What do passionate Indian chefs and functional programmers have in common when they are exhausted?

They curry on.

I read that 73% of apple farmers are functionally illiterate

But it's okay, because they can still live fruitful lives.

Sad news but a good friend of mine just had a stroke. He says he lost functionality of the left side his body.

When I called to ask how he’s doing he said “I guess I’m all right now.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A love story

A Love Story


Micro was a real time user and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output devices, even if it meant time sharing.

One evening Micro arrived home just as the sun was crashing. He had parked his Motorola ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well-dressed man, complete with top hat and monocle, walks into a bar.

The bartender, who has seen it all, pours the dapper gentleman two fingers of their top-shelf 25-year-old scotch. Just as the man begins nursing the peaty, smoky booze, a rabbi, a priest, and a minister all walk into the bar, arguing about how to prove the existence of their respective Gods.

...

A functional gun shoots

While a broke one needs troubleshooting

My camouflage is only 70% functional

Ouf

So they finally made an affordable and functional jetpack

The sales are through the roof

Once you stop doing functional programming...

You never return

The engine on the airplane sputters to a stop

The captain comes over the intercom.
"Attention passengers we've had a minor problem with one of our engines but we have three more and will only be a little late arriving at our destination".
A short while later another engine grinds to a halt with a small train of smoke coming from it. Again...

TIL some parts of the Titanic are still functional to this day!

The pools are still full!

What's a Priest's favourite functionality of Reddit?

*show all child comments*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The most functional word in English language is...

The most functional word in the English language is... Shit. That's right, shit! Consider this:

You can be shit faced, shit out of luck, or have shit for brains.
With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or, decide to shit or get off the pot.
...

This weekend I bought a belt buckle that was also a functional face clock...

I threw it out. It was a waist of time.

The down arrow key on my laptop isn't functional. IT asked me if they should call the on-site repair guy to come in today...

I told them it wasn't pressing.

In French we don't say 'ninety nine'...

..instead we say 'quatre-vingt dix neuf' which translates as 'we don't have a functional numerical system'

If Government was software how would you describe its issues?

Answer: Too much middleware and a major lack of API functionality.

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, ...

and floating in a bathtub? >!Bob!<

and sitting outside your front door? >!Mat!<

and hanging on your wall? >!Art!<

and lives in a swamp? >!Pete!<

and sitting in hole? >!Doug!<

and wanted for theft? >!Rob!<

and fully functio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Man goes to see a doctor about a life-long affliction... (long)

Man (In a raspy, hoarse voice): Doctor, you have to help me, as you can hear, my voice is hoarse and I can barely speak because it hurts too much. It's been like this since I was a teenager. I can't find work, can't talk with friends, or meet a woman. It's ruining my life. Can you help me?
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Larry got the new Secretary

**Garry:** Your New Secretary is very Sexy....

**Larry:** Thanks! she is actually a Robot, Named Doreen, if you squeeze her right breast, she takes dictation & if you squeeze her left breast, she types letters. Will Work as long as you like, no complaining, no sick days, no medical, no de...

My girlfriend is weird. Sometimes she wants my time, then sometimes suddenly she wants her space

We don't seem to have established a functional continuum

I submitted a great joke about Reddit's search functionality a while back.

I can't find it now.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.