UPJOKE
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Baptise Jokes

When I was baptised, the priest wore a fake nose, moustache and pair of glasses.

It was a blessing in disguise.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First ...

A Man walks down to the lake and sees people being baptised in the lake

He was never baptised and wanted to see what it was all about, so he asked the priest if he could be baptised and the priest said sure.

The Priest ducks the mans head underwater and says “Did you see Jesus?” “No” replied the man

He ducks the mans head under again “Did you see Jesus?” A...

Did you hear about the agnostic scientist who had twins?

She had one of them baptised, the other one is the control.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Jews meet.

The first one askes:

\- Listen, Chaim, is it true you got baptised?

\- Yes, Moshe, I have.

\- But why? How? You were always such a firm believer, how could you betray our fathers' faith?

\- Oh, well, I talked to the priest of our town's church. He is so convincing! You go...

A Rabbi, A pundit and a Priest

A rabbi, a pundit and a priest once decided to put their skills to the test,
so they challenged each other...the challenge was who could convert a bear

They all met a few days later.....the pundit n priest were ok but the rabbi was in a full body cast...

so started the pundit...gues...

Yo Mama so fat...

she had to get baptised at Sea World!

A rabbi, a Catholic priest, and a Protestant minister are talking in a bar.

They bet each other that they can convert a bear to their religion. At dawn the next day, they meet at the edge of the forest and wish each other luck before setting out. At the end of the day, they meet each other again on three separate stretchers. The priest is all beat up. He has a broken arm an...

Muslim converting to Christianity [Translated]

A muslim decided to convert to Christianity. He went to the Vatican to get baptised.
There was two men before him, the Pope took the first and dipped his head in the holy water basin and took it out. The Pope asked the man: Did you see Christ?? The man replied Yes. The Pope said: Congratulations,...

Two Mormon bishops are going for a walk...

They have been friends for years. One turns and says, "We've been so close for so long. Tell me, hypothetically, if you had two yachts, would you give me one?"

The other bishop says, "Why, you baptised my son! Of course I would give you one!"

"Then tell me, hypothetically, if you had t...

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