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Introductory Jokes

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An medical forensics professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students.

Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. “There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.” Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse's anus, withdrew it, then licked his finger. “Now you must do the same,” he told the class. A...

Hey baby, are you an introductory credit card offer?

Because your terms are hard to understand and you keep saying you have no interest.

A group of people are going through an introductory course to join the police force.

The first lesson they are being taught is about how to handle various situations in an appropriate, safe, and legal manner.

The instructor presents them with a scenario. They are dealing with an opponent with a weapon that can be used in close range, such as a knife. On the board in the front...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One night a guy goes to get a room in a hotel. "Hello, I want a single room for the night please." "Fine, sir, here's one of our best rooms. Room 13," says the concierge and hands him the key

The guy goes upstairs, takes a shower and gets straight into bed. At about 2 0'clock in the morning, two gorgeous naked women come in and slide under the covers. When he realizes what is going on, he starts screwing both of them. He can't believe what's happening. Next morning, still surprised by la...

A 300 page novel with a 50 page introductory essay written by the author walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long preface?"

I joined a club...

It's called Fight Club. I was a little late to the first meeting so I missed the introductory rules, but I highly recommend it for everyone and would love to discuss it with anyone who's interested.

Why did the Dalai Lama download the gambling app?

He'd heard they had an introductory offer that would make it Free Tibet.

What bust?

A young man went to the drug store and asked for a package of condoms.

"We have something new, colored condoms," said the clerk. "Special introductory price!"

So the young man bought a package of colored condoms.

Ten months later he was back at the drug store, and asked for a ma...

How to start a fiscally successful church:

Step 1: Learn how to converse with your God

Step 2: Do That

Step 3: Prophet!!!

For an introductory guide on how to talk to your God please send 9.99 to my church address. Email for details.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian professor...

...is starting his term at an American university. He is assigned to teach an introductory calculus sequence for freshman.

"What topics should I cover?", he asks a few colleagues.

"Oh, simple stuff" they say; "start off with some facts about the real numbers, move into limits and dif...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young married couple decides to join a church...

They attend a few introductory classes and meet with the pastor, who will decide whether they'll be approved for membership.

The pastor says, "Well, as you may have heard, we take fasting pretty seriously here. And Lent is just around the corner. I'd like to ask you to do something that may s...

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