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Basically Jokes

Male bees die after mating. So that's basically their life.

Honey. Nut. Cheerio.

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child.

Though to be fair, Trump kinda had it coming.

I just realized Titanic and the Sixth Sense are basically the same movie.

Icy dead People!

Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless

Just like me

Every shape is basically a circle

It's just that they are all edgy.

What movie was basically just an ad?

The Hulk. It was just one giant Banner.

...and thats basically capitalism

Two man are locked in a room. There is a cake in the middle of it. The first one thinks: "I now have two options:

1. I take half of the cake and the other half is for that other guy.
2. I kill that other guy and have the cake all by myself."

He goes for the second option and kills t...

Going to mass is basically just like a dog being trained

A guy tells you to sit and stand and sit and stand, and at the end they give you a snack

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cat parents are basically failed gold miners…

All they do is dig up shit….

Saying "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" means basically the same thing...

...except at a funeral.

X is basically Y with a leg to stand on.

That is all.

The W.H.O officially announced that dogs cannot get infected by the Coronavirus. Therefore, dogs can basically leave quarantine.

So, i guess you could say.... W.H.O let the dogs out.

The moon is basically a walmart sun

it reflects the behavior of the original product, but it just isn't the same

Zoom meetings are basically seances with the living...

Brian, are you there? Make a sound if you can hear us. Is anyone with you? Can you hear us?

Today I gave a homeless man everything I had, my identity, wallet, car, house, even my wedding ring. We basically switched places.

You can't imagine how good it felt to be free of debt for the first time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The bathroom is basically extra storage.

It's where I keep all my shit.

Credit to u/mynock33

My wife is basically my whole universe...

She used to be a lot smaller and hotter, but for some reason, she just keeps expanding.

The sad thing is, eventually, there’ll be parts of her I can see now that I’ll never see again!

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

Basically, you'll never see the same doctor in two different places at the same time.

That would be a pair'o'docs

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Did you know there are basically no canaries on Canary Islands?

Virgin Islands is the same case....

Not a single canary...

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Pedophiles are basically another form of hipsters...

... they are into people before it's cool.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All dick jokes are basically the same...

They just vary in length

Reddit silver icon is basically a toilet seat

An aerial view of a toilet lid.

Does anyone want to hang out, chat, and basically just be buddies with a lonely guy?

I’m asking for a friend.

You're so inbred that you're basically a sandwich.

That's all, that was the joke. Sorry. Heard it from a cousin, probably not original.

Walking and LEGO manuals are basically the same thing

There are to many steps

Waiter:"There's basically everything on our menu"

Customer:"I see. Now, would you please bring me a cleaner one?"

Trash/rubbish bags and condoms are basically the same thing.

You fill them with your junk and they always seem to break and spill everywhere when carrying a big load

Music producers are basically like a pizza business.

They both make their dough from mixers.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I did basically nothing for a period in school

Well I lied, we had sex ed, but that only lasted 20 seconds

I'm basically a walking Dad joke.

My daughter ran up to me and said, "Daddy, I'm hungry!" I replied, "Give me a better opener, that bit's played out."

A korean couldn't find his coin, so basically ...

a korean lost a korean won

Financial Advisor: "I don't quite know how to break this to you but you're basically broke." Wife: "He's always spending money on stupid stuff!"

Me: "Lets ask the dog if he thinks his jeans are stupid."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I recently saw one of those animated pornos that basically makes fictional characters have sex.

This one was about a certain famous, big superhero guy in red with an 'i' on his shirt, I can't remember his name. Anyway, the film was surprisingly good and left me thinking, 'that's just fucking incredible'.

Corona Virus Symptoms Basically Are The Same Feelings You Get When Your Wife Is Checking Your Phone

-Difficulty In Breathing -Sweating Profusely

-Weakness

-Headache

-Stomach Ache

And when you are asked a question the dry cough starts.

I had five hundred Hershey Bars in my fridge and my friend had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.

That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are basically ten kinds of people

* Those who know binary.
* Those who think in binary and pronounce the numeral "10" as "two", these are robots and should be destroyed.
* Those who fuck up the setup.
* Those who quit early.
* Those who never really gave a shit in the first place.
* Those who take the opposite positio...

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I can't cook. My strategy for operating the oven is basically the same as my strategy for sex

I do my best to turn it on, then I stick my stuff in and hope for the best.

For anyone who doesn’t know how to make nuclear weapons, this is basically how...

Carefully.

What's the talent show where the contestants do basically nothing?

"American Idle"

If you lose your fingers your girlfriend basically turns into a truck with no battery...

You can’t turn her on so she demands to be toed.

Having family spend time at your house and eating seafood are basically the same thing.....

Great at first but start to stink after a couple days

So countries are basically competing to most effectively manage a virus that makes people cough and sneeze. Does that make this...

A Cold War?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working from home is great! I’m basically getting paid $30 / hr to play Mario kart and have sex with my wife!

That’s like $3 per race and $0.50 every time I have sex!

There’s a lot of blaming and accusations going on concerning the Trump/China trade talks. Basically . . .

It’s a lot of He said Xi said.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two old jews are sitting in a park and reading newspaper

One of them notices that the other's paper is from a really antisemite organization and basically a pure antisemitic propaganda

"What the hell are you reading? Why don't you read our jewish papers?"

"You see Chaim" the other man says calmly "When I read our newspapers all I see are pog...

You ever notice that all Dillards are basically the same and only exist in malls? You know what they say though...

...when you've seen one Dillards, you've seen a mall.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Most people have Homochromia, where their eyes are the same colour. I've got Heterochromia, and my eyes are different colours. So basically, God made me and said:

"You've got the most gorgeous eyes! No homo"

Have you ever noticed that American and Canadian coins look basically the same? Is that intentional?

Or is it just a coin-cidence?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it.

I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".

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