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Functional Jokes

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A penis grew to 5ft9 and had functional arms and legs. With his new found life he opened doors, pulled out chairs and was very chivalrous.

He was a true genitalman

Once you stop doing functional programming...

You never return

In French we don't say 'ninety nine'...

..instead we say 'quatre-vingt dix neuf' which translates as 'we don't have a functional numerical system'

A functional gun shoots

While a broke one needs troubleshooting

What do passionate Indian chefs and functional programmers have in common when they are exhausted?

They curry on.

My camouflage is only 70% functional

Ouf

So they finally made an affordable and functional jetpack

The sales are through the roof

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The most functional word in English language is...

The most functional word in the English language is... Shit. That's right, shit! Consider this:

You can be shit faced, shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or, decide to shit or get off the pot.
...

I read that 73% of apple farmers are functionally illiterate

But it's okay, because they can still live fruitful lives.

TIL some parts of the Titanic are still functional to this day!

The pools are still full!

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Two Scientists walk into a Bar

One says "I'll have some H2O."

The other says "I'll have some H2O, too."




The bartender gives them both water because he is able to distinguish the boundary tones that dictate the grammatical functional of homonyms in coda position as well as pragmatic context.

Lots of rumors that Trump is a functional illiterate, but it's Fake News...

He's tremendously dysfunctional, big league. Ok? Ok.

This weekend I bought a belt buckle that was also a functional face clock...

I threw it out. It was a waist of time.

Sad news but a good friend of mine just had a stroke. He says he lost functionality of the left side his body.

When I called to ask how he’s doing he said “I guess I’m all right now.”

I'm the kind of guy that knows what every woman really wants

Pockets. Women want fully functional pockets.

I submitted a great joke about Reddit's search functionality a while back.

I can't find it now.

The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today...

I told them it wasn't pressing.

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A Londoner, a Parisian and a New Yorker get captured by cannibals…

The cannibals are pretty pissed off because these guys have just wandered into their territory without asking permission. So the cannibals tell them, “We’re going to kill you, we’re going to eat you, and we’re going to make a canoe out of your skins. But just because we’re in a good mood today will...

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A man is in a car accident and when he wakes up in hospital his wife is at his bedside while the doctor gives him some bad news.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news" says the doctor, "you're fine except for one thing, your penis was badly injured and we had to amputate it.. however, the good news is your insurance has paid out £6,000 for this injury and we have the technology to give you a fully functional prosthetic penis, now,...

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Did you hear that Lance Armstrong has an NFT?

A Non-functional Testical

The engine on the airplane sputters to a stop

The captain comes over the intercom.
"Attention passengers we've had a minor problem with one of our engines but we have three more and will only be a little late arriving at our destination".
A short while later another engine grinds to a halt with a small train of smoke coming from it. Again...

My girlfriend is weird. Sometimes she wants my time, then sometimes suddenly she wants her space

We don't seem to have established a functional continuum

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