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Alkaline Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call someone who refuses to drink anything other than alkaline water?

A basic bitch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

All my wife drinks is Alkaline Vapor Distilled Ionized Water.

She’s such a basic bitch.

What do you call an non alkaline Jewish family.

Hasidic

These batteries were dealing with an alkaline problem, I had to take them to

AA meetings.

Old lady walks into a pharmacy while shaking vigorously and breathing heavily.

Old lady: Excuse me?

Pharmacist: yes? How can i help you?

Old lady: Do you have a XXL Super Large vibrator with alkaline batteries?

Pharmacist: yes, we do.

Old lady: For gods sake, tell me how to turn it of!

Me and my friend robbed a chemical plant last night.

We stole all their Alkaline.
Now all their base are belong to us.

On a night out, a man finds himself in a bar where a local band is performing.

During the performance he comes across a woman who introduces herself as Teri Campbell. After a bit of flirting, they find themselves up against an amplifier, getting a bit spicy. Now he’d never told anyone before, but he had a fetish for vinegar. Anything with vinegar, it could be pickles, brown sa...

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