I’m trying to convince my wife that I want a Segway for my birthday, but every time I bring it up...

...she changes the topic...

You hear about the train of thought that got derailed?

It got hit by a segway.

A little prick in Church

This little elderly wife and her husband never missed a Sunday service in 35 years. I believe they even sat in the same pew. They were very special to the church and one Sunday, the church wanted to present a beautifully engraved plaque. Coincidentally, it was their 52nd anniversary, and additionall...

What do you say to someone who both travels and speaks smoothly?

Nice segway

Reddit, help me finish this joke!

I have the first two parts:

1) The inventor of the Pringles crisp packaging was so proud of his invention that he was cremated and buried in a Pringles can.

2) The inventor of Doritos requested his family dust his grave with crumbled Doritos before burying his urn.

I need hel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pink Clouds

Every time I this joke, I always tell it replacing the "Guy 1," "Guy 2," etc. with friends' names. It's much funnier that way, but tell it however you wish. That's the great thing about it; you can change it to fit whoever you're telling it to, doesn't have to be about a pub. I once told it where my...

[OC] How did the author get from one plot point to the other?

A Segway.

--any tweaks to make it better?

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