Did you hear about the mountain bike who forgot his true purpose?

He was wheelie lost.

Ole came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike.

"Vere did you get da money for da bike? Dat musta cost $500," he asked.

"It was easy, Dad," little Lars replied. "I earned it hiking."

"Come on Lars," Ole said. "Tell me da truth."

"Dat is da truth Dad!" Lars replied.

"Every night you ver gone, Sven, would come over to se...

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Dad! You can strike out the mountain bike on my wish list for christmas!

Just found a brand new one in the basement!!!

A man came back from a long business trip to find that his son had a new $300 mountain bike.

"How'd you get that, son?"
"By hiking."
"Yeah, every night, Mom's boss came over and gave me $20 to take a hike."

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An American tourist is riding his mountain bike at breakneck speed down a narrow, twisting trail in the Swiss Alps

As he goes to pass a local woman tending to her farm animals in a small field, she turns and yells at him, "PIG!!!!"

The guy is a bit stunned, because the Swiss are usually polite and reserved. But he feels offended, and turns his head and yells back at her, "BITCH!!!"

As he rounds th...

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A young boy asks his dad for a new bike..

"Does your dick touch your asshole? asks his dad.
Looking confused, the boy says "Ummm, I don't know daddy."
"Well then you can't have a new bike." says dad.
A few years go by and the boy (Now 13) asks his dad for a new Mountain Bike.
"Does your dick touch your asshole, son?"
"No, not...

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The time I worked at a school for disabled kids

I stood at the front of the class and presented the children with a picture of a mountain bike and asked,
“What is this image of?”
“Mountain bike, sir”
“Well done mong number 1”

Then i showed a picture of a bmx and repeated my question.
“Bmx bike sir!”
“ That right! well done m...

A man meets a woman at a bar and invites her back to his place...

She says "I'm on my menstrual cycle".

He replies "Perfect! You can follow me on my mountain bike".

My buddy got a new camaro

And I just bought a new 21 speed mountain bike!

"I see you got a new bike. Think you could outrun my camaro on that?"

"Any day!" I challenge back.

So he jumps in his car, slams the door and takes off. 20 mph.... 30mph... 40mph, he checks his mirror. Here I come, racing right pa...

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