assistance but decide to go individually as they do not want to alarm the home owner. So the first guy approaches the house and is greeted by the most hideous old lady he has ever seen and he asks "hey, is there by chance you have a teleph...

98% of all Jeeps ever made are still on the road today.

The other 2% made it home.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] [Long] Three men are stranded in the middle of the desert. Each one of them is starving, thirsty, and desperate to get home...

As they trudge through the endless desert, one of them spots a small cottage in the distance with scrap metal and junk all around it. He told the others and they all thought it was just a mirage. But as they drew near the cottage, they learned that it was very real.

They all get excited. C...

I was driving a jeep in a new video game

It was a little buggy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dying of dehydration

There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The American President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

'Hallo, Mr. President!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare , Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!'

'Well, Paddy,' the president replied, 'How big is your army?'

'Right now,' says Paddy, after a...

My wife crashed the car listening to Adele,

She was rolling in the jeep

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A General wants to reserve a Jeep from the motor pool.

A general wants to reserve a jeep from the motor pool. His assistant is out so he makes the call himself.

"Motor pool"

"Hello, yes, I'd like to reserve a jeep for General Franklin"

"Well it better be a big jeep if fatass Franklin wants to go for a ride in it."

The General...

The town's most religious man...

As a great rainfall came the town's most religious man refused to leave. After it seemed everyone had been evacuated one last jeep came through and rescue workers asked the man to get in.

"No thank you. God will save me." said the man.

Hours later as the rain grew more intense and floo...

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Hanukkah.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his says, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles.”



“She did,” he replies. “But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?”

Two hunters were driving down a narrow two lane road in an off-road jeep, and saw a sign that said 'Bear Left'...

They turned around and went home.

Money makes every thing...

A girl missed her period 2 months ago,her mom
took her to the clinic for pregnancy test of which
it was positive.Embarrased, her mom said; who
is the pig that got you pregnant? The girl picked
up her phone and made a call, an hour later,a
young handsome man drove in Ferrari to the
...

Roman Numerals are very interesting... [LONG JOKE]

You turn on the radio one morning to find another one of those Rap songs where every 4th word is a swear. Naturally the Radio bleeps it out, but you realize that it sounds familiar. You realize that the rappers are speaking in Morse code.

Your eyes widen as you swerve over onto the shoulder ...

I'm 1/16th Cherokee...

Not by ancestry, but because I got into a terrible accident in my Jeep and the doctors were unable to remove all the shrapnel.

I just bought the personalized license plate BAA BAA...

For my black jeep...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Marine Corp and the radio

One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, we were preparing for a ten-mile march in 100-degree weather when a jeep drove up with a big - sophisticated looking radio in the back.

"Who knows anything about radios?" our drill instructor asked.

Several hands went up, and anticipat...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The salesman

A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas." The boss liked the kid so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. Ill come down a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW So I was with this girl...

and while fingering her I noticed how loose she was.

Feeling adventurous I decided to try for 4 fingers - no problem. After a few seconds I thought I'd see if she could handle my fist. She was going nuts and my fist went in without incident, so I decided to see how crazy I could get.
<...

There was a bad accident at the Air Force base.

A jeep ran over a bag of popcorn and killed two kernels.

Army Wargames

During an Army war game, a commanding officer's jeep got stuck in the mud. The C.O. saw some men lounging around nearby and asked them to help him get unstuck.

"Sorry sir, "said one of the loafers, "but we've been classified dead and the umpire said we couldn't contribute in any way."

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Israeli Hell

A person dies and is judged for his sins.

“Well,” says the angel, “Sorry, dude, but you are going to hell. But as a bonus for not being a complete putz, you are granted the choice to which hell to go. Your options are: the Soviet hell, the Nazi hell or the Israeli hell.”

The sinner thi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young salesman applies for a job in a big store

The manager asks him about his credentials, and the young man answers: "I can sell *everything*."

Encouraged by the young man's confidence, the manager offers him the job, and he starts right away. A week later, they review his performance.

"How many customers have you served?"
...

A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa

They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.

The biologist says, "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle, a white zebra! There are white zebra's! We'll be famous!"

The statistician explains, "It's not significant. We ...

A shepherd is relaxing after a long day, when a businessman comes by...

A shepherd is relaxing after a long day, when a businessman comes by.

He's sat on the grass, chewing on a straw, watching his sheep roam around under the last rays of the setting sun. A jeep leaving behind clouds of dust stops before him, and off gets a businessman clad in an expensive suit a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roy Rogers and the mountain lion

Back in the 1950s, cowboy star Roy Rogers bought a brand new pair of expensive cowboy boots. Cowboy boots are notoriously stiff when they're new so Roy spent all morning oiling and working the leather to try to soften them up a bit. He then took them out onto the back porch to dry in the sunlight wh...

Singer Adele was rushed to the hospital after a fatal car accident

Paramedics said they found her rolling in the jeep.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three war veterans were having a beer at a port

They all had other nationalities; one was British, one was American and there was a German. They were having a chat in at a bar just close to the harbour 5 years after the war.

The Brit was telling about how good their motorcycles were. *we could drive almost 100 miles on one tank!*, said the...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman....

Are driving through the desert in an old jeep. The jeep hits a rock and flips over exploding into pieces but miraculously the 3 men survive. Searching around the rubble the Englishman suggests they each carry one item on their journey back to civilisation. The Englishman says i'll carry the water, s...

3 Soldiers are training for the army

3 Soldier are training for the army when their Commander ask each one of them the same question :

Commander : "If you are being pursued by an helicopter and you are in the drivers seat of a Jeep, what do you do to escape the emminent attack ?"

The first soldier answers :
"Welp, I th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] These two guys are stuck in a desert

They try to find some water and food but arent able to find any. Suddenly they come upon this huge house and one of them decides to go and ask for food and water. He rings the bell and this ugly woman with disgusting tits opens the door. So he asks her for rations and.she says he'll have to fuck her...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men walking through a desert: a very dirty joke !

So there were three men walking through a desert, no food or water, when they come across an old, decrepit house. They knock on the door in hopes to find someone kind enough to spare some food and water. The person that answered was a vile, disgusting, and unsanitary old woman. It smells and looks a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy and his family are on safari...

And they're traveling across Africa. they see the Giraffes, in all their majestic awkwardness, and they see the lions, with their intimidating beauty. The family then comes upon a herd of Elephants, and the child notices that one of the baby elephants is standing with his paw in the air, like he's i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are lost in the desert...

and on the brink of death, they desperately pray to God for help. Suddenly, the skies open up, and a booming voice comes down from the heavens.

"I will do this for you three men: Run up that sand dune in front of you, and when you reach the top, yell out something you want to turn into, and...

What brand of car would the Roadrunner be?

Jeep Jeep

The generals chauffeur was late...

and the general needed to be at a meeting on the other side of the base in ten minutes. The luckless private chauffeuring the jeep was going around corners on two wheels, running red lights and speeding like a maniac.

The general asks the private, "Son, do you know what the penalty is fo...

An English, and Irishman and a Scotsman...

...are traveling through the desert in a jeep but eventually run out of fuel. They continue the journey by foot but only take 1 item each.
The Englishman takes an umbrella, when asked why he replies, "I can use it to provide shade against the hot sun".
The Scotsman takes the biggest bottle of ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The headmistress of a Southern charm school calls up an army base and asks to speak to the Colonel.

"Sir, I do apologize for calling you so late, but my girls have informed me we have a bit of an issue that needs addressing directly," she says, "And I hoped you might lend a hand in solving it."

"Of course, Ma'am, I'll be happy to help if I can," says the Colonel. "What's the matter?"
...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.