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Be Known As Jokes

David Hasselhoff told his agent that he wants to be known as Hoff from now on.

Agent: Sure David. No hassle.

June 1st should always be known as the Norman Osborn Day

Because it marks the end of May.

Have you heard 69ing will now officially be known as 96ing?

Due to inflation, eating out has gone up.

What will 2020 be known as?

The year of hindsight.

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I will no longer be known as a 29 year old virgin

i just turned 30

He will now just be known as ince Andrew

After the Pr disaster.



<Twiddling thumbs waiting to find out that someone already came up with this?>

The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle,

until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.

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You know you can build a thousand bridges and NEVER be known as a bridge builder...

But you fuck ONE goat...

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[NSFW] I took a girl back to my place last night...

...as I was fucking her on my bed, I pulled out a bottle of lube and said, "Do you mind if I put it up your arse?"

She looked at me and said. "Is it going to hurt?"

I said, "Probably, it's a big bottle."


[EDIT]: My top post ever is about sadism! Damn I love Red...

So a few years ago David Hasselhoff said to his agent "I just want to be known as The Hoff"

His agent replied "no Hassel"

Did you hear? Being the greatest business man and genius that he is, Donald Trump will be fixing the most original flaw of this great nation. And it will finally be known as America:

Land of the Fee! (Conditions may apply)

A joke I heard at mass

A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol"

The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then...

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Tough to be Irish

"What's your name?", asked the teacher.

"Mohammad," he replied.

"You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Mike.

" Mohammad returned home after school.

"How was your day, Mohammad?", his mother asked.

"My name is not Mohammad...

God created Canada.

On the 6th day God turned to Archangel Gabriel and said: "Today I am going to create a land called Canada, it will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It shall have tall majestic mountains,beautiful sparkling lakes bountiful with bass and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs over-l...

Hooters is trying to stay afloat during this pandemic so they are starting door to door service thus a name change is in order.

They will now be known as Knockers

English can be a silly language...

The European Union commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications (rather than German, which was the other possibility).

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling h...

Got a new job at Gatwick Airport. I patrol the runways on a horse and shoot down any illegal flying devices in the area.

I'll be known as The Drone Ranger.

Today SpaceX announced plans to launch several Guernsey cows into low earth orbit

They shall be known as "The Herd Shot Round The World."

I heard Netflix and Yahoo are merging. They are moving their HQ to Jerusalem.

They'll be known as Net 'n' Yahoo.

If Jason Bateman were to become a black belt…

He would be known as Master Bateman.

Due to recent changes, 50 cent has changed his citizenship to the UK.

After experiencing weight gain, he is being converted to UK currency and will now be known as "50 pounds".

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Geopolitics you need to understand.

Complex Geopolitics

The US has apologised to France and will likely bring them into AUKUS. Australia will be replaced and so the new alliance will then be known as FUKUS…

If Australia stays, then it becomes FUK-USA.

If Canada joins, it will be known as CAN-FUK-USA

If I...

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Elon Musk wants to start a university called the ‘Texas Institute of Technology & Science and an affiliate called Austin School of Science

To be known as TITS and ASS

The Washington Redskins finally decided to change their name to get rid of the association with historical racism

They'll now be known as the Arlington Redskins.

A friend of mine is an aviation technician

He's Welsh, called Dai and repairs planes.
One day, he had to do a repair on a broken toilet seat.
It will forever be known as, "Loo seat in the sky which Dai mends"

Scaredy Cat-tle

Why did the horse get extremely mad when classified as a bovine by mistake?


He didnt wanna be known as a cow word

Elon Musk has been captured by a fellow billionaire and is now trapped in a medieval rack.

He is to henceforth be known as Elon Gates.

The United Kingdom is to provide special support to those self-identify as gnomes, fairies or pixies...

It'll be known as the National Elf Service.

Just read that actor Maria Mercedes broke off her engagement to William Shatner.

She realized she'd be known as Maria Shatner Mercedes.

General Electric's aircraft engine division was just purchased by the Italian airline, Alitalia

The new company will be known as "Genitalia".

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Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin

Did you know that Einstein married his Cousin,
Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage failed in 1919.?

At the time he stated that he was attracted to Elsa "because she was so well endowed".

He postulated that if you are attracted to women with large mammary glands, the attraction...

If Britain lost the second World War...

Would the Prime Minister be known as Loseton Churchill?

If Squidward got a job at a prison for squids,

Would he be known as Squid Warden Squirdward?

American Indian female wrestling

A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket. Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide. This tribe had a particularly large and strong woman, with a very unique...

Thomas finally gave up on his dream of being a champion after always vomiting at the National Spelling Bee

He’d always be known as an expeller now.

A band should name themselves "rubber"

So they'll be known as the rubber band.

An Emperor wanted to prove that he was greater than Alexander the Great

So he visited an elderly Council of Historians who had the power to write an Emperor's legacy after his time and spread his fame far and wide.

He asked them, "O Great Historians, what made Alexander a Great King? I wish to be greater than him and the greatest in human history"

And he ...

If Elvis only wrote sad songs

He would be known as Elvis Depressly

Werewolves are notoriously hard to find...

Otherwise they'd be known as Therewolves.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked i an interview

Journo. "You have been so successful as an actor...."

Arnold ,"yes i was the Terminator"

Journo. "and as a governor!"

Arnold ,"yes i was the Governator!!"

Journo. "well, the Europeans need a leader like you, how about it?

Arnold ,""No , then I will be known as the ...

If Bill Gates becomes a Trillionaire...

He will be known as Trill Gates.

Women must find dad jokes attractive.

Otherwise they’d be known as bachelor jokes.

Arms Dealer?

Would those who make upper extremity prosthetics be known as "arms dealers"?

More NFL news

NFL CUTS ONE TEAM

The NFL announced today that for financial reasons they had to eliminate one team from the league.

They've decided to combine the Green Bay Packers and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and form one team, causing many layoffs but saving millions of dollars in costs.

The...

If Popeye liked escargot instead of spinach

Would he be known as Popeye the Snailorman?

Washington Redskins Name Change

The Washington Redskins are changing their team name because of all the negativity, shame, humiliation, dissent, polarity, defiance, animosity, contempt, discrimination, division, counter-productivity and hostility associated with their name.

...from now on they will simply be known as the Re...

I walked into a Victoria's Secret a man and came out a knight.

From this day forward I shall be known as Sir- please leave you're being creepy.

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New HR policy

Dear Employee:

As a result of the reduced budget, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.


Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase...

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